Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter." With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines.
The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man. God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only, one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, God, St Peter, Women Domination
Friday, March 07, 2008
I am a Polling and Counting Agent in GE12
With all the rubbish going on in the political arena, I might as well walk the talk rather than just talking about the injustice, biasness, unfairness and so forth at a mamak stall only.
I'm now a polling agent plus a counting agent for the coming 12th General Election ("GE12"). Just want to be a part of my nation's general election and get to experience the election fever. In each polling place, normally a school or educational institution, various classrooms are being used. And in each respective classroom, there would be a number of people in it, monitoring and ensuring the polling goes on smoothly.
There would be a Election Commission clerk/officer who would check your identity card against a name list. Upon checking, a voter would be given a ballot paper and move on to the ballot box. Meanwhile, me being a polling agent would need to cross check this voter's name on my copy of name list. I'll be seated together with the polling agent from ........ ???? Barisan Nasional of course. I'm the polling agent representing DAP for Seputeh parliamentary area. Another person in the room would be the Election Commission's Returning Officer who would have the last say in any disputes (wow, there are many kinds of objections/disputes that I could raise up with the Returning Offier if I suspect anything on a particular voter from the point of handing over the identity card till the exit by the voter).
Our head told us that we will be seated with BN's representative who would be doing the same thing as me. Our enemy? hehehehhehehehehe...... he said you better be friendly with the other rep as that would be the person that you would be facing the whole day, from the start of polling time till closing - meaning 8am to 5pm.
Moreover, if you need to go to the toilet, you would require the other rep to inform you which voter's name had been called so that you could cross out that name too. Our head said you should do otherwise when the other rep needs to go to the toilet. Don't lah say "Sorry, who asked you to go to toilet?" and left the other rep stranded.......... hahahahaha. We are supposed to be professional polling agent so need to act as one too even though it's from another political party.
Interesting part would be the counting time. We need to monitor whether there were any spoilt votes or properly done votes. There would be some funny ballot papers where various markings would be marked, crossed, ticked, with numbers, names & other words may appear. And we really laughed over those samples.
Need to report at a school in Overseas Union Garden (forgotten the name but I knew which school they were referring to). Can't get a place at my place of stay/voting place as I registered quite late. Never mind, it's only about 5 minutes or so from my area. A friend of mine, a polling agent too, would be on morning duty only and would replace me temporary so that I could go back to vote first before returning to resume my duty.
Would be a long day but a day where we need to open our ears and eyes realy wide. Can't afford not to pay attention.
As for all Malaysians, happy voting and vote wisely!
Another blogger, that blogs for positive change, put this picture to show where the polling agents would be seated.
Tags: Polling Agent, Counting Agent, Election Commission, Overseas Union Garden, 12th General Election, Barisan Nasional, DAP
I'm now a polling agent plus a counting agent for the coming 12th General Election ("GE12"). Just want to be a part of my nation's general election and get to experience the election fever. In each polling place, normally a school or educational institution, various classrooms are being used. And in each respective classroom, there would be a number of people in it, monitoring and ensuring the polling goes on smoothly.
There would be a Election Commission clerk/officer who would check your identity card against a name list. Upon checking, a voter would be given a ballot paper and move on to the ballot box. Meanwhile, me being a polling agent would need to cross check this voter's name on my copy of name list. I'll be seated together with the polling agent from ........ ???? Barisan Nasional of course. I'm the polling agent representing DAP for Seputeh parliamentary area. Another person in the room would be the Election Commission's Returning Officer who would have the last say in any disputes (wow, there are many kinds of objections/disputes that I could raise up with the Returning Offier if I suspect anything on a particular voter from the point of handing over the identity card till the exit by the voter).
Our head told us that we will be seated with BN's representative who would be doing the same thing as me. Our enemy? hehehehhehehehehe...... he said you better be friendly with the other rep as that would be the person that you would be facing the whole day, from the start of polling time till closing - meaning 8am to 5pm.
Moreover, if you need to go to the toilet, you would require the other rep to inform you which voter's name had been called so that you could cross out that name too. Our head said you should do otherwise when the other rep needs to go to the toilet. Don't lah say "Sorry, who asked you to go to toilet?" and left the other rep stranded.......... hahahahaha. We are supposed to be professional polling agent so need to act as one too even though it's from another political party.
Interesting part would be the counting time. We need to monitor whether there were any spoilt votes or properly done votes. There would be some funny ballot papers where various markings would be marked, crossed, ticked, with numbers, names & other words may appear. And we really laughed over those samples.
