Show and Tell

The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for “Show & Tell” and the next day every kid had something. The teacher asks Wendy: What did you bring?

“I brought a Walkman.”
“And what is it for?”
“You can listen to music with it!”
“That’s nice Wendy. What did you bring, Kenny?”
“I brought a ‘letrical can opener, it opens cans!”
“Well done, Kenny.”
“Umm, Johnny, I see u didn’t bring anything!”
“Yes, I did. It’s in the hall.”

So the entire class goes to the hallway.
“Umm, Johnny, what is that?”
“It’s a heart/lung machine hospital use to keep your heart going.”
“Whoaa. What did your father say about you bringing this?”
“He said,’AAAARRRGGHHHH!!!!’”.
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Johnny, Electrical Appliance

Male vs. Female at ATM Machine

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."

*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE: Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

I almost fell off my office chair upon seeing no. 27 ......... hehehe
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Bank, ATM, Pin Number, Drive Thru

Awaiting Power Cable

Yeah.....still awaiting for the power cable. Logging in via another laptop where you won't believe the state of this laptop. Almost considered a scrap if I may call it that way. The screen's almost coming off, held on by just 4 screws only...... unbelievable but could still be used lah to post this at least.... hehe. And the best part, the sole USB port was not working, now how am I supposed to connect it to my external hard disk..........

Could be getting the new power cable by today/tomorrow ..... enjoyed my weekend with an Saturday afternoon meeting at church to discuss on the Christmas Dinner (to be held in church premise) and a Christmas Carnival (held elsewhere). More info on this soon.

At the same time, I'm working on the Christmas Drama 2007's script. Hopefully can finalise this by this week and get the whole drama cast members in order and start rehearsing their roles from then on. All blog readers are most welcome to see the drama which would be a 4 part series being acted out on 4 Sundays in December 2007.

Went for a wedding dinner at Holiday Inn, Glenmarie yesterday night. Known this guy for almost 20 years and a gang of us (some knew him for coming 30 years). All the best to him and his wife. His dad told us "he's way behind you guys".
Tags: Christmas Drama, Christmas, Christmas Carnival, Christmas Dinner, Church, Wedding Dinner, Holiday Inn, Glenmarie

Uncle Sam and Osama

Uncle Sam and Osama decided to settle the whole war with a dogfight. They would each have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog and whoever's dog won would dominate the world.

Osama found the meanest Doberman females in the world and bred them with the meanest wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog ever.

When the day came for the big dogfight, Uncle Sam showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9-foot long Dachshund. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage and slowly waddled over toward Osama's dog. Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of it's cage and charged the American dog--but when it got close to the American dog, the Dachshund opened it's mouth and ate Osama's dog whole.

Osama said, “We don't understand how this could have happened, we had our best people working for 5 years with the meanest dogs and the meanest wolves."

Uncle Sam said, “That’s nothing, we had our best plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weenie dog."
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Uncle Sam, Osama, Doberman, Dachshund, Dog Fight

Major Disaster

Firstly, diarrhoea struck right on early Thursday morning (close to 7am). Well, I didn't visit the toilet numerous times from 7am to 8am (latest time I need to leave house in order to reach office on time). Actually I stayed in the toilet from 7am to 8am. No chance to leave the toilet at all.

By the time I came out, I was so weak and the radar directed me straight to my bed again. Lied down there for maybe 20 minutes and the alarm bell rang again.............. oh man.....what a way to start my day. What did I eat the night before? What did I do?

I remembered me going for my first gym experience on Wednesday night (yeah, never joined a gym before). FYI, I have joined Impressive Fitness (5 mins walk from my condo). Passed my fitness test and went through 1 full round of the circuit trying out all the machines. Set my weights for each equipment with a trainer so that I know how much I should go for in my next visit.

Went home and ate some food (not home cooked) at home. After thinking back, definitely it was not the gym but the food that I ate. It was common food like rendang chicken, sambal prawn, some fried meehoon and got some home-cooked soup (proper one). Next thing I knew on Thursday morning was toilet visitation.

Then tried to log on to the internet at home. As the battery was waning out, I plug in the power cable. Didn't realise power was not connected properly and a warning window splased across my screen. HUUUUUUUUUUH???

