Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Michael Jackson's Dead?

News came from Santa Barbara, California — During a search for evidence at the Neverland Valley Ranch, investigators discovered a corpse that has been identified as that of Michael Jackson, Santa Barbara police officials announced Tuesday.

"Coroners have officially pronounced Michael Jackson dead. From what we can tell, he died between 18 and 20 years ago," forensic investigator Tim Holbrooke said. "We are not certain, at this time, who—or what—has been standing trial in that Santa Maria courthouse."

According to Holbrooke, Jackson's corpse was buried just inches below a stretch of the miniature-train tracks that run throughout Neverland. The largely desiccated corpse wore the remains of a red, zipper-covered leather jacket and a single glove.

"We positively identified the body as Jackson by his dental records and DNA," Holbrooke said. "But even before we conducted a single forensic test, we began to suspect that that we'd uncovered the real Michael, and that the disturbing figure claiming to be Jackson was a fake."

Holbrooke said that, although the corpse was in an advanced stage of decomposition, when investigators compared the body to early-career publicity photos of Jackson, they saw a striking resemblance in bone structure and facial features. But when they compared the body to photos taken after 1987, the resemblance was negligible.

"This discovery raises a lot of questions, but it also sheds light on a number of disturbing incidents," Holbrooke said. "Frankly, Jackson had been acting pretty strange."

Forensic experts and music critics are postulating that Jackson was dead before the release of the multi-platinum album Bad. Detectives are currently analyzing the lyrics to "Man In The Mirror" for any clues relating to a look-alike entity that many suspect murdered the youngest member of the Jackson 5 and assumed his identity.

"We believe that Neverland served as some sort of freakishly whimsical tomb constructed by Jackson's killer," Holbrooke said. "We also suspect that all of the iniquities that occurred on that ranch were the work of the imposter. I wouldn't have ever thought it possible, but we are looking at a situation where the sexual abuse of a 13-year-old cancer patient is the tip of the iceberg."

Holbrooke said that, while the living Jackson is the leading suspect in the murder investigation, he "could be another victim of some sort."

"Basically, we have no idea what type of creature we are dealing with," Holbrooke said.
A member of the investigative team that discovered Jackson's body described the experience as "otherworldly."

"As we neared the perimeter of Neverland, the dogs started whining and howling like crazy," Santa Barbara County detective Frank Poeller said. "We had to pull them into the house. When we got to Jackson's bedroom, one of them almost choked himself to death on his leash trying to get out through the window. Minutes later, the same dog led us to the corpse."

A representative from Jackson's self-created label, MJJ Productions, said he was not surprised to find out that the current Jackson is an imposter.

"When we were recording 'Heal The World' for Dangerous, I could tell something was terribly, terribly wrong," MJJ manager Luke Allard said. "Michael didn't seem like himself anymore. He'd demand bizarre food and sit for hours in a hyperbaric chamber. His appearance began to become more and more peculiar. Soon afterwards, he started wearing a mask and confiding in a chimpanzee."

"I remember thinking, 'This man has become a monster,'" Allard said. "If only I'd known how right I was."

Allard said he thinks that the imposter broke ties with Jackson's former friends and surrounded himself with children who were too young to notice the radical change.

Vanity Fair reporter Beth Pither visited Neverland in 1994.

"A strangely fearful staff member led me to Jackson, but ran off before I opened the door," Pither said. "Standing there with my hand on an ice-cold doorknob, I heard strange, unnatural sounds—leathery wings flapping, a sorrowful wail, and loud hissing. A wave of dread passed through me as I opened the door, but all I found was Michael and some kids in pajamas eating ice cream and watching 101 Dalmatians."

While their claims have not been corroborated, other Neverland visitors have reported that when when Jackson entered a room, lights flickered, faucets ran blood-red, and screams escaped from the walls.

To aid in the investigation, the FBI enlisted Dr. Richard Weingarden, a noted expert on the paranormal from UC Santa Barbara. After only two hours, Weingarden abandoned the project.
"The smell of sulfur, the decaying facial features, the bizarrely high-pitched voice—it sounds exactly like..." Weingarden said, trailing off. "I'm sure it's nothing. Not a big deal. Nothing to be terrified about, certainly. I have to go. I've got a family."

