So True Especially for Malaysian Toilets

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!
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I picked this article from an email sent by my friend. This article may have potrayed you but it's somehow fictional and it's just co-incidental that you think it was you that I'm posting about.
Tags: Malaysian Toilet, Toilet Seat, Public Restroom, Public Bathroom

Berserk Mom Slapped Another Student

This incident occurred at the SK Bukit Damansara in Kuala Lumpur on May 20. A boy of the 1 Kreatif class was slapped by an adult woman aged 35 who accused him of bullying her son and being ‘too tough' in class. The victim is the assistant class monitor.

The attacker who is also a mother to a child in the same class had barged into the class and slapped this assistant class monitor, leaving marks and a scratch. This happened right after recess (during the morning session of schooling), after the science teacher had just entered the classroom.

Not only that, this mother kept pushing the boy repeatedly while throwing out foul words at him, all this in front of the teacher and the rest of the class. Despite the boy's cries of ‘I'm sorry, I'm sorry', the mother didn't stop.

Even the class teacher was yelled at. Questions like, ‘Who the hell are you to tell that my son is stupid?', ‘Where is the pig Azraai?', ‘Hey, f _ _ _ _ _ _ , why you bully my son?' were flying freely about the class.

In the end, this assistant class monitor was assaulted and left crying and this mother who had entered freely the school's property during school hours eventually left without feeling any guilt for what she had done.

The assistant class monitor then told his father later what happened, after being very quiet in the car. No one from the school called the injured party's mom or dad. His mother had to find out from another parent.

The next day, some parents gathered at the school gate and talked about what happened and on the next course of action that should be taken.

1. The victim's mom made a police report, wrote letters to the school with copies extended to the ministry of education seeking an explanation, She then met the relevant teachers regarding the matter

2. A few parents, including victim's mom, met with the ‘guru besar' and a few teachers over this ‘sensitive issue' (so termed by the teachers).

3. The husband of the attacker went to the school on May 21 to complain that someone had taken a photo of his son. This without knowing what his wife had done the day before.

4. The attacker then apologised to the victim's mom via an SMS on May 22 but not before verbally abusing her on May 21 from 1:30pm to 2pm

5. The school claims that they have issued a ban on the attacker and she is only allowed in with written permission from the headmaster.

6. The police are crawling with the investigation. The investigating officer says that they have not closed the file and that we can proceed with the civil suit. The police have asked the victim's parents to settle the issue with the school.

7. It was also made known that the attacker made a police report stating that her son was being bullied by boys from 1Kreatif class and that she had earlier went to the school to complain about the victim kicking and hurting her son, while another male classmate, Azraai was also accused of hiding the victim's school bag.

The pressing issue now is that a minor has been assaulted by an adult, in public, witnessed by teachers and students. The school was irresponsible in not informing the boy's parents of the incident or taking any action against the adult. Parents are left frustrated.

This assistant class monitor is only seven years old. All of them in the class are also seven years old. They are boys and they play and fight all the time in class, at home, everywhere. They are sent to school to learn how to live, play, accept, learn and adapt to other children.

Now an assault has taken place, it has become just one of the many police reports, it's just a statistic. We parents are not happy and do not regard this matter as resolved.

There has not been any arrest on the charges of trespassing and assault and parents are only told that the issue is still under investigation by the education ministry.

The above article was extracted from Malaysiakini's website.

I would say that this lady is surely some big shot's wife. Only people who knew that they have strong back-ups dare to do such things. Otherwise, this berserk mom would have been arrested much much earlier.

What if another parent came into the school and slap her son instead? If she had done this because her son was just being kicked at .......... my my ....... if another parent did slap his son, I'm sure your guess is as good as mine.

Such behaviour is not due to work or life pressure but it's a bully mindset.

Related post - Parents Joined In To Bully
Tags: SK Bukit Damansara, Berserk Mom, Bully

Paintball to be Outlawed?

I have at least two or three friends who are really into the paintball game. I have tried it once albeit a lame one hahahaha. We were supplied with water pump guns only. It was a large area catered for their so called war games at a beach resort located at Rompin/Lanjut beach area.

That was my only exposure to it. The closest I have ever been near it is witnessing the people playing the game itself near my place of stay.

Gathered from my friends that this game is really expensive and you could spend a minimum of RM100 per game which also depends on how long you intend to play.

I would say that the game is still new in Malaysia and that it's too expensive to reach the mass.

For Germans, they better play the game fast as they may not be able to get their hands on those high adrenalin pressured guns in time to come. The German government is proposing that the paintball be banned in Germany.

Why? Reason - simulate killing on the grounds that they trivialise and encourage violence.

Recent shootings in Germany caused many innocents to be killed. The ease of obtaining guns / weapons has prompted such call for a ban that may even include paintball.