No power supply? What happened? True enough, the power cable/adaptor has gone kaput. Before I can do anything further, might as well keep all. Went out to get some light breakfast at about 10am. Thought everything was over untiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil - good thing my toilet is clean. Visiting it was not a problem.

Well each toilet visit was greeted with stomach cramp (so I thought) until the doctor (paid a visit later) said it was the intestines that could not take the food poisoning effect any longer. Couldn't even sit up straight at times when the pain hits me during the toilet visits.

By afternoon, everything has cleared, no more food intake mean no output ...... yeah, will keep it that way. Only fluid. But I could hear a big typhoon storm in my stomach. You could have hear it if you were beside me.

Rested well in the afternoon after a strainous day. By evening, the storm had calmed down but with infrequent warning given out by the stomach.

By this morning, seems ok but looks like having an urge to visit only........ hehehe. Only get to post this while in office as I borrowed a power adaptor from another colleague while waiting for the IT Dept to get a new one for me. Hopefully by this evening otherwise will be boring weekend at home without the chance to blog.

Ahhhhhhhh, can go to gym if no power adaptor but I can't be in the gym the whole day then.
Tags: Journal, Life, Diarrhoea, Food Poisoning, Power Adaptor, Gym, Impressive Fitness, Health

Court Order Was Required to Kill a Bull

A bull, considered as sacred by a Hindu community, was ordered by London's Court of Appeal to be slaughtered. What caused a court to issue an order in order for a bull to be slaughtered?

The members of the Skanda Vale's Welsh Hindu temple's has vowed to save the bull's life with their own. I knew that cows/bulls are considered deities in India but quite surprised that the Hindu community in Wales itself was that pious too. An online petition has gathered about 10,000 signatures in a campaign to save Shambo.

The main reason for the sacred bull to be slaughtered was because the bull was tested positive with bovine tuberculosis. The Court of Appeal found it logical and justified to slaughtered due to health reason. But the temple worshippers are not giving up just yet. It seems that an appeal would be submitted to the highest court, the House of Lords, for a final verdict.

The Hindu Forum of Britain said slaughtering Shambo would be a "very gross affront to Hindus' beliefs". It's going to be a long legal process, it has gone through the Welsh Assembly, Cardiff's High Court and the London's Court of Appeal..... but if such situation was to happen in Malaysia, I really wonder how the case would have been handled ....
Tags: Sacred Bull, Court of Appeal, Shambo, Hindu, Wales, Bovine Tuberculosis, Hindu Forum of Britain, House of Lords, Welsh Assembly

Ditch Those Old Wineskins!

New wine must be put into new wineskins. (Matthew 9:17)

In Bible times animal skins were cured and made into wine containers. At first they were flexible and easy to work with, but over time they grew rigid and lost their ability to expand. That's why Jesus said, "No one pours new wine into old wineskins. [It] would .. burst the old skins ... [and] the wine would be lost ... New wine must be put into new wineskins." Likewise, God can't put fresh ideas into rigid or 'dead' minds, or change your situation till you're ready to change your thinking. God's Word says: "Don't keep going over old history ... I'm about to do something brand-new." (Isaiah 43:18-19). So if you're asking Him to enlarge your vision, you must first need to make room in your mind for it. Isaiah said, "Clear lots of ground .. Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big" (Isaiah 54:2).

Remember, dreams always come a size too big so you can grow into them, so don't settle for mediocrity in your work, your relationships and your walk with God. Mark Twain said, "Twenty years from now you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the wind. Explore. Dream. Discover." Maybe you come from a background of addiction, poverty, depression, abuse and low self-esteem. Well, God can enable you to rise up and put an end to that old mindset of defeat. He's ready to fill you with "new wine," but first you need to ditch those old wineskins!
Tags: Dreams, Explore, Discover, Inspiration, Wineskin

Starlight Cinema 2007

OK guys and girls...... an announcement here.

I have won a Complimentary Ticket for Starlight Cinema 2007 (Admits two [2] people; valid for ONE DAY only, between 17.07.07 - 28.07.07). If anyone of you are interested, please do post your email address in the comments section and I will issue a scanned letter of authority to you (on first come basis) to pick up the ticket on my behalf. Why blog sooooooooooooo late one???? Aiyah, I was informed quite late on my winning ticket.