Thomas Sneddon, the prosecutor in Jackson's child-molestation lawsuit, said it remains to be seen how the shocking discovery will affect the trial.

Megan Gustafson, who left her post as president of the Akron, and Michael Jackson Fan Club after the singer was accused of molestation, offered a positive view of the grisly revelation.

"This is very disturbing news," Gustafson said. "But to be honest, it's kind of a relief too. Thriller and Off The Wall are really amazing records. Now I can pull them out of my 'ruined by child abuse' storage bin and start listening to them again."

Above article was extracted from Neverland Ranch Investigators Discover Corpse Of Real Michael Jackson - the ONION
Tags: Michael Jackson, Neverland Valley Ranch, Neverland, Santa Barbara, California, Forensic Investigator, MJJ Productions, Vanity Fair, Michael Jackson Fan Club, Santa Maria Courthouse

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Blogger baggie said...

are u sure bout this?? u mean he is REALLY dead??? as in like 20 yrs ago??? or what? I dont really understand...

24 October, 2007 15:20  
Blogger Johnny Ong said...

this news is being circulated and when i did a google search, there are some other websites detailing this too

24 October, 2007 17:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is an almost word for word reprint of an article from the onion. Which is a parody news site.

The article is a fake.

01 November, 2007 07:35  
Blogger Johnny Ong said...

sometimes u really wonder what happened to MJ's looks compared to those days. it's not getting beautiful (which he wanted) but it got worse

01 November, 2007 09:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sad that someone would make up a story like this then post it on net ....... what a bunch of LOSERS

26 June, 2009 05:52  
Blogger Maria Giusti said...

This story is brilliant.

26 June, 2009 06:18  
Anonymous Teresa said...

Now he really is dead!

26 June, 2009 06:22  
Blogger mika said...

Yes this article is worded word for word from Onion, which makes it a fake. He is dead, actually today he died from Cardiac Arrest at the age of 50.

26 June, 2009 06:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ulp! Now the imposter's kicked the bucket too!
Did TMZ report whether anyone noticed a silver bullet or a stake through the heart?

26 June, 2009 06:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


26 June, 2009 06:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

go to msn and youll find the real way michael jackson died retards

26 June, 2009 06:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is the exact word for word article that was on the onion web site. how come we have never heard anything about this on the real news. and how come the real MJ has supposevly died today from a heart attact? i don't know? i can kinda beleave it but then again it kind of far fetched to be real. i mean blood pouring from faucets and sreaming comming from the walls? i beleave in the supernatual. but this all seems too fake to me. 18 to 20 years ago and we havent heard anything about it at all. doesnt seem liget to me.

26 June, 2009 06:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a fake ya know...he actually died today of a heart attack

26 June, 2009 06:42  
Anonymous puffmatty said...

I bet he dies sometime in June 2009, just guessing...

26 June, 2009 06:53  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mj didn't die 20 yrs ago geez people. He's whole life has been crazy, insane and sick melodrama; this is a parody article. mj died today at ucla hosptial.

Its sad that he's overshadowing farrah fawcett who battled cancer and died this morning.

26 June, 2009 06:53  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

plagiarizer. this is from the onion

26 June, 2009 06:57  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok every one it is now 2009 and this website is from 2007 no it is not a true story however now he is dead he died Thursday June 25 2009

26 June, 2009 07:03  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well today he really did die.

26 June, 2009 07:36  
Blogger Cristy Burger said...


26 June, 2009 07:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow this site/article needs to be taken down following the disasterous account that happened today at 3:15 pm... The ACTUAL death of Michael Jackson, may his soul rest in peace

26 June, 2009 08:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's dead now folks!

26 June, 2009 08:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now he really is dead. June 25th, 2009. Michael was an amazing human being who never hurt anybody. RIP Michael.

26 June, 2009 08:33  
Blogger Rafael Silva Guimarães said...

Now is dead, =/

26 June, 2009 09:12  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now hes really dead.

26 June, 2009 09:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


26 June, 2009 10:10  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well now he is really dead, he died today

26 June, 2009 11:48  
Anonymous smoothcriminal said...

Share you grief over the loss of a true heroe at

26 June, 2009 14:13  
Anonymous toranda from sc said...

come on!! people will write anything. yes he was a bit strange but he was a magnificent proformer and entertainer that loved all of his fans. let him rest in peace losers! if you dont have anything nice to say than just dont say anything. 20 years ago are you fucking for real?? comeon if you believe that story your as big of an ass as the idiots that wrote it. stop judging thats not YOUR job its GODS. rest in peace michael jackson i love you and your were the king of pop and always will be.
toranda from sc

26 June, 2009 14:18  
Anonymous Maddi said...

I cant believe someone would waste their time writing absolute bull, just to seek attention, when today we see Michael really dead! Be ashamed..

