A Catholic Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well,that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "Well brothers, you know that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I found me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took hold of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, up another and down another until we came to a creek. So I quick dunked him and baptised his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Catholic Priest, Pentecostal Preacher, Rabbi, Bear, Catechism, Sprinkle Holy Water, Baptise, Circumcision
Friday, January 11, 2008
Roundabout in United Kingdom
Imagine you are driving in England and you are already confused enough driving on the left side. Then you see this sign and you ask yourself "what's gonna happen here?"All of a sudden there it is .... The magic roundabout!
In the middle, the direction is reversed. Those people in the road planning department is crazy. No wonder that God put them on an island.
Supposedly there are 3 or 4 of these in United Kingdom. In Swindon, London and Cardiff.Tags: United Kingdom, Swindon, London, Cardiff, Roundabout, Weird
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
The Ah Kau Story
Ah Kau is a guy who sells newspaper every morning next to your apartment, and you are one of his daily regular customers. Before dashing off to your office every day, you will go to his small stall and buy The Star newspaper. Wearing a newly pressed shirt, a tie, and a pair of Clarks shoes, you grab a copy of The Star, pay RM1.20 and exchange smiles with Ah Kau and greet him.
"Apa macam Ah Kau ini hari? Bisnes ada baik?" (How are you today? Is your business good?)
The normal greeting like you do every day. Yes, Ah Kau doesn't speak English. He speaks Chinese and knows a little bit of Malay. He speaks a little bit of Malay but with a very thick Chinese accent.
"Biasa saja! ini bisnes aa, kadang kadang baik, kadang kadang tada untung." (Normal only! This business, sometimes good, sometimes no profit)
"Biasalah hidup. Kadang kadang ok, kadang kadang tak ok." (Normal life lah. Sometimes ok, sometimes not ok)
You give Ah Kau a pat on the back. You smile and walk away and get into your car. You start the engine and start driving to your office, a multinational semiconductor company located in a premier industrial area. You are a young and promising finance executive and the future looks bright for you.
A year goes by and things look pretty good on the track. You decide to marry your fiance and have your new wife moves in to your place. Both of you feel happy because you can save more money as the two of you will be sharing one apartment and can live as one.
Ah Kau is still selling the newspaper as usual. Sometimes in the morning your wife gets the newspaper from Ah Kau instead of you. A year later a child comes along, and you decide to buy and move into a newly developed condominium just across the street. This place is bigger so it will be perfectly fit for the 3 of you. But since both of you are working, you decide to get a maid to take of the household and your kid.
By this time you're offered a managerial job from another multinational; the remuneration package offered is much better in terms of the pay, contractual bonus, medical benefits, ESOS scheme and a few others which make it impossible for you to decline. So you join this company happily.
You get busier. You realize that you spend less and less time with your family. When your department is busy preparing for the next audit, your working hours become more and more ridiculous. Any internal issues arising in the office means you'll be stuck in the office until 8 or 9 pm. Sometimes, during the weekend, you'll spend your time in your office, buried under paper works and documentation's, instead of taking your family for a walk in the park.
One morning, on your way to get your copy of The Star, you realized that Ah Kau is no longer in his stall. So is his rundown motorbike. Instead, there's another young Chinese guy at the stall.
"What happen to Ah Kau?" You ask out of curiosity. "Oh, he is still around, but he is no longer taking care of this stall as he has opened up a new grocery shop down town. I am running this newspaper stall for him." "Ok." you smile. You feel happy for Ah Kau. At last he manages to improve his life.
Your normal life continues. A year passes by and at the end of your company's fiscal year, you're rewarded for your effort with a 5 months bonus pay-out by your employer. Wow. Now that is a very handsome reward. You feel your effort has been equally compensated. To celebrate, you decide that it's time to trade your 5-year old Proton Wira to the latest Honda Civic model. It won't be much a problem to you to get a loan scheme from the bank as your pay slip will provide you an easy gateway to access financial help from any bank.
One day, the hardest reality of life hits you right on the face. The company that you've been working for years announces that they're moving their business to China for cost and competitive reason and has asked you to find a job somewhere else.
"What?" You scream out cold. "I got a lot of liabilities on the card! Who's gonna pay for my mortgage? My car? My credit card? My gym fees? My bills?" You yell like there's no way out.