Thereafter, you can go for your show within the next few nights. But hold on, you may ask what is this Starlight Cinema 2007 all about. Here goes:-

The largest, most reputable outdoor cinema festival IS BACK with its 5 th installation!!! STARLIGHT CINEMA promises you a one-of-a-kind cinematic experience Malaysia has ever had the good fortune to encounter, with an inflatable screen that is 17meters wide and 10.5meters high and a dynamic experience enhancing surround sound system, STARLIGHT CINEMA has garnered over 350, 000 people to its doors over the pass 4 years with its unique setting of movie magic under the stars.

This year's event, which will attract around 35,000 die hard movie fans to the beautiful setting of KBU International College, Bandar Utama, we will have a flea market, café and loads of other activities to keep you entertained from 6pm onwards. Also lookout for our themed weekends? Starlight Kids 21 & 22 July and Starlight LIVE powered by Anglia Shandy, 27 & 28 July.

Get there early to enjoy the early hour activities and to grab the best seating area, so avoid the long car and human queues and get there before sunset to experience? Movie Magic Under The Stars!'

And upon getting my scanned letter, you may have to go to Platinum Plubishers Sdn Bhd at 7A, Lorong Datuk Sulaiman 7, Taman Tun Dr. Ismail to obtain the ticket. You could collect the ticket during office hours (Monday - Friday; 9.00am - 5.00pm), with this coming Friday, 27 July, being the last day to do so.

Movie schedule for your reference.
Tags: Starlight Cinema, Movie, Anglia Shandy, KBU International College, Movie Magic

Salary Review

What you need...
















What you asked your Manager for...

What HR Promised...
... What you felt it as
What you received...Before Tax











What you received...After Tax

Is it the same throughout the world?
Tags: Salary Review, Human Resource, HR

Anger Management

A story of Anger Management between a Husband and a Wife.

HUSBAND: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

WIFE : I clean the toilet....

HUSBAND: How does that help ?

WIFE : I use your toothbrush.....

Have you ever watched the movie called Anger Management starring Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler (highly recommended movie). The scenarios in the movie is just like the above story between the husband and wife and more of it. I would have flipped.

It's not easy handling anger as even an Anger Management Instructor couldn't control himself too. This man, in Gary City, was arrested with domestic battery on his wife.

Tags: Anger Management, Anger, Jack Nicholson, Adam Sandler, Gary City

Dolce & Gabbana Gold

Dolce & Gabbana - famous for their clothings and apparels' with strong appeals from the sophisticated, yuppies and juniors.

Cashing in on their famous brand, D&G capitalised it by opening a luxury restaurant bearing the name Dolce & Gabbana Gold in Milan, the fashion capital of Italy.

At the entrance, the reception area would have captured your heart with its unique design which blended with D&G's business.
The restaurant section with its splendour wine collection for your choosing. It offers Italian cuisine with Mediterranean tradition. Service is impeccable.
You could also relax at its bistro section for light snacks.
Coffee room, a place where you can taste your favourite beverages.
The Lounge - your favourite drinks for the night are found here.

D&G's brand management has brought their brand into other industries for e.g. telecommunicaton as it has co-branded with Motorola to produce the RAZR D&G mobile phone.

Looks like the fashion industry are diversifying real fast especially into the luxury fashion hotel segment. Armani's boutique hotel will open at the world's tallest building, Burj Dubai. Versace & Bulgari brands have their own boutique hotels too.

Tags: Dolce & Gabbana, D&G, Dolce & Gabbana Gold, Fashion, Luxury, Lifestyle, Milan, Italy, Italian Cuisine, Armani, Versace, Bvlgari, Boutique Hotel, Fashion Hotel

Top Idiots

Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away.
Here's your sign lady. Wear it with pride.

------------------------------------------
Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.

When they took it for a float on the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign guys. Don't get it wet, the paint might run.

------------------------------------------
Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "This is a stick up. Put all your muny in this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

------------------------------------------
Idiot # 4
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.

Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.

He immediately mailed in his $40.
Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking about)!

Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Idiot, Toxicology, Boeing, Bank of America, Wells Fargo, Handcuff

Rich Man's Hobby - Beneath the Sea

Rich men (this is referring to multi-billionaires) have hobbies too. I have heard of one who likes polo so much that he brought in 8 thoroughbred horses from Argentina (the best). In a polo game, you need 8 players to play a game. In this way, he gets to enjoy his hobby with his pals who may not have the resources to get a horse.

Some prefer to have their own executive jets, some would prefer having a large property, some would go for exotic food in one night or go for a luxury holiday.

But I found an unusual hobby this time. Ever heard of people owning a submarine which was also used to entertain guests? Roman Abramovich could be interested in it too. There are a few luxury submarine makers which could meet the rich men's taste, namely U.S. Submarines (USA) and Exomos (UAE). Who are their customers? Both builders have to sign a "keep it a secret agreement" to ensure secrecy.

U.S. Submarine's ultimate sub is the Phoenix 1000 - ultimate personal transportation device, 65 meters (213 ft.) in length with 470 square meters (5000 sq. ft.) of interior space on 4 levels.

The CEO of Exomos said that a luxury submarine of a 10-passenger sub could costs up to $15 million (mid size - US$25 million). The submarine could be 3-story-tall with five staterooms, five bathrooms, two kitchens, a gym, a wine cellar and an observation portal measuring 30 feet long by 15 feet wide, or 9 meters long by 5 wide. It has a range of 3,000 nautical miles.
Reading: It's moved leagues beneath the sea - IHT

Tags: Submarine, Luxury Submarine, US Submarines, Exomos, Luxury, Lifestyle

Women's Remote Control

Rumours said that a remote control, after a detailed market survey was conducted based on women's needs, would be mass produced to meet the demand.Tags: Women, Remote Control, Gadget

Arrival of Mega Stars in LA

With David Beckham and Victoria Adams appearing in Los Angeles owing to David's football career with his new team, Los Angeles Galaxy, it has turned Los Angeles into a paparazzi gathering once again.

His wife was also known as Posh Spice in the Spice Girls' team may well enjoy the publicity that she's getting now. Looks like Spice Girls would be launching a world tour again.

W Magazine has paid an undisclosed amount just to get the couple to pose in their August 2007's issue. Considered as new American Idols by now?

Even in yesterday's friendly football between LA Galaxy and Chelsea, where Chelsea won 1-0, David's 2nd half appearance was the main highlight.

And the following superstars (that were sighted) appeared at the LA Galaxy's football stadium trying to understand the frenzy being caused by David - Eva Longoria / Katie Holmes / Jennifer Love Hewitt / Drew Carey / Brian Grazer / Arnold Shwarzenegger / John Hurt / Ray Winstone. Some were said to be watching their first football/soccer match in their life.

Reading: Beckhams begin their American invasion - MSNBC

Reading: 20 things you didn't know about The Beckhams - NY Daily News

Tags: David Beckham, Victoria Adams, Victoria Beckham, Beckhams, Posh Spice, Spice Girls, Football, Soccer, W Magazine, Los Angeles, Los Angeles Galaxy, Chelsea

Price War on Harry Potter's Book

* Latest update: Ministry of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs's Minister, Datuk Mohd Shafie Apdal said price war good for consumers.

Can you believe that 4 major bookstores in Malaysia are combining together and issued a press release stating that they won't be selling latest and final instalment of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Bookstores, namely MPH, Popular, Harris and Times said their actions were due to the heavy discounting action by 2 major hypermarkets, namely Tesco and Carrefour who were selling at RM69.90 way much lower than the RM109.90 made available at the 4 major bookstores.

I found that such practice by the 4 major bookstores sum up to being a cartel, hoarding the sale and maintaining a price in a monopolistic way. C'mon, is the Ministry of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs realising this hoarding business tactic. No business ethics at all. It's up to Tesco and Carrefour to sell at a price they like even though at a loss. This is what we called BUSINESS!

It was important to note that the book distributor, Penguin, had sold at the same price to all buyers and the 4 major bookstores were trying to cover their exhorbitant pricing at RM109.90.

Can you imagine Golden Screen Cinemas closing its cinemas for the day if it found out that Cathay Cineplexes was selling its tickets at a much lower price. It's up to Cathay Cineplexes' management decision to market at a different pricing as they may have other business synergy too. I really found it so perplexed by the 4 major bookstores' decision to stop selling the books.

