Difference Between A Wife & Girlfriend

This is good…. But true !

Wife is like a TV. Girlfriend is like handphone.

At home watch TV. Go out bring h/p.

No money sell TV. Got money change h/p.

Sometimes enjoy TV but most of the time play with h/p.

TV free for life but....h/p, if you don't pay, "The number you have dial is not in service" ....!

My comment:
TV more reliable, h/p more fashionable...
Tags: Wife, Girlfriend, TV, Handphone, Funny, Humour, Jokes

Spiderman Abilities Being Developed

Ever thought how does a lizard or gecko (as known in certain countries) and spiders have the abilities to hang on to the ceiling but does not fall off easily?

It's not easy to understand as involves science and quite complicated for me too. Both the lizards and spiders have tiny hairs which act as an adhesive agent. As seen, a lizard may not be that light but yet it was able to have the strength to hold its body up at the ceiling, upside down.

The Spiderman, in cartoon or movie format, displayed the same abilities for sticking onto walls up high in the buildings.


The scientists have done a research under "Structural properties of a scaled gecko foot-hair" under the Bioinspiration and Biomimetics which has been published in the Journal of Physics.

The scientists are doing a research on a potential spiderman suit which has the same capabilities as shown in the Spiderman movie.

The following criterias must be met first:-
1. most obviously, it must be able to demonstrate strong adhesive properties

2. the suit must be able to detach easily from a surface after it has stuck

3. the suit must, to some degree, be able to clean itself as dirt may interfere with the adhesive properties of the suit


And all the above involves such scientific terms:-
* intermolecular forces
* "van der Waals" forces
* carbon nanotubes
* geometrical properties or topology
* superhydrophobic

In the end, the scientists did mention this - that human beings' muscles were not developed to hang upside down like the lizards or geckos as the muscles will have its fatigue after a long hang. So, please go back to being a human ....... don't dream that you could a be superhero. That's only a comic book story.
Tags: Lizard, Gecko, Spider, Spiderman, Journal of Physics, Bioinspiration, Biomimetics, Intermolecular Forces, Van der Waals Forces, Carbon Nanotubes, Geometrical Properties, Topology, Superhydrophobic, Comic Book

Climate Is Too Hot Lately

How hot was it 10 years ago? I found it really warm at times but of course, uncomparable back at Sudan. Only if it rains in Kuala Lumpur now, I found the room's temperature cools down faster even with the air-cond switched on.

Humans have to adjust their dressing styles to fit in with the warm weather of late. And when you want to open up a business to cash in on the warm weather, an ice-cream stall may just be the answer.

The viability of the ice-cream business really depends on where you locate the business also.

Tags: Global Warming, Environment, Ice-Cream

Child's Guide to the Global Financial Crisis

This is a simple & funny illustration of the US sub-prime crisis.

You know dad is in trouble, and that mom is crying, and that the order for the Oyster 100 has had to be cancelled, and that the Bentley Arnage convertible is out, and that Graciela and Baby are on their way back to Manila and we're just left with Candy to help out, and that you probably aren't going to Choate after all, and it might be hard to figure everything out. But it's not.

Here's how it works. Think about gumdrops. They are no different than sub-prime home mortgages, and they illustrate how such a tiny segment of the housing market in the US could cause so much trouble for the world economy.

You used to be able to buy two gumdrops for a penny but now the price has gone up. They are a penny each. You want a gumdrop, but you don't have a penny. But I will loan you one because I know you want the gumdrop. I am not asking you if you have a way to pay off the gumdrop because I think you will pay it off, or I did before your dad got into trouble. I don't need to. But let's figure out if I can get some collateral. Collateral is a big word for something I can grab if you can't pay. That would be the gumdrop.

But collateral doesn't really matter. I know you signed a paper with your little six-year old hand that you would pay back the penny. Your father is rich, or was until the current unpleasantness, and I think you're good for it anyhow. So just like your father at the hedge fund, I have an IOU that represents the gumdrop. We can call it a mortgage.

But surprise. As soon as you gave me your little signature, I sold the paper to an 8th grader.

The kid who bought it from me has a great idea. He takes the gumdrop mortgage, and collects lots of them. Then he puts them into a fund that everybody can buy. A smart investment banker figured out in the 1980s that you could take lots of little IOUs, called mortgages, and bundle them together into bonds. These are called derivatives because they are financial instruments derived from the original mortgage. Then whoever buys them slices and dices them into different components.

The kid who bought your gumdrop IOU from me is like that. So what kind of derivatives can we derive from your gumdrop? Well, the kid who bought the gumdrop IOU split it into a whole bunch of new financial instruments. They are called collateralized debt obligations. He sells securities on the gelatine in the gumdrop for 1 cent. He sells securities in the dye in the gumdrop for 1 cent. He sells securities in the sugar for 1 cent. He sells securities in the aroma for 1 cent. He sells securities in the appearance of the gumdrop for 1 cent. He sells securities in the squeezability of the gumdrop for 1 cent. Your gumdrop, which you bought for one cent (although it's really only worth half a cent because of speculation and inflation) is now worth 6 cents.

