Just For A Laugh!

Joke No. 1

A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explained, "my wife's expecting."

"Oh..." said the Officer, "I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck."
The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: "My wife's expecting."

The Officer looked surprised. "Still expecting?" he said, "Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the week-end off."

When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. "Don't tell me your wife is still expecting!" he bellowed.

"Yes sir!" said the soldier resolutely, "She's still expecting." "What in heaven is she expecting?" cried the Officer. "Me." said the soldier simply.

Joke No. 2

A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husband constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their marriage.

While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey,you know I love you, but your neverending requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the frequency of our lovemaking sessions.

Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you. "On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it. Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, "Baby, I didn't realise that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry. I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.

1. TUESDAY

2. THURSDAY

3. TODAY

4. TOMORROW

P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I am waiting for you upstairs."

Tags: Jokes, Humour, Funny, Sex

Cuckoo Over Clocks

If you are crazy over clocks or keen to have clocks that reflect your interior design, looks like some shops do have a wide range of clocks at seen at Siew Cheong (Pandan Indah/Mid Valley)

As for comtemporary designs, it could be found at the XQZT, Executive Home Store (1 Utama)

Otherwise, you could view some other designs at Homing, a gift-cum-home furnishing store (1 Utama).
Tags: Clocks, Interior Design, Mid Valley, 1 Utama

Problem Solving Flowchart

Here's one flowchart where you can use in times of problems in office. If it doesn't help, start praying for your boss then. Hopefully your boss understand.
Tags: Flowchart, Prayer, Jokes, Humour, Funny

English of Tomorrow-European Union Announcement

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
Tags: European Commission, European Union, British, English, German, Jokes, Humour, Funny, Language

Free Speech Rally in Australia

The Coalition for Free Speech in Australia maintains that the best way to develop harmony in the community is through education and urging people to get on together, not by encouraging people to make complaints against other people and organisations.
Tags: Free Speech, Australia

Hotel Bill

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-fourhours on the road, they're too tired to continue and decide to stop for a rest. They pull into a nice hotel and take a room, but they plan to sleep for only four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk that, although it's a nice hotel, the rooms are certainly not worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man and explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use. "But we didn't use them," the man complains. "Well, they are here and you could have,"explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows,"complains the man again. "Well, we have them and you could have," the Manager replies.

No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is made out only for $50."

"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300 for sleeping with my wife." "But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager. "Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and you could have."
Tags: Jokes, Humour, Funny, Hotel

The World Must Prepare For America's Recession

The odds that the US will slide into recession have risen since last month from 50 per cent to 70 per cent by my estimates. The US Federal Reserve took its foot off the brake on the economy this week when it took a pause in tightening monetary policy for the first time after 17 successive interest rate rises in spite of rising inflation. But it is too late. The Fed might have been hoping for a soft landing for the economy but instead it faces recession. The implications will be felt globally. The rest of the world will not decouple from the US economic train, as some analysts predict. When the US sneezes, the rest of the world still gets the cold.

The US recession will be triggered by three unstoppable forces: the housing slowdown; high oil prices; and higher interest rates. The US consumer, already burdened with high debt and falling real wages, will be hard hit by these shocks. (Source: ytlcommunity)

Are you ready for another recession? I have face 2 of them previously, mid 80s and end 90s. I survived. Be wise/careful with your spending and loans obtained. You may say that it's in the US only..... well, there will be a domino's effect for sure.
Tags: US Federal Reserve, Recession, Economics