This is to confirm that their moves are monopolistic and hoarding the books to maintain a price. It's just the same actions by those companies who were selling sugar where they tried to hoard the goods and caused shortages in order to push up the market price. RIDICULOUS!

I really wish the 4 major bookstores would follow the examples of UK bookstores who faced similar scenario. Leading UK supermarkets were selling the books at 4.99 pounds compared to those being sold at 17.99 pounds by major bookstores. But did those major bookstores went on strike like ours in Malaysia? NO!
Tags: Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Penguin, JK Rowling, MPH, Popular, Harris, Times, Tesco, Carrefour

Death of Common Sense

Tags: Common Sense

US$660 Million Settlement for Sexual Abuse

A shocking US$660 million sum was decided as the settlement figure for the controversial sexual abuse case involving 508 individuals (plaintiffs) against the Los Angeles Roman Catholic diocese.

Apparently, those priests and members of Catholic orders, responsible for the sinful acts, may not be held accounted for it as the diocese would be the guilty party in the legal case. Wonder whether real justice was done.

Who's going to pay for that staggering US$660 million:-
- US$250 million would be paid by the archdiocese;
- US$227 million by insurers;
- US$60 million by religious orders whose priests and brothers are accused of perpetrating some of the abuse; and
- US$123 million from “other sources,” including religious orders “not yet participating” in the settlement.

But would the settlement soothe the victims' hearts? One of the victim attributed his alcoholism, aggression, depression and two broken marriages, in part, to the abuse and the years of suppressing the memories. It was not easy for the victims after all these years.

People really wondered how could so many religious persons at a single diocese could have committed such an act. The end time is really coming.
Reading: After Abuse Settlement, an Apology to Victims - New York Times

Tags: Roman Catholic, Catholic, Priest, Los Angeles, Archdiocese, Diocese, Sexual Abuse, Religious

Calling for Bounty Hunters

Yeah, as per the title, Bounty Hunters are required in China and if your stint is successful you can share your experience worldwide. Interested?

In Luoyang city, Henan province of China ....... bounty was set ....... for ........ DEAD FLIES!! Yeah, those pesky housefly flying around during your meals.... hehe

How much would you get per dead housefly? A bounty price of 0.5 yuan (approx. US$0.07) per dead fly turned in at the Xigong district office. Lucrative? But may not be that easy as it sounds. I should have taken those pictures when I was in Sudan. It was terrible scenario. Our fly traps, when left alone for 3 days, would have been full of those pesky insects.

So, before you start the hunt you may have to learn the art of catching it. There was this guy who has mastered the art of catching those pesky fellas ...... he's called the Fly Slayer.

The residents in the province wanted to know one thing - what was the government's plan in disposing those insects after buying in tons from the residents.
Tags: Housefly, Bounty Hunter, Luoyang, Henan Province, Xigong District, China, Fly Slayer

Never Leave Home Without VISA/Mastercard

This durian fruit stall located in Penang is ready with credit card facilities for your purchasing. Durians in Malaysia are known as the King of Fruits but are banned from almost all hotels and airports. Somehow most westerners can't stand the 'nice' smell it emits.

Personally, I have tried the latest crop known as 'Musang King'. It's even more tastier than the known D24. More costlier than D24 too (can't remember how much I bought it, will confirm again). Bought it at the Sri Kota supermarket near my home. Heard that it's about RM20 for 1kg in Kuala Lumpur. It's going for S$12 per kilogram in Singapore.

If you haven't try it, go grab a small serving of it. I guarantee that you'll go straight to a road side durian stall to buy a bundle of it.
Tags: Durian, Penang, Fruit, King of Fruits, Musang King, D24

How to Survive in the Office?

Tags: Office Survival, Harold's Planet, Cartoon, Funny, Humour

First Time Voter

Tan Sri Ramon Navaratnam is prepared to offer RM500 to ANY PERSON in a congregation who brings in the highest number of FIRST TIME VOTER registrations.

Another RM500 will be given to the CHURCH with the highest number of FIRST TIME VOTER registrations.

Please inform CCM of your registrations. The CCM EXCO will decide the winner.

Dateline: 31st August 2007.