26 June, 2009 14:59  
Blogger Ali said...

RIP Michael , Your memory will be always in our hearts...

26 June, 2009 15:59  
Blogger Unknown said...

whether it's true that he died like 2 decades ago or just today.. Michael Jackson is still a LEGEND.. nobody could criticize & make false stories about that.. leave the guy alone.. let him be in peace...

26 June, 2009 18:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow the guy died June 25th, 2009. this is bull shit! leave the poor guy alone. my god! you are all stupid if you beleive this bull shit! he died of cardiac arrest. that is the truth get a fucking grip on yourself! it not true! he was a legend! RIP mike!

26 June, 2009 18:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anyone who rips the piss out of someone dying at 50 who has young kids will see their parents die horrible deaths before 2010, its the Jacko curse...

26 June, 2009 18:35  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok this article is number 1 from the onion website. The Onion is a satirical news website. for those of you who do not understand this, satire is basically making fun of something-in this case Michael Jackson and his numerous plastic surgeries.
number 2 the original article was published in 2005, this idiot plagiarized it 2 years later.
number 3 yes he did officially died yesterday but do 700 people need to continuously post it? we all know, thank you for the update i mean it is on practically every news station.
just pay him some respect--he was the king of pop, the person who paved the way for the music we listen to today. stop making fun of him and pray for his family and loved ones at this time

26 June, 2009 19:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Elvis is dead too

26 June, 2009 21:07  
Blogger funncrazymommy0208 said...

michael was an amazing person he was a grat singer and dancer he willbe in my heart forever i love you michael RIP love pearl

26 June, 2009 21:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

check this out

26 June, 2009 22:55  
Anonymous kaitlyn said...

this is fake he died yesterday thursday june 25 at 6:25pm of cardiac arrest at age 50

26 June, 2009 23:33  
Blogger ForgetMeNot123 said...

This is soooooooo fake, i mean he died LAST night not 20 years ago

26 June, 2009 23:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


27 June, 2009 01:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHOA! Carlos Mencia comes to blogs....come up with your own stuff.

27 June, 2009 03:37  
Anonymous Grant Master said...

McDonald?s® to Launch New Menu Items
and advertising campaign
to honor the legacy of Michael Jackson


OAK BROOK, Ill. (June 26, 2009) ? McDonald?s® today announced new
menu items to honor the legacy of Michael Jackson, who passed away on
June 25, 2009.

McDonalds® customers will soon have the choice of purchasing new menu
items with external packaging bearing Michael Jackson's likeness. In
addition, a new advertising campaign has been developed and will push
to various advertising channels, including television, radio, and
print media.

McDonald's® CEO, Jim Skinner--an admitted superfan of Michael Jackson
who once had the pleasure of meeting him--issued a separate statement
to the media saying, "Michael's sudden passing is not only a shock to
me as a fan... but a shock to all fans, not only in the U.S., but
indeed the World. Of course, it also lands a shock to the McDonald's®
family, and we plan to find a way to show our support for the King of
Pop's legacy."

Shortly thereafter, Mr. Skinner met with McDonalds® Board of Directors
after expedited meetings with public relations company AEC Press
United National, Inc. (Symbol: AEC) and Coca-Cola (Symbol: KO) to seek
approval on the impromptu Michael Jackson campaign, which was
unanimously approved.

After solid first quarter performance, McDonalds® hopes to continue
improving in same store sales and will leverage its position to
release promotional items bearing Michael Jackson's likeness due to
previous licensing deals which were struck a decade ago, but have not

McDonalds® is still working with AEC to develop additional menu items.