Reading: Germany moves to outlaw paintball - BBC News/Europe
Tags: Paintball, German, Germany

Dare You Say Your Wife's Ugly

I think all married Malaysian ladies must be very happy if they knew about this piece of news.

In protecting a lady's fragile emotional heart ........ there's a new law being proposed under the Domestic Violence Act 1994 .................. if you dare tell your wife that she's ugly, then you are dead (not as in physical though).

WOOOOOOOOOW!!! What act is this? Yeah, you don't need to touch them. Just by opening your big mouth will get you into trouble with the law.

When you lift your hand and hit a woman, it's called physical abuse.
When you open your mouth and say the word 'ugly', it's called emotional violence.

The proposed amendment to the act has not been tabled at the parliament yet but those husbands who normally do address your wife as an ugly person, beware!!!!! Is there any similar act around this world?

So, those husbands, you can still escape the brunt at the moment ........... but don't say you have not been warned.

As for the ugly wives (only if you think you are one), I'm sure the government has brightened up your day and days to come.

In the future, if your husband challenges you ........... you dare them "You think I'm ugly???????? I dare you to say it out!!!!!"

Just before you dare them, organise lah ..... some of your friends to take pictures, some to video shoot the whole scene, some to record the man's voice. But please don't forget, your husband may end up in jail.

Reading: Calling your wife ugly may become offence - Star
Tags: Domestic Violence Act 1994, Ugly Wife, Physical Abuse, Emotional Violence

Air Passengers Endangering Others

I travel a lot on the following air route sectors, Kuala Lumpur to Dubai and Dubai to Khartoum and vice versa.

In the airplane itself, I really can't sleep at all and that's the bad thing about it. So, what do you do when you can't sleep?
I would be watching those movies available via the small screen located right in front of you (at the back of the front seat). Unfortunately, the air stewards / stewardess would collect all the headphones from all air passengers (normally about 30 minutes prior to landing) for safety purpose. Just in case we crash land, the wires won't be dangling all over the plane.

What else do you get to see?
I would see a few air passengers who would be walking up and down the aisle to relax and stretch their legs or body.

The best part is not during the high altitude time but when we are landing. This is what I have observed / noticed:-

1) Upon departing Dubai for Khartoum, could see some air passengers still talking away on their mobile phones. At times, even when the plane is moving away from the airport and trying to move to the runway, some fellas would still be talking. They must be making tons of monies during that few seconds.

2) Just when every single person in the plane (incl all air stewards / stewardess) are seated in preparations for landing, you would see one air passenger standing up ....... walking towards to the toilet. Then you would hear the air stewardess' voices "Excuse me, Sir!", "Excuse me, Sir!". Normally such air passenger would pretend to be deaf.

3) As the plane is about to land, air stewardess would be checking each and every air passenger to ensure that their seatbelt is buckled up, their respective seats are upright and to put any bags / belongings up in the luggage compartment above.

I have seen this old European fella who was acting just like a young kid. I noticed the air stewardess was making her rounds. This guy was seated two seats away from me. First round, she told him to buckle up and straighten his seat. Round two, she requested him to do it again. Round three, ............. he undo everything hahahaha ..... and I think this air stewardess has had enough of him.

Round four - if not mistaken, the senior air stewardess came to him this time (I suspect she was requested to speak to this fella). Guess what did she say to him? I really respect how she handled him professionally.

"Excuse me, Sir! I have noticed that your seat kept moving down. Is there anything wrong with the seat? If there is, I might have to request you to change seat for your safety purpose. Is your seatbelt working alright as well?"

All said and done and he straighten up his seat and buckled his belt. Old fella (about 50 years old) and I reckon that he's not a first time traveller as he knows how to operate the movie channels with ease. Surprise! Surprise! As the plane was just about to land, he unbuckled his seatbelt. How I wish that the plane would move a bit and he was thrown out of his seat and land on the aisle. Not that I'm cruel but such people are just a nuisance and a danger to other air passengers. They thought that they are frequent air travellers and knew when / how to wear a seatbelt.

4) My colleague told me that in one of his recent trip from Dubai to Khartoum, as the plane was approaching the landing strip, a mobile phone actually rang. What does that mean? It tells you that that fella's mobile phone was not switched off at all.

I wonder which mobile line he was using as he was able to receive a call while still up in the sky. Not only his mobile was not switched off as three other passengers joined this ridiculous air passenger and made phone calls. Then you would hear those air stewardesses' voices again "Excuse me, Sir!, Excuse me, Sir. Please switch off your mobile Sir". Why do you still address them as Sir when they don't deserve that respect?

5) As the plane has landed either in Dubai or Khartoum airport and even before any announcement has been made, the locals would switched on their mobile phones as fast as possible and calls would be made to whoever and whatever. Can't wait at all???????