It is a small token but a positive step to encourage all Christians to exercise their right to vote. Thanks to our resident devil's advocate at Total Truth study group, YJ, I was alerted to the DPM's opinion on "Is Malaysia a secular state"? It reminds me of a thoughtful book review by Kian Ming back in 2004, hope that it would help us to think through this crucial issue as we approach the 50th anniversary of Merdeka!

Insight into the Malaysian constitution <<<< Read the book review here

Mon Jan 5, 2004

Review by Ong Kian Ming

MALAYSIAN CONSTITUTION: A Critical Introduction

By Abdul Aziz Bari

Publisher: The Other Press

250 pages

Tags: Malaysian Constitution, First Time Voter, Tan Sri Ramon Navaratnam, Secular State, Malaysia, Merdeka, CCM, Council of Churches of Malaysia, Ong Kian Ming, Church

FA President - A Coward?

I'm really not surprised to read that the Sultan of Pahang wanted to stay put as the President of Football Association of Malaysia despite the resignations of the Deputy President (helmed by his son), General Secretary (Ibrahim Saad, a politician too) and a Council Member (Khairy Jamaluddin - son-in-law of Malaysia's Prime Minister and a Deputy Youth Head of the ruling party).

From the abovenamed persons, they are either royalty members or politicians. Please replace them with professional managers or former great footballers.

The Sultan of Pahang even said this as reported in the Sun newspaper when he was asked why he decided to stay put in which the Sultan replied: "I'm not a coward. I'm not going to bow to public outcry."

Who said that you were a COWARD if you were to resign. Can you see the type of mentality that such royalty members or politicians will have if they continue to hold such high positions in sports association. They considered that it's a total humiliation if you resign, admitting that you were the party to be blamed and their ego is too high to accept such resignation as a way out. He had been holding that President post for the last 23 years......can you believe that? And yet, still wants to hold on to it. That was almost the same time we, Malaysia, last qualified for any major football competition.

Colleagues reading the newspaper statement by the Sultan of Pahang really laughed out. Most were frustrated with the display by the national football team. And the Sultan of Pahang, aged 77 now, could be going a bit senile with the public outcry/pressure. He even called for an "overhaul" of the association and conduct an inquiry into the national team's performance.

What inquiry? Everyone knew about the problems except him. Please stop the play acting and just quit will you! There's nothing to inquire about when the players selected were already the best as chosen from the local league. The issue is not the players.

For once, I will stand by a gahmen minister and that's the Sports Minister, Datuk Seri Azalina Othman Said. She quoted the following:-

* The state FAs must look at themselves in the mirror because the FAM can set the policies but if not carried out or implemented by the states, then they are also to be blamed.

* Some state FA heads or officials have been holding on to their posts for too long without any significant contribution towards the development of football in the country and they should make way for new energetic young professionals.

First, overhaul the football association by resigning en bloc especially the royalty members and politicians if you guys really care for the national football team. It makes no difference whether there is a management team or not for the next few months. My 2 cents!
Tags: Sports, Football, Soccer, Malaysia, Sultan of Pahang, Football Association of Malaysia, FAM, Azalina Othman Said, Sports Minister, Ibrahim Saad, Khairy Jamaluddin

How to Fix a Jammed HP Printer

Friends who knew I have a blog have contributed a lot to my postings on various subjects. For instance, instructions to fix a HP printer.

Firstly, shooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuut for H E L P ! ! !
Then call everyone in your office to ask whether they knew how to fix a jammed printer.
Being a nice guy, I would have offered my help if I was there. Definitely, there would be some ladies who wouldn't mind helping too.

BUT...... when the colleagues arrrived at her place.........almost everyone had second thoughts. It's not that the printer was beyond repair but.. but.. but.. a mouse got stucked in printer catridge.

Friend said "He's not dead but he's sure stuck. We do end up getting him out and letting him loose for those of you that are mouse lovers. How would you like to get to work and find this problem? LOL, it's NOT hilarious!"
I'm only thinking what if a lady colleague of mine had taken this catridge out and saw that tiny guy. That catridge would have been flung faaaaaaaaaar away and am real sure that it would break the national discus throwing record too.

