Thursday, June 18, 2009

So True Especially for Malaysian Toilets

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

I picked this article from an email sent by my friend. This article may have potrayed you but it's somehow fictional and it's just co-incidental that you think it was you that I'm posting about.
Tags: Malaysian Toilet, Toilet Seat, Public Restroom, Public Bathroom



Blogger Medie007 said...

i'm holding my breath and stopping myself from laughing.

i respect the women more now...

18 June, 2009 13:56  
Blogger Rosse said...

lol! hmmm i never sit when using public toilets its still dirty even when u put tissue paper on it as u don't know how many people been there in the first place...i trip once using the sitting type 'coz the door is not working and holding my balance to hold the door with my hand and then going on position wearing my slippery shoe..but not with my bottom on the i always look for a squat type for my safety.

18 June, 2009 16:18  
Blogger Sweet Jasmine said...

I rather hold my bladder if I could not find some decent toilet.

18 June, 2009 19:08  
Blogger WanWan said...

haha.. its a really a real experience.. But normally I will try to choose those squat one..

Really wonder why those ppl can use toilet till so dirty.. haihzzz

18 June, 2009 19:27  
Blogger foongpc said...

Wow! This must be the biggest nightmare to happen inside the ladies' toilet!

My lady friend had told me about the same kind of experience last week except for her case, she did not touch the toilet seat, but the toilet door's latch was spoilt and someone came pushing the door and her handbag fell onto the dirty wet floor!

Guess what she did with the handbag? She threw it away! And it was a RM300 handbag!!!

18 June, 2009 23:24  
Blogger Johnny Ong said...

medie007 - now only u know why they are stucked inside for so long??? haha

rosse - oh no u are one of those poor ladies

jasmine - i prefer a toilet that is dry

wanwan - cannot tahan what to do

foongpc - i think that must have spoilt the shopping day for her

25 June, 2009 01:14  

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