Currently announced menu items include:

- Coca-Cola® products will be available in a limited edition two
hundred and fifty-six ounce "King of Pop" buckets

- A new salad featuring "Neverland Ranch Sauce"

- Happy Meals® featuring packaging bearing Michael Jackson concert
scenes, featuring the usual food options and a choice of Apple,
Orange, or Jesus Juice

- A variation on McDonald's® classic Big Mac® sandwich named the
"Michael Jackson Limited Edition Big Mac®," prepared from carefully
aged food product for a robust and tangy flavor. Although the
toppings have not been announced, the burger will consist of a fifty
year old piece of meat between two eight year old buns

The products will be available at McDonalds® beginning August 29,
2009, which will coinside with what would be the 51st birthday of
Michael Jackson.


For media inquiries, contact:

Grant Master
AEC Press United National, Inc.
Chicago, IL
630-608-7666, extension #1

© 2009 McDonald?s

27 June, 2009 03:54  
Blogger Godschild said...

Some people man. It boggles my ,mind how ignorant some people are, they believe nonsense over common sense.I highly doubt that Katherine (MJ's mom) would go along with a 20 year hoax about her son. She would not have any part of that. MJ rest in peace.

27 June, 2009 12:26  
Blogger kunthanrajan said...

Your memory will be always in our hearts...BYE BYE BYE MJ


27 June, 2009 13:09  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! Lik,...OMG!!!1!!

Uh! Now I know the TRUTH! the Truth!

Wat a revilashine! wehn did it hapen?

god! i hat the wurd things! 6 time befor i get it writgt!

28 June, 2009 00:59  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank god this creature is finally gone. The world is a better place not that he is gone....And most good parents would agree. What he has done to kids is something he should go to hell for.

28 June, 2009 05:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RIP MiCHAEL ! loved and forever missed . fyi MJ wouldnt and couldnt ever hurt a child in anyway . he was jus a kid in the body of an adult , those people took advantage of how kind and giving he was . shame on yu ppl saying he deserves to go to hell . all he tried to do was make the world a better place and he will live FOREVER thru his music . Michael loved kids and kids loved him . HEAVENS got another angel now . Love yu MJ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28 June, 2009 13:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thsi is all kinda possible as he did have a dramatic change in looks but I doubt that it's real, I think he died at 22:26, on the 25th June 2009.

28 June, 2009 16:57  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jackson Will now be known as the Angel of pop.

28 June, 2009 17:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I think was the funniest is people actually believing this obvious spoof article as fair dinkum. How stupid can you be?

29 June, 2009 03:45  
Anonymous Louise :) said...

OMG this article is stupid!!!
Michael Jackson is a legend!
How dare they say 'this creature' these ppl make me sick
love louise xxxx

29 June, 2009 04:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

02 July, 2009 21:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice photoshop!

Pretty sick to.

Only real stupid people will believe this.

Nice try.

05 July, 2009 17:45  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hay today morning only i saw this as an email. im little bit starting to believe this as i listening to some of the songs which came after this time frame. now i was listening to his song "will you be there for you" i felt like he is tryin to tell something about that he hiding from us.

it says "When I lost will you find me?" i guess the new MJ is also a fan of the real Mj. so he feel the lost of his Star. and he trys to be MJ and he is tryin to feel what will Mj feel if he is looking at us.

and it also says ..

" But they told me
A man should be faithful
And walk when not able
And fight 'till the end
But i'm only human "

in this theres some thing i can feel but i cant explain in words.

what do you feel.....

09 July, 2009 13:02  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bullshit xD this website is a fake just a nether roomer people can spred about Michael Jackson you people really need to get a life

16 July, 2009 07:12  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's so sad when some idiots created bull story abt MJ death and make fun of it? Can you believe that 18-20 years corpse still have skin or flashes intact and not the bones? My goodness.. Onion's blog or whoever involved doing these nonsense need to go for better 'super impose' classes specialize in corpse pictures. You guys are really mad & stupidos!! Kinde pupils can tell the difference, wic is fake or not..!

30 July, 2009 03:12  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sad he's dead now :'(

22 August, 2009 20:38  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol he's no deed he will be inhiding!! its all been staged even his so called bairn greeting at memorial at staples!!how false that was omg people wake up he must have thought to hell we the 50 night concerts.he's hiding in the caves at arbroath cliffs in scotland!! yeah he was a great dancer and singer but come on can any of u ppl see him doing or managing it !!!! i dont!!!!

28 August, 2009 04:23  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg idiots

28 August, 2009 04:25  

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