Tags: Hewlett Packard, Hewlett Packard Printer, Printer, HP LaserJet, HP, Mouse

Come Apart and Rest A While

According to tradition, the apostle John had a hobby raising pigeons. On one occasion a fellow church leader who was returning from a hunting trip stopped by John's place and found him playing with one of his birds and gently corrected him for wasting his time.

John, noticing his friend's hunting bow, said that the string was loose whereupon the man replied, "Yes, I always loosen the string of my bow when it's not in use. If it stayed tight, it would lose its resilience and fail me in the hunt."

"And I am now relaxing the bow of my mind," said John, "so that I may be better able to shoot the arrows of divine truth."

Work is important. We need to eat and we need to take care of our family, but over-busyness can be a curse. Without sufficient rest and relaxation we will eventually lose our health and not be able to work efficiently. And without taking time to nurture and be nurtured in loving relationships, life becomes empty and meaningless.

We need to follow the advice of Jesus when he said to his disciples, "Come apart and rest a while." Or as somebody else put it, "Come apart and rest a while before you come apart."
~ Author Unknown ~
Tags: Inspiration, Thoughts, Christianity

State of Malaysian Football

I still could recall my numerous trips to Merdeka Stadium, watching and supporting the Selangor state team or even Malaysia in those Merdeka Cup tournaments. How proud was I of the teams I had supported.

Well, gone were the days of those memorable wins over South Korea and Japan. Now this 2 nations have taken the world by storm even with their own local leagues respectively.

Minnows like Philippines, Laos and Vietnam were whipping boys for Malaysia in the yesteryears but it's a total different story nowadays. Today, these 3 teams stand an equal chance of beating Malaysia on their good days. Vietnam, even though football league is corrupted internally, is well above Malaysia's standards.

Why? It will be hard as long as Malaysia do not revamp how their football teams were being managed. Not that I knew lots about it but the fact where royalty members and chief ministers holding on to the highly ranked positions is good enough. What the heck do they know about football? All they care about is their own ego. Do you see any British royal family members holding any post in the English FA or in any of the English football clubs? They should as they are world class but they didn't.

What developments did our royalty members/chief ministers brought for Malaysian football after all these years and that too, dumping hundreds of millions into it and the results were getting trashed by China (5-1) - China hammer co-hosts Malaysia and Uzbekistan (5-0) Uzbeks trounce sorry Malaysia in the on-going AFC Asian Cup 2007. Another trashing by Iran in the last group match? The headline could be "Iran was more at home than Malaysia".

As long as the football management was not done professionally, Malaysia will continue to drop down the world rankings. Who bothers anyway even if it goes up. Rumours surfaced that even the New Economic Policy played a part for the downfall of Malaysian football. What? How is that so? Well, by limiting the participation of certain race or ensuring a certain percentage for a particular race was there at all times. This is not football !!!!

If you are asking where does Malaysia's football future lies ahead then that's the wrong question to ask. You should ask "When are we getting professional football management back into the system?"

A friend in the local football management once told me, that the main reason for those royalty members/chief ministers helming top football management positions was because they were able to source for sponsorships easily. Meaning to say, the rest of the management teams were not doing their work at all for having to rely on only the top person to source such sponsorships.

The Football Association of Malaysia's Deputy President, the son of the Sultan of Pahang, has tendered his resignation due to Malaysia's poor results in the Asian Cup. Would say that he should have tendered donkey years ago as Malaysian football was in doldrums all these years, not recently.

I'm waiting for his father (Sultan of Pahang) to do the same, resign as President of FAM. He has been holding this position for decades. Please do justice to the state of our Malaysian football. And also from the state teams please, each and everyone of you royal family members and chief ministers. It's the same scenario for all the sports association in Malaysia.

This blog posting may not be read by the people concerned and FAM won't be bothered at all. But generally out there, who's talking about it during chit chats or while lepaking at mamak stalls. For that matter, some people who have received free tickets from sponsors, were not even bothered to go for those matches especially when it involved the national team. As for those who went, they were there to see how China whacked Malaysia instead of supporting Malaysia (hehehe....they were not bookies in knowing that China will win but everyone could have guessed the result, only the scoreline).