But that's just the start. Each of the buyers of the gumdrop securities breaks them into component parts and sells them on to other kids. The kid who buys the gelatine security breaks it down into its separate chemical components and sells each of the chemical component securities for one cent each. That creates five new securities each worth a cent. The kid who buys the dye security takes a prism of the color and breaks it down into each of its component colors. The possibilities are nearly endless. Colors can be separated split into endless variations using color separators. Magenta and cyan are components of red. Yellow and cyan can produce green. Each one can represent a new security.

The kid who buys the sugar security got a great deal. Sugar is a disaccharide that breaks down into glucose and fructose. It breaks down after that into something called C12H22011, with the systemic name of D-fructofuranosyl or D-glucopyranoside. Each one of those is broken down again. Over and over. It's fun! Each of the people who breaks these down into individual securities says the security is backed by your one-cent gumdrop mortgage - the collateralized debt obligation.

In your dad's world, this is called "creating new financial instruments." By now, the total market value of the securities built on the value of your one-cent gumdrop is somewhere around 50 times that. But in a bull market, when everybody gets concerned that their snouts aren't deep enough into the money trough, they start to panic and buy more, forcing the price up even higher. So your half-cent gumdrop now represents maybe US$1.

Way down at the bottom is you. The whole thing is built on your gumdrop, but I remember that you haven't paid me the penny you owe me, maybe because you're scared to ask dad, who is very grouchy these days. So I'd like the gumdrop back. Unfortunately, you ate it.

There was another man who was a lot like that investment banker who figured out how to securitize mortgages. His name was Carlo Ponzi. But that's another story.

Related reading: Shrewd lenders spark US mortgage chaos
Tags: Sub Prime, Financial Crisis, Mortgage, , US Mortgage, Investment Banker, Financial Instruments, Bonds, Derivatives, Collaterised Debt, Securities, Carlo Ponzi

What Not to Say in a Plane?

After a month-long holiday in the US , my wife and I finally boarded the plane in San Francisco last Sunday heading home.

As the plane reached cruising speed with the seat belt sign switched off, a 6 ft 3" black man with the build of Mike Tyson in the front row got up from his seat, turned to face the back, raised his arm and yelled, "HIJACK!"

Everyone was frozen to the seat, expecting the worst to happen. And two stewards were about to jump onto this guy to overpower him when another voice answered from the back of the plane: "HI JOHN!"

The moral of the story is: If you have a friend named Jack, for heaven's sake don't ever call him in the plane. Otherwise you may land yourself in deep shit.
Tags: San Francisco, Mike Tyson, Plane, Travel

What is Marriage All About?

He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting>for?"

She answered .......................... (scroll down)

"THE TEETH"

Tags: Good Marriage, Teeth, Jokes, Funny, Humour

MV Agusta's Getting Better After Proton Era

Proton Holdings, a Malaysian company that has interest in the national car project - Proton, has disposed of its 57.57% interest in MV Agusta, a renowned motorcycle company to an unknown Italian company called Gevi Spa for a mere 1 Euro (incl. debts and working capital requirements totalling 139.44 million euros) way back during end 2005. I could have bought that company at a much higher price.

And lately, news came out that one of MV Agusta's motorcycle brand has been stripped of from its stable and sold of to BMW Motorrad International at an undisclosed price. The said brand being disposed of is Husqvarna Motorcycles, which is considered a renowned brand by BMW Motorrad and American Motorcyclist Association. I'm very about as BMW wouldn't have invested in a non-profitable business/brand.

It has been rumoured that MV Agusta managed to disposed the Husqvarna Motorcycles brand at a price of 93 million Euro. That was just for 1 brand.

The question goes back to Proton Holdings Berhad's management. Why did they dispose of MV Agusta for a paltry 1 Euro???? If people just brush it off by saying it's a management failure then I would say it's a total cover-up again or something fishy has happened. Who would in their right frame of mind dispose it at 1 Euro????

And then MV Agusta's new management managed to sell off a "renowned brand" for 93 million Euro. That sale would have met majority of the 139 million Euro required to cover debts/ working capital.

Not only that, after MV Agusta had freed itself from Proton, it managed to develop the following two events which I would say a brand building effort:-

* the joint-production of MV Agusta watches together with the renowned watchmaker, Jean Richard







* the development of the world's most exclusive and fastest production motorcycle on the planet, the MV Agusta F4CC at a price of 100,000 Euro, limited to 100 units only.

Me: Proton, what's your say in this?
Proton: We don't know.
Me: Ok, I had expected that answer as what else do you know.
Tags: MV Agusta, Proton Holdings Berhad, Proton, BMW, BMW Motorrad International, Husqvarna Motorcycles, MV Agusta Watches, Jean Richard, MV Agusta F4CC, F4CC, Motorcycles, American Motorcyclist Association