Management Lessons

LESSON 1:
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff, and he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff, and he was also gone. Then the boss calmly said, "I want those two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm.
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "Always allow the bosses to speak first"

LESSON 2:
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, the company CEO said to a young executive "Listen, this is a very sensitive and important document, however as my secretary has left for the day can you make this thing work?""Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "Never assume that the boss knows everything"

LESSON 3:
An American and Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA, when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The confused Japanese replies, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese remains confused over the question, so the irritated American again yells, "What kind of -ese are you? are you a Chinese, Japanese or Vietnamese ??? To which the Japanese humbly replied, "Oh, I'm Japanese?. A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked "What kind of -key are you?". To which the frustrated American replies "What do you mean what kind of -key am I?" The Japanese replies with a smile, "Are you a Yankee, Donkee, or Monkee?"
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "Never insult anyone"
Tags: Management, Joke, Funny, Humour, Moral

Pakistan & India Comparison

General Musharaf, President of Pakistan was awoken at 4am by the telephone.
"Jannab, its the Minister of Health here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Rawalpindi has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire Pakistani supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week."
Musharaf: "What a disaster! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies-we'll be ruined!"
Minister: "We're going to have to ship some condoms in from abroad..."
Musharaf: "Afghanistan...?"
Minister: "No chance!! The tabloids will have a field day on this one!"
Musharaf: "What about India?"
Minister: "Maybe- but we don't want them to know that we are stuck. Call the Indian Prime Minister, Singh- tell him we need one million condoms; colored gold and green; ten inches long and eight inches thick! That way they'll know how big the Pakis really are!!"
Miyan Musharaf called Singh, who agreed to help the Pakis out in their hour of need. Three days later a flight arrived in Islamabad- full of boxes. A delighted Gen. Musharaf rushed out to open the boxes. He found condoms; 10 inches long; 8 inches thick, all colored green and gold. He then noticed in small writing on each and every one .........................

MADE IN INDIA
SIZE: SMALL

Tags: General Musharaf, Pakistan, India, Condom, Jokes, Funny, Humour

No Holds Barred

PM: Alright. So what should I tell the press?
Tan Sri: You can tell the press we are going to make sure that this kind of thing will never happen again.
PM: Good. I am glad that finally the police are beginning to agree with us. So they will stop this practice of beating up suspects? This is the assurance the IGP gave you?
Tan Sri: Heavens no YAB! Why would we want to do that? How else can we get the suspects to confess if we don’t beat them up?
PM: Oh, so what action are you talking about then?
Tan Sri: With immediate effect, the police are going to ban all hand-phones in the lockup. This will ensure that no more nude squats or beating videos get leaked to the public.
Tags: PM, Tan Sri, Jokes, Funny, Humour, Politics

High Profile Bloggers in Indonesia & Iran

Priyadi Iman Nurcahyo - Defence Minister of Indonesia
* Update - the real Defence Minister of Indonesia is Juwono Sudarsono. Priyadi himself updated me on this.

Mahmood Ahmadinejad - The President of Iran (wow!! available in 4 languages - Parsi, Arabic, English & French.

The above blogs are real but the best of all pranks made is a Friendster website for - Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono - The President of Indonesia.
Tags: Priyadi Iman Nurcahyo, Juwono Sudarsono, Defence Minister of Indonesia, Mahmood Ahmadinejad, President of Iran, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, President of Indonesia, Bloggers

31 Aug - International Blogging Day

Co-incidentally, 31 Aug is also known as the International Blogging Day.

Blogs that I browse through often:-
Jeff Ooi - A renowned Malaysian blogger who brings up "in-depth" Malaysian news with dozens of blog commenters leaving behind their opinions.

Lim Kit Siang - Reprensenting all the Opposition Parties in the Parliament as the Opposition Leader. Brings out controversial news on his blog.

Sarah - based in Darfur of Sudan, will write about her daily happenings with photos in her blog entitled "Pretty One Day?".

RockyBru - a journalist, somewhere between veteran and retired. Last post held in mainstream media was Executive Editor. A fellow blogger who is straightforward with their words on certain true scenarios happening in Malaysia.

Aisehman - fellow blogger who will highlight or just want readers to know what's actually happening ("behind the scene") around Malaysia.

James Wong Wing On - a former member of the 8th Parliament, former senior and award-winning journalist, writer, author & strategic analyst - being a journalist himself you will find lots of interesting write-up on various issues.
Tags: Blog, Blog Day 2006, International Blogging Day, Jeff Ooi, Lim Kit Siang, RockyBru, Aisehman, James Wong Wing On

Malaysia - 49th Independence Day

TODAY, my country of Malaysia is celebrating her 49th birthday.

A website under the name of Road to Nationhood related the milestones in achieving the Independence Day on 31 August 1957.

Everyone that I knew in Malaysia is having a public holiday but I'm stucked in my office here in Khartoum, Sudan. Well, tonight itself, staff of Malaysian companies based in Khartoum will gather at a Malaysian-owned restaurant together with the Malaysian Ambassador to Sudan to commenmorate the Independence Day. Meantime, back to work.
Tags: Malaysia, Independence Day, Road To Nationhood

Annual Tomatina Festival

People throw tomatoes at each other during the "Tomatina" festival that takes place on the last Wednesday of August in Bunol, near Valencia. Some 40,000 Spaniards (including thousands of mainly British, French and German tourists) gathered at this year annual event hurling some 100 000 kilograms (220,000 pounds) of tomatoes, one of the world's messiest festivals.

This event was believed to have begun as an argument between two carnival participants in 1945. So popular is the event, the Spanish authorities have recognised it as a "festival of international tourist interest".

Tags: Tomatina, Festival, Valencia, Spain, Tour, Travel, Carnival, Tomatoes