Malaysia still Boleh?
Tags: Sports, Football, Soccer, Malaysia, Sultan of Pahang, Football Association of Malaysia, FAM, Asian Cup, English FA

Benefits of Night Classes

Ah Beng went to take night courses with the reasoning in future can get promotion or better job. During work, Ah Beng likes to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.

Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses for 3 months already, next week is the exam.

• Ah Seng: Oh... Good luck ah.
• Then Ah Beng started show off...
• Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?
• Ah Seng: Don't know
• Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876, see... if you take night courses, you would know this.
• Ah Seng: ........................ *speechless*

The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...

• Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
• Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?
• Ah Beng: No! He's the author of "Confessions", nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night courses, you would know this.
• Ah Seng: ......................... *speechless + frustrated*

The next day, once again...

• Ah Beng: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
• Ah Seng: Your gay partner?
• Ah Beng: Choiii!!! If you don't know don't simply answer la. He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
• Ah Seng: ....................... *speechless + frustrated + irritated

This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask Ah Beng...

• Ah Seng: Eh... Do you know who is Ah Kaw?
• Ah Beng: Errrr... No!
• Ah Seng: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!
• Ah Beng: ........................ *fainted*

Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Night Class, Graham Bell, Jean Jacques Rousseau, Alexander Dumas, Ah Beng

Michelin's Tennis Shoes

Michelin - famous for its tyres manufactured for cars and especially those in Formula 1. Michelin has now embarked on a new venture where they transferred their technology in motor racing know-how into a revolutionary sole for tennis shoe. This was in collaboration with Babolat, the world leader in competition rackets and racket stringing.

Andy Roddick, the USA tennis player, has been wearing this newly designed shoes since Jan 2007, named Babolat Propulse.

The uniqueness of the tennis shoes:-
The sole is equipped with the OCS (Optimized Cell System) technology originally designed by Michelin for the World Rally Championships (WRC). The blend of rubber offers 40% greater resistance to abrasion and thermo-abrasion than other shoes on the market (according to tests carried out in March 2006 by an independent laboratory, the Centre Technique de la Chaussure, which compared the Propulse to a sample group of shoes in the same price range). The oblong-shaped tread of the sole improves slowing down, acceleration and sliding, just as for a racing car! The sole's curved geometry and the variation of its ridges and hollows prevent the appearance of cracks and make it possible to adapt grip to the type of surface of play, thus varying the sole's grip according to whether the player is on hard, dry or slippery ground. Babolat, for its part, has combined this special formulation of rubber with Exact Pro technology, a system of dynamic propulsion located beneath the forefoot, which optimises lateral movements when running.
Tags: Michelin, Michelin Tyre, Babolat, Babolat Propulse, Tennis Shoes, Andy Roddick

Breathing in Polluted Air

I still do exercise regularly but did stop jogging due to the polluted air. People are still jogging around my housing area. Why did I stop? Upon reading "Air pollution holds risks for athletes who exercise outdoors - IHT", I fully agree with it.

Did hear from health concious people that we should jog right early in the morning. Oh no. I like to sleep a lot and waking up at 6am is definitely way too hard. Why can't we jog in the evening? They said that the dust or dirt would settling down and thus we would be breathing it in. Is the air fresher and cleaner in the wee hours of morning? Air pollution is one of the major concern.

Maybe that was the reason why there were so many fitness centres mushrooming in Kuala Lumpur. People tend to exercise indoor to lessen inhaling the polluted air. Received a call yesterday from California Fitness in Mid Valley that I could join them for a 14 days free trial. When should I start? There is always this thought of joining a gym but California Fitness is still a bit inconvenient. But somehow there is a bad report from a member within.

I have got choices as well in choosing a fitness centre. At my office building, there are Gold's Gym in Plaza Ampang and Clark Hatch in Crown Princess Hotel. A few of my colleagues would drop in for their gym routines at 7.30am before reporting at work by 8.30am. Some would go after work.

There is a gym room in my condo compound but the equipments are not sufficient/complete. Another fitness centre within walking distance from the condo, Impressive Fitness, looks quite impressive. Buy my own weights?

Really want to look fit. Meantime, only way of keeping fit is to swim regularly at the condo pool.
Tags: Fitness Centre, California Fitness, Impressive Fitness, Air Pollution, Jogging, Exercise, Health, Gym, Swim, Fit, Clark Hatch, Gold's Gym