Need to report at a school in Overseas Union Garden (forgotten the name but I knew which school they were referring to). Can't get a place at my place of stay/voting place as I registered quite late. Never mind, it's only about 5 minutes or so from my area. A friend of mine, a polling agent too, would be on morning duty only and would replace me temporary so that I could go back to vote first before returning to resume my duty.
Would be a long day but a day where we need to open our ears and eyes realy wide. Can't afford not to pay attention.
As for all Malaysians, happy voting and vote wisely!
Another blogger, that blogs for positive change, put this picture to show where the polling agents would be seated.Tags: Polling Agent, Counting Agent, Election Commission, Overseas Union Garden, 12th General Election, Barisan Nasional, DAP
Thursday, March 06, 2008
It's Started...
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!" The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Ten minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts!" She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!"
The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore..."
The man sighs and says, "It's started..."
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Beer
Ten minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts!" She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!"
The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore..."
The man sighs and says, "It's started..."
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Beer
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Malaysia: Citizens Denied a Fair Vote - HRW
With the latest decision by Election Commission on the non-usage of indelible ink during the polling day on 8 March 2008, this piece of news has flown round the world by now and became a laughing stock in the international community. Maybe the present caretaker gahmen couldn't care less since they are the caretaker only.
Bias in Electoral Process Favors Ruling Coalition in March 8 Poll - Human Rights Watch
(New York, March 5, 2008) – Government restraints on expression, assembly and access to state media will deny Malaysians a fair vote in the March 8 general elections, Human Rights Watch said today.
The authorities’ manipulation of the electoral process appears aimed to ensure that the ruling coalition maintains its two-thirds parliamentary majority. “Once again, elections in Malaysia are grossly unfair to the opposition,” said Elaine Pearson, deputy Asia director at Human Rights Watch. “Malaysia’s ruling coalition is too comfortable with the status quo to allow reforms that would level the playing field.” On March 8, Malaysians will vote for the national parliament. Since 1969, the ruling Barisan Nasional, a coalition consisting of 14 parties, has held a two-thirds majority in parliament, which enables it to amend the constitution at will. Opposition parties currently hold 9.6 percent of the seats in parliament.
continue.........
Tags: Election Commission, Human Rights Watch, International Community, Caretaker Government, Malaysia, Barisan Nasional
Bias in Electoral Process Favors Ruling Coalition in March 8 Poll - Human Rights Watch
(New York, March 5, 2008) – Government restraints on expression, assembly and access to state media will deny Malaysians a fair vote in the March 8 general elections, Human Rights Watch said today.
The authorities’ manipulation of the electoral process appears aimed to ensure that the ruling coalition maintains its two-thirds parliamentary majority. “Once again, elections in Malaysia are grossly unfair to the opposition,” said Elaine Pearson, deputy Asia director at Human Rights Watch. “Malaysia’s ruling coalition is too comfortable with the status quo to allow reforms that would level the playing field.” On March 8, Malaysians will vote for the national parliament. Since 1969, the ruling Barisan Nasional, a coalition consisting of 14 parties, has held a two-thirds majority in parliament, which enables it to amend the constitution at will. Opposition parties currently hold 9.6 percent of the seats in parliament.
continue.........
Tags: Election Commission, Human Rights Watch, International Community, Caretaker Government, Malaysia, Barisan Nasional
Great Singapore Search
They called it the biggest search that Singapore ever had. Much more publicity has been generated than the American Idol and all franchised Idols in various countries put together.
An Indonesian by the name of Mas Selamat Kestari, who has links to the Jemaah Islamiah, escaped after obtaining permission from prison wardens to go urine. Somehow, somewhere but actually nobody quite sure, how did he escape from a tightly secured Whitley Road Detention Centre that was meant for dangerous criminals.
As Singapore is Malaysia's neighbouring country, it's important for you to know. Who knows that you may bump into him while holidaying, working or shopping in Singapore or even in Johor Baru, Malaysia's southernmost city which is just across the border. As he was a dangerous criminal, you need to know how he looks like. We need to assist the Singaporean authorities in nabbing this terrorist.
A Singaporean blogger has made a simple 'fit your wallet' print out for your easy reference at any time. After disappearing for a number of days, he could have changed his appearance.
Somehow the first face from the right (middle row) resembles someone I knew on TV shows. Phua Chu Kang???? Hehehehehehe. This is not laughing matter as it concerns you and your neighbours' safety. Singapore gahmen is turning the whole island country upside down just for one guy.
But according to Interpol, Mas Selamat may have fled Singapore already - Mas Selamat is said to know islands well, Interpol issues worldwide alert - Star.
