Problem Solving Flowchart

Here's one flowchart where you can use in times of problems in office. If it doesn't help, start praying for your boss then. Hopefully your boss understand.
Tags: Flowchart, Prayer, Jokes, Humour, Funny

English of Tomorrow-European Union Announcement

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
Tags: European Commission, European Union, British, English, German, Jokes, Humour, Funny, Language

Free Speech Rally in Australia

The Coalition for Free Speech in Australia maintains that the best way to develop harmony in the community is through education and urging people to get on together, not by encouraging people to make complaints against other people and organisations.
Tags: Free Speech, Australia

Hotel Bill

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-fourhours on the road, they're too tired to continue and decide to stop for a rest. They pull into a nice hotel and take a room, but they plan to sleep for only four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk that, although it's a nice hotel, the rooms are certainly not worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man and explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use. "But we didn't use them," the man complains. "Well, they are here and you could have,"explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows,"complains the man again. "Well, we have them and you could have," the Manager replies.

No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is made out only for $50."

"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300 for sleeping with my wife." "But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager. "Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and you could have."
Tags: Jokes, Humour, Funny, Hotel

The World Must Prepare For America's Recession

The odds that the US will slide into recession have risen since last month from 50 per cent to 70 per cent by my estimates. The US Federal Reserve took its foot off the brake on the economy this week when it took a pause in tightening monetary policy for the first time after 17 successive interest rate rises in spite of rising inflation. But it is too late. The Fed might have been hoping for a soft landing for the economy but instead it faces recession. The implications will be felt globally. The rest of the world will not decouple from the US economic train, as some analysts predict. When the US sneezes, the rest of the world still gets the cold.

The US recession will be triggered by three unstoppable forces: the housing slowdown; high oil prices; and higher interest rates. The US consumer, already burdened with high debt and falling real wages, will be hard hit by these shocks. (Source: ytlcommunity)

Are you ready for another recession? I have face 2 of them previously, mid 80s and end 90s. I survived. Be wise/careful with your spending and loans obtained. You may say that it's in the US only..... well, there will be a domino's effect for sure.
Tags: US Federal Reserve, Recession, Economics

When To Ask A Question?

Sometimes it's better to keep quiet and leave them alone as long as they are not bugging you.
Tags: Jokes, Humour, Funny

Plot To Blow Up Planes From Britain to USA

Terror plot failed and as a result hundreds of thousands of travellers around the world were left stranded following the foiling of a terrorist plot to blow up planes flying between Britain and the United States.

In UK, passengers with infants were required to taste bottles of baby milk before being allowed on British flights yesterday as security measures were ramped up due to fears of a terror plot. List of banned items for UK flights are listed herein.

Be warned: All hand luggage of passengers bound for Europe will be searched, info from Malaysia Airports Bhd. Banned items from hand luggage (but could be kept in the check-in luggage) could be the same as in UK.
Tags: Britain, USA, Travel, Terrorist