This is the first time you feel let down by your own employer. All your hard work seem to go up on the smoke. You feel sick. You now hate your company. On the way home, you stopped by at a mamak restaurant for a cup of teh tarik while pondering about your future. Alone.
Suddenly you saw this new, shiny BMW 3 series being parked nearby. And to your surprise, it was Ah Kau. Yes, Ah Kau who used to sell newspapers nearby your old apartment. "What happened to old Ah Kau?" You whisper to yourself.
Ah Kau still recognizes you, and sit next to you, and shared his story. To make it short, Ah Kau had accumulated his money from selling newspapers to open more stalls, one after another. Every new stall is run by his workers so that he focused on opening more and more stalls, which in turn give him more and more money.
Over the years, he had accumulated enough cash to open up new grocery store while at the same time buying more assets to grow his wealth. And his current wealth and success is achieved without any loan or financial help from banks and other financial institutions.
There you go. That's the story. While Ah Kau is set to become financially free, you're back to where you're started before. Ground zero. Before leaving, Ah Kau gives you a familiar quote, "Biasalah hidup. Kadang kadang ok, kadang kadang tak ok."
He gives you a pat on the back and walks away.
In reality, if you're observant enough, there are a lot of Ah Kaus out there, that you will see every day and every where you go. The names are different, but inside them is every character of Ah Kau. They might be Uncle Dorai, Ah Chong, Pak Leman, Makcik Gemuk, Pak Man nasi lemak or others.
They look to be struggling on the surface, but if you look carefully and compare with you life, many of them are living with little or no liabilities. They ride an old kapcai bike. They live in an old rundown house. They don't have credit card to swipe. They wear a 10-year old shirt and short. No new, shiny Toyota Harrier. In short, their living means are far below than yours.
But what you don't realize is that many of them can save more money than yours, and over the years generate enough money to expand their business, or invest in properties. Their asset columns are much thicker than that of yours.
So the next time you see Ah Kaus, never look down on them, and never under estimate them. Or else you're up for a harsh reality lesson.
After reading the above, is your life a happening life and just a normal life hoping for the best to come.
Tags: Inspiration, Ah Kau
"Apa macam Ah Kau ini hari? Bisnes ada baik?" (How are you today? Is your business good?)
The normal greeting like you do every day. Yes, Ah Kau doesn't speak English. He speaks Chinese and knows a little bit of Malay. He speaks a little bit of Malay but with a very thick Chinese accent.
"Biasa saja! ini bisnes aa, kadang kadang baik, kadang kadang tada untung." (Normal only! This business, sometimes good, sometimes no profit)
"Biasalah hidup. Kadang kadang ok, kadang kadang tak ok." (Normal life lah. Sometimes ok, sometimes not ok)
You give Ah Kau a pat on the back. You smile and walk away and get into your car. You start the engine and start driving to your office, a multinational semiconductor company located in a premier industrial area. You are a young and promising finance executive and the future looks bright for you.
A year goes by and things look pretty good on the track. You decide to marry your fiance and have your new wife moves in to your place. Both of you feel happy because you can save more money as the two of you will be sharing one apartment and can live as one.
Ah Kau is still selling the newspaper as usual. Sometimes in the morning your wife gets the newspaper from Ah Kau instead of you. A year later a child comes along, and you decide to buy and move into a newly developed condominium just across the street. This place is bigger so it will be perfectly fit for the 3 of you. But since both of you are working, you decide to get a maid to take of the household and your kid.
By this time you're offered a managerial job from another multinational; the remuneration package offered is much better in terms of the pay, contractual bonus, medical benefits, ESOS scheme and a few others which make it impossible for you to decline. So you join this company happily.
You get busier. You realize that you spend less and less time with your family. When your department is busy preparing for the next audit, your working hours become more and more ridiculous. Any internal issues arising in the office means you'll be stuck in the office until 8 or 9 pm. Sometimes, during the weekend, you'll spend your time in your office, buried under paper works and documentation's, instead of taking your family for a walk in the park.
One morning, on your way to get your copy of The Star, you realized that Ah Kau is no longer in his stall. So is his rundown motorbike. Instead, there's another young Chinese guy at the stall.
