The Price of Growing Old

AN elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and had a set of hearing aids fitted.
A month later, he went back for a check-up and the doctor said: “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”
The gentleman replied: “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
******
TWO gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “Slim, I’m 83 and just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?”
Slim replies: “I feel just like a newborn baby.”
“Really? Like a newborn babe?”
“Yep. No hair, no teeth ... and I think I just wet my pants.”
******
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Retirement, Hearing, Newborn

Counting My Days

Less and lesser Malaysians are staying on for this Sudan project as it’s coming to an end soon. Few more going back prior to the Hari Raya in Malay language or Eid as it’s being called in Arabic, the muslim celebration at the end of their Ramadan month. Not easy to go through nights now as I think there will be only 3 of us left in Khartoum whereas a few more would be in 2 other project sites. Can’t really imagine. Guess I’ll be in office too in overcoming boredom.

Unfathomable weather over here and I guess it’s well over 44 degree celcius and due to the dry weather, it’s even hotter. Blistering hot it is. Still trying to get use to it and was hit with migraine headaches on 2 of the days since being here for a week now.

Get to leave office by 4.30pm now during the Ramadan month (majority muslim staff so being a minority has its privilege at times too). But the trip back to our house, less than 5 minutes away, in our car was like a long journey as the afternoon sun beams down its ray on us. The evening temperature at 7pm is around 37 degree celcius. Can’t afford to take a shower before 8pm as the water tankage is situated at the rooftop and burning hot water comes out from the cold water tap. So, best time to have a shower (for my case) would be after 8pm or better still, after 9pm.

For the last one week, dinner was cooked by a Bangladeshi worker staying at our house while waiting for his passport to be processed by his embassy in Saudi Arabia. At least, I’m spared from preparing my dinner. But he’ll as soon as his passport arrives and back to daily headaches on what to cook for dinner. Why headache? First, the ingredients or right kind of sauce is not found in Sudan (this is good enough to deter you). Secondly, I don’t really know how to cook. Barely. Without the right basic stuff, a renowned chef would find it hard to cook here (excuses, excuses!!).

During the night, it’s only either watching movies, playing computer/sony playstation games, listening to music or read some interesting articles downloaded from the internet. Meanwhile, sipping my favourite hot Lipton Tea with sugar/milk (yeah Milkmaid brought from KL). Best time to do my devotion with God too. Just need to be creative to occupy my time here. Unfortunately, no internet access at home.
Tags: Journal, Life, Diary, Eid, Hari Raya

Latest Gadget That Baffles You

Click this website to see the latest gadget being used to present a lecture on physics. You will be dumbfounded by it. I guarantee it. Future teaching methods.

http://www.bulletinboardforum.com/worksafe.php?vid=NZNTgglPbUA

Tags: Gadget, Lecture, Physics, Technology

Can Cops Take Our SIM Cards?

Have not heard of this issue yet? Then you have to know your civil rights when dealing with the police in such scenario. It happened to a complainant who got his mobile phone's SIM card confiscated at a police roadblock. (source: 3 Oct, STAR)

To know your rights, please access the Malaysian Bar Council's website and go to Most Downloaded on the left column to download the REDBOOK: Know Your Rights. There is a full version which comprise English, BM, Chinese & Tamil languages for your reading convenience.
Tags: Police, SIM Card, Roadblock, Bar Council, Red Book, Civil Rights

Refreshing Jokes

A woman wakes up on 14 Feb morning and tells her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. "What do you think it means?". "You'll know tonight" he says. That evening, the man comes home with a small package and gives it to his wife. Delighted, she opens it and finds ... a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".
~~~~~~
A little boy went up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" his father replied, "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine."
~~~~~~
What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.
~~~~~
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour

M.P.

Interviewer: Your Name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Tell me properly.
Interviewee: Mohan Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: Your father's name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What dose that mean?
Interviewee: Manmohan Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: Your native place?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Madhya Pradesh?
Interviewee: No, Munnur Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: What is your qualification?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer (Angrily): What is it?
Interviewee: Matric Pass.
Interviewer: Why do you need a job?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: And what does that mean?
Interviewee: Money problem, Sir.
Interviewer: Describe your personality.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Explain yourself clearly.
Interviewee: Magnanimous personality, Sir.
Interviewer: This discussion is now over. You may go now.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What is it now?
Interviewee: My performance, Sir?
Interviewer: M.P.!!!
Interviewee: What is that, Sir.
Interviewer: Mentally punctured!
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, MP, Interview

Young Malaysian Novelist

Lim May Zhee is not your average self-published author. The 15-year-old talented, resourceful, resilient and mature girl published her first novella entitled Vanitee Bee. This book is about what goes on in a teenager’s mind and life. The picture (left) was taken at a local authors’ gathering at MPH Bookstores in 1Utama, Selangor.

She has her own blog at mayzhee.blogspot.com too. Surprisingly, there is a anti-mayzhee blog too at ihatemayzhee.blogspot.com but people suspect that it's her own creation too.
Tags: Lim May Zhee, Vanitee Bee, Author, Novel, Blog