An Indonesian by the name of Mas Selamat Kestari, who has links to the Jemaah Islamiah, escaped after obtaining permission from prison wardens to go urine. Somehow, somewhere but actually nobody quite sure, how did he escape from a tightly secured Whitley Road Detention Centre that was meant for dangerous criminals.
As Singapore is Malaysia's neighbouring country, it's important for you to know. Who knows that you may bump into him while holidaying, working or shopping in Singapore or even in Johor Baru, Malaysia's southernmost city which is just across the border. As he was a dangerous criminal, you need to know how he looks like. We need to assist the Singaporean authorities in nabbing this terrorist.
A Singaporean blogger has made a simple 'fit your wallet' print out for your easy reference at any time. After disappearing for a number of days, he could have changed his appearance.
Somehow the first face from the right (middle row) resembles someone I knew on TV shows. Phua Chu Kang???? Hehehehehehe. This is not laughing matter as it concerns you and your neighbours' safety. Singapore gahmen is turning the whole island country upside down just for one guy.But according to Interpol, Mas Selamat may have fled Singapore already - Mas Selamat is said to know islands well, Interpol issues worldwide alert - Star.
Where is Chimpeng?
A local scenario that happened in Kuala Lumpur one fine day that would be understood by all Malaysians -
I was looking for an empty space to park my car at Bangsar when suddenly there's a knock on the glass.
"Encik ah..tanya sikit ah..itu Chimpeng mana ah..?"
"Apa?"
"Chimpeng, Chimpeng...saya sudah tanya itu guard ah.. dia ckaap sini ada satu Chimpeng...."
"Sorrylah Apek. Saya tak tau woh...Apa tempat itu Chimpeng?"
"Aiyah...itu Chimpeng balu punya..Saya mau pigi angkat wang la..."
"Tarak tau la boss. Itu kedai ka apa?Along ka?"
"Chimpeng bukan kedai ma..lu itu pun tak tau ah..? itu Chimpeng macam itu Maypeng, Public Peng, RHetB Peng...itu balu punya Peng.."
Adoi...bengap punya apek..buat aku pening je..dia actually cari *CIMB Bank*.
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, CIMB Bank
I was looking for an empty space to park my car at Bangsar when suddenly there's a knock on the glass.
"Encik ah..tanya sikit ah..itu Chimpeng mana ah..?"
"Apa?"
"Chimpeng, Chimpeng...saya sudah tanya itu guard ah.. dia ckaap sini ada satu Chimpeng...."
"Sorrylah Apek. Saya tak tau woh...Apa tempat itu Chimpeng?"
"Aiyah...itu Chimpeng balu punya..Saya mau pigi angkat wang la..."
"Tarak tau la boss. Itu kedai ka apa?Along ka?"
"Chimpeng bukan kedai ma..lu itu pun tak tau ah..? itu Chimpeng macam itu Maypeng, Public Peng, RHetB Peng...itu balu punya Peng.."
Adoi...bengap punya apek..buat aku pening je..dia actually cari *CIMB Bank*.
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, CIMB Bank
Chanel's New Bicycle
Chanel, famous for its fashion and beauty has produced a product way out of their normal goods.Fancy a branded bicycle by Chanel? This bicycle will be promoted for the coming spring/summer 2008 season.
Specifications:-
* framed in aluminium and painted black
* cover and bag in calfskin and quilted
* weight - 16.5kg
* make-up or tool pouch with interlaced chain
* two saddle bags
* one cover saddle
* one pump
* one carter to protect the bicycle chain
* built-in dynamo for headlamp
* bicycle lock, welded to the frame
* tyres are puncture-proof, with reflector strips
* anti-shock wheels with virtually warp-proof double-walled rims
* ergonomically-designed seat delivers greater comfort
* saddle rod suspended from shock absorbers
* flexible, hard-wearing roller brakes ensures no loss of braking power in wet weather
* hand-finished and assembled
* all bikes will have a serial number and will come with technical documentation
* Price - £6,200 / 8,900 euros / RM42,000 each (I can buy a car with this money)
Reading: Two Wheels Are Better Than None - Vogue UK
Tags: Chanel, Chanel Bicycle, Fashion, Spring/Summer 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Pattaya International Fireworks Festival
Pattaya is definitely firing up its presence internationally. Covid19 has hit many nations really hard and Pattaya wasn't exempted from ...
-
In 2004, Donald J. Trump bought former health care executive Abe Gosman's palace, Maison de L'Amitie , at bankruptcy auction for $4...
-
Fisherman's Express , the company that delivers the catches of the day from Alaska . There is an online fish market where you can place...