"What happen to Ah Kau?" You ask out of curiosity. "Oh, he is still around, but he is no longer taking care of this stall as he has opened up a new grocery shop down town. I am running this newspaper stall for him." "Ok." you smile. You feel happy for Ah Kau. At last he manages to improve his life.
Your normal life continues. A year passes by and at the end of your company's fiscal year, you're rewarded for your effort with a 5 months bonus pay-out by your employer. Wow. Now that is a very handsome reward. You feel your effort has been equally compensated. To celebrate, you decide that it's time to trade your 5-year old Proton Wira to the latest Honda Civic model. It won't be much a problem to you to get a loan scheme from the bank as your pay slip will provide you an easy gateway to access financial help from any bank.
One day, the hardest reality of life hits you right on the face. The company that you've been working for years announces that they're moving their business to China for cost and competitive reason and has asked you to find a job somewhere else.
"What?" You scream out cold. "I got a lot of liabilities on the card! Who's gonna pay for my mortgage? My car? My credit card? My gym fees? My bills?" You yell like there's no way out.
This is the first time you feel let down by your own employer. All your hard work seem to go up on the smoke. You feel sick. You now hate your company. On the way home, you stopped by at a mamak restaurant for a cup of teh tarik while pondering about your future. Alone.
Suddenly you saw this new, shiny BMW 3 series being parked nearby. And to your surprise, it was Ah Kau. Yes, Ah Kau who used to sell newspapers nearby your old apartment. "What happened to old Ah Kau?" You whisper to yourself.
Ah Kau still recognizes you, and sit next to you, and shared his story. To make it short, Ah Kau had accumulated his money from selling newspapers to open more stalls, one after another. Every new stall is run by his workers so that he focused on opening more and more stalls, which in turn give him more and more money.
Over the years, he had accumulated enough cash to open up new grocery store while at the same time buying more assets to grow his wealth. And his current wealth and success is achieved without any loan or financial help from banks and other financial institutions.
There you go. That's the story. While Ah Kau is set to become financially free, you're back to where you're started before. Ground zero. Before leaving, Ah Kau gives you a familiar quote, "Biasalah hidup. Kadang kadang ok, kadang kadang tak ok."
He gives you a pat on the back and walks away.
In reality, if you're observant enough, there are a lot of Ah Kaus out there, that you will see every day and every where you go. The names are different, but inside them is every character of Ah Kau. They might be Uncle Dorai, Ah Chong, Pak Leman, Makcik Gemuk, Pak Man nasi lemak or others.
They look to be struggling on the surface, but if you look carefully and compare with you life, many of them are living with little or no liabilities. They ride an old kapcai bike. They live in an old rundown house. They don't have credit card to swipe. They wear a 10-year old shirt and short. No new, shiny Toyota Harrier. In short, their living means are far below than yours.
But what you don't realize is that many of them can save more money than yours, and over the years generate enough money to expand their business, or invest in properties. Their asset columns are much thicker than that of yours.
So the next time you see Ah Kaus, never look down on them, and never under estimate them. Or else you're up for a harsh reality lesson.
After reading the above, is your life a happening life and just a normal life hoping for the best to come.
Tags: Inspiration, Ah Kau
Country Flooded With Cooking Oil
Only yesterday, the Malaysian government has to effect the rationing of cooking oil where each person was allowed to purchase 5kg of cooking oil only.
But it was widely published in today's local newspapers that the government would be flooding the whole Malaysia with cooking oil.
Flood in what sense? Quantity wise? 70,000 tons of cooking oil would be made available and with that 'flooding', the rationing of cooking oil has been lifted with immediate effect. The rationing lasted only one day.
Now, you tell me - where in the world did the government find the excessive 70,000 tons just overnight?
My colleagues were laughing over it and two probabilities:-
1) The government has arranged for it to be hoarded where all the 70,000 tons had been stored up by a crony company and the government bought all of it from this crony company.
2) All the cooking oil producers teamed up and hoarded this 70,000 tons and with government intervention (probably after being paid a large amount of money by the government). At the same time, this government was shown capable of solving any issues even though last minute and could be done overnight.
How did this two propabilities came about? From the media, there was no explanation as to how 70,000 tons of cooking oil were found overnight which occurred on the same day where rationing started.