6) As the plane has landed either in Dubai or Khartoum airport, a few air passengers would stand to open the luggage compartment to take their handheld luggage even though the plane was trying to make its way to the main airport building. The plane was still moving!!!!!!! If I could remember correctly, it did happen before when the plane has just touched the runway and the air passengers stood up.

No choice again and you would hear those air stewardesses' voices "Excuse me, Sir!, Excuse me, Sir. Please sit down Sir, please sit down Sir". If the air stewardesses were slow in voicing out to get the first few to sit down, more air passengers would have stood up.

I really wonder where would they want to go. Jump out of the small window? Open any of the emergency doors and jump out of the plane onto the runway? It really didn't make any sense at all.

I have seen air stewardesses having to unbuckle and actually get the air passengers to sit down and buckle up again. Ain't that endangering the lifes of others?

7) I have heard seen an air stewardess running towards a toilet ........... the moment the toilet door was opened, you could see smoke coming out from the toilet too ........ haha. That smoker addict just cannot stand it without smoking for a few hours.

8) I have sat next to an air passenger who may not understand english language that well. Not ridiculing but this was my experience. He saw me watching movies. He touched my hand and requested me to assist him (by pointing to his screen and my screen). So, I touched screen and went to the screen which shows the movies' listing.

Now, how do you tell him that that's the listing. I looked at him, point ... point .... point ... at a few movies' names. He looked at me bewildered. I reckon being a guy, he would like to watch an action movie. Chose one for him and he asked me for a headphone. He didn't get one and I requested one for him.

In a short moment into his movie, he touched screen and the screen showed other movie channels .... and so forth. He signalled to me again and you know those duck and chicken talk. I was doing that coupled with sign language. I lost of course.

Why did you change your channel? Maybe he speaks or understood arabic language. So, I got him an arabic movie. He touched screen again ........... then he touched me !!!?!??!??!?

How would you react?

9) On another occasion, a similar air passenger had some issues with the screen. He touched and touched and touched. Looked at me and I directed him to the movies screen and put on the same movie as mine since he pointed at my screen. I reckon that he liked my movie.

A few moments into the movie, he touched and touched and touched (the screen of course - what were you thinking) and the screen went blackout. This time he touched me (they have to touched as I pretended not knowing what was happening as I want to enjoy my movie).

I got the air stewardess and told her this "He doesn't know how to operate and he has been touching it too much and changing channels every miliseconds. I think the screen gave up on him."

She re-set his screen (done somewhere in the plane), came back to me and requested me to touch here and there (the screen lah. blogging about air passengers' antics, not mine) to check his screen. It worked again ...... set up his 'favourite' movie ...... I simply choose one action movie. When a person has an itchy finger, he will always be tempted to use it. The screen blackout again ...... he looked at me. I looked at him and pointed him to an air stewardess with my eyes fixed on my screen.

Lots more to tell ....... I could even write a book about it.
Tags: Air Passengers, Air Steward, Air Stewardess

Old Dogs Rule

A wealthy old gentleman decides to go on a hunting safari in Africa, taking his faithful, elderly Jack Russell terrier named Killer, along for the company.

One day the old Jack Russell starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Jack Russell thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old Jack Russell exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!', says the leopard, 'That was close! That old Jack Russell nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old Jack Russell sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old Jack Russell sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Jack Russell says...

'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!'

Moral of this story:
Don't mess with the old dogs -- Age and Skill will always overcome Youth and Treachery! Bullshit and Brilliance only come with age and experience.
Tags: Old Dogs, Jack Russell Terrier, Leopard, Youth, Treachery, Bullshit, Humour, Funny

Piranha Fishes for Lunch

When we arrived, we were requested to take our seats at this wonderfully made timber table and chairs. We saw that smoky stuff and thought otherwise.

That smoke was there to deter houseflies. But I think I'll faint before the smoke will have any effect on those houseflies.

The team members that I worked with for our assignments in Sudan.

The sight of a beautiful 'beach'.

This restaurant was set up by a lady owner for over a number of years now.

Here comes our food.

Plenty of deep fried piranha fishes. That's what our Sudanese said. They mentioned that this piranha specie is different from the ones found in the Amazon river.








Just look at the servings.
















I think I ate about 5 fishes. Really tasty and there's no murky taste in the fish meat.










Just when we were about to finish those fishes on the table, another plate of fishes was served again. There was about another 10 ....... too much of it already.













And then they brought fruits. I was wondering how many people was the restaurant owner expecting for this table.














After finishing our lunch, we went for a short walk out to the 'beach'.

This 'beach' is the White Nile that flows from Kenya in the south. This is actually a river bank where we are standing on. The width of this river at this point could be about 5 solid kilometres. This is what I call a river.

During the raining season, the river could be as near as the blue building on the left.

Many people from the city will come over here for family gatherings.

Tags: Piranha Fish, White Nile