Tags: Cooking Oil, Rationing of Cooking Oil, Hoarding, Malaysia
But it was widely published in today's local newspapers that the government would be flooding the whole Malaysia with cooking oil.
Flood in what sense? Quantity wise? 70,000 tons of cooking oil would be made available and with that 'flooding', the rationing of cooking oil has been lifted with immediate effect. The rationing lasted only one day.
Now, you tell me - where in the world did the government find the excessive 70,000 tons just overnight?
My colleagues were laughing over it and two probabilities:-
1) The government has arranged for it to be hoarded where all the 70,000 tons had been stored up by a crony company and the government bought all of it from this crony company.
2) All the cooking oil producers teamed up and hoarded this 70,000 tons and with government intervention (probably after being paid a large amount of money by the government). At the same time, this government was shown capable of solving any issues even though last minute and could be done overnight.
How did this two propabilities came about? From the media, there was no explanation as to how 70,000 tons of cooking oil were found overnight which occurred on the same day where rationing started.
Tags: Cooking Oil, Rationing of Cooking Oil, Hoarding, Malaysia
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Students Paid to Pee in School
Extracted this from the Star newspaper:-
A secondary school in Tanjung Malim is charging students 10 sen if they want to use the toilet during “non-recess” periods.
Tanjung Malim PPP division Youth chief S. Steven, whose daughter is studying at SMK Methodist, said the toilets at the school were only “free of charge” during recess.
“It’s ridiculous that students have to pay to use the toilet,” he said, claiming that several parents had voiced their dissatisfaction to him over the matter.
Steven said he had gone to the school to meet its principal P. Yogarajan. “I was told the toilet charges started about two years ago and money collected was to be used to rebuild the toilets,” he said.
When contacted, Yogarajan confirmed the school had such a policy. “The parent-teacher association discussed the idea and gave their consent,” he said. Yogarajan, who said the move was also a good way to deter students from skipping classes, however, declined to reveal how much the school had collected in toilet fees over the past two years.
Recalling my schooling days, I really do need to pee at times during classes and the intention was not to skip classes. And for those students who had the intention, they won't loiter at the toilets as they would be far away from the school by that time.
Firstly, my mom would say that you have to finish all the water in your water tumbler.
Secondly, mom said drink as much water as you can so you won't fall sick and get to eat stuff you like whenever we were out for meals.
Thirdly, mom also said don't hold the pee too long as it would cause sickness (childhood paranoia?).
But this school principal came from another school of taught. Why was the school obtaining funds to rebuild a toilet throught students (even though it was only 10 cents) instead of applying to the Ministry of Education if there was such a neeed.
Tags: Pee, Wee Wee, School Toilet, Tanjung Malim, Parent-Teacher Association
A secondary school in Tanjung Malim is charging students 10 sen if they want to use the toilet during “non-recess” periods.
Tanjung Malim PPP division Youth chief S. Steven, whose daughter is studying at SMK Methodist, said the toilets at the school were only “free of charge” during recess.
“It’s ridiculous that students have to pay to use the toilet,” he said, claiming that several parents had voiced their dissatisfaction to him over the matter.
Steven said he had gone to the school to meet its principal P. Yogarajan. “I was told the toilet charges started about two years ago and money collected was to be used to rebuild the toilets,” he said.
When contacted, Yogarajan confirmed the school had such a policy. “The parent-teacher association discussed the idea and gave their consent,” he said. Yogarajan, who said the move was also a good way to deter students from skipping classes, however, declined to reveal how much the school had collected in toilet fees over the past two years.
Recalling my schooling days, I really do need to pee at times during classes and the intention was not to skip classes. And for those students who had the intention, they won't loiter at the toilets as they would be far away from the school by that time.
Firstly, my mom would say that you have to finish all the water in your water tumbler.
Secondly, mom said drink as much water as you can so you won't fall sick and get to eat stuff you like whenever we were out for meals.
Thirdly, mom also said don't hold the pee too long as it would cause sickness (childhood paranoia?).
But this school principal came from another school of taught. Why was the school obtaining funds to rebuild a toilet throught students (even though it was only 10 cents) instead of applying to the Ministry of Education if there was such a neeed.
Tags: Pee, Wee Wee, School Toilet, Tanjung Malim, Parent-Teacher Association
New Method of Crime by Snatch Thieves
Letter by Joyce Ho
We have been reading about snatch thieves incidents. I witnessed for myself today a new method adopted by them.
Please pass this on to friends - Alert them of this NEW METHOD adopted by snatch thieves.
I was driving along SS2/22, Petaling Jaya going towards Damansara Jaya. This street is totally residential one street off the main road.
About 10 houses in front of me was this young lady walking by a car parked along the grass patch outside one of the terrace houses. As she was reaching the rear end of this clean decent looking Silver Proton Waja, I noticed the engine started and the left rear passenger doors window was being wound down.
Suddenly a man emerged out of the rear passenger doors window his entire torso! and making a grab of this ladys handbag!!!! As this man emerged from the cars window, the Silver Proton Waja was pulling out of its parking position slowly not in a hurry with the man from within just dragging the lady and her handbag along until she gave it up!! Then they drove off slowly no hurry!!!
All the above happened in front of my eyes in less than 30 seconds!!!!!
Her screams and cries did not help! No one came to her rescue in fact a middle age woman ran into her house upon seeing this happening right in front of her house only to come back out to lock her gates after the car has driven away! Do you blame her? The thieves were so bold!!!!
By the time my car reached her, the Silver Proton Waja had turned the corner. She was very shaken but thankfully only slightly hurt her pants were torn as were her slippers bloody knees, shins, palms and elbows. On the way to the police station, she told me that she had noticed that there were 3 men she identified them as Malay men in the car.
I could not believe my eyes when I saw what was happening thus did not have the instinct to take note of the cars registration number. Ive always thought that would be the first thing I would look out in an incident like this but NO I was too shocked simply watching this scene being played out right in front of me!!!
So please beware when you are walking by parked cars with men inside. Pass this on to as many friends as you can to alert them.
Tags: Snatch Thieves, Tragedy, Proton Waja
We have been reading about snatch thieves incidents. I witnessed for myself today a new method adopted by them.
Please pass this on to friends - Alert them of this NEW METHOD adopted by snatch thieves.
I was driving along SS2/22, Petaling Jaya going towards Damansara Jaya. This street is totally residential one street off the main road.
About 10 houses in front of me was this young lady walking by a car parked along the grass patch outside one of the terrace houses. As she was reaching the rear end of this clean decent looking Silver Proton Waja, I noticed the engine started and the left rear passenger doors window was being wound down.
Suddenly a man emerged out of the rear passenger doors window his entire torso! and making a grab of this ladys handbag!!!! As this man emerged from the cars window, the Silver Proton Waja was pulling out of its parking position slowly not in a hurry with the man from within just dragging the lady and her handbag along until she gave it up!! Then they drove off slowly no hurry!!!
All the above happened in front of my eyes in less than 30 seconds!!!!!
Her screams and cries did not help! No one came to her rescue in fact a middle age woman ran into her house upon seeing this happening right in front of her house only to come back out to lock her gates after the car has driven away! Do you blame her? The thieves were so bold!!!!
By the time my car reached her, the Silver Proton Waja had turned the corner. She was very shaken but thankfully only slightly hurt her pants were torn as were her slippers bloody knees, shins, palms and elbows. On the way to the police station, she told me that she had noticed that there were 3 men she identified them as Malay men in the car.
I could not believe my eyes when I saw what was happening thus did not have the instinct to take note of the cars registration number. Ive always thought that would be the first thing I would look out in an incident like this but NO I was too shocked simply watching this scene being played out right in front of me!!!
So please beware when you are walking by parked cars with men inside. Pass this on to as many friends as you can to alert them.
Tags: Snatch Thieves, Tragedy, Proton Waja
Monday, January 07, 2008
New Office Policy
Dress Code:-
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:-
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:-
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:-
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:-
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders"category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:-
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
Tags: Office Policy, Dress Code, Sick Days, Personal Days, Bereavement Leave, Bathroom Breaks, Lunch Break, Funny, Humour, Jokes
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:-
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:-
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:-
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:-
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders"category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:-
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
Tags: Office Policy, Dress Code, Sick Days, Personal Days, Bereavement Leave, Bathroom Breaks, Lunch Break, Funny, Humour, Jokes
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