Child's Guide to the Global Financial Crisis

This is a simple & funny illustration of the US sub-prime crisis.

You know dad is in trouble, and that mom is crying, and that the order for the Oyster 100 has had to be cancelled, and that the Bentley Arnage convertible is out, and that Graciela and Baby are on their way back to Manila and we're just left with Candy to help out, and that you probably aren't going to Choate after all, and it might be hard to figure everything out. But it's not.

Here's how it works. Think about gumdrops. They are no different than sub-prime home mortgages, and they illustrate how such a tiny segment of the housing market in the US could cause so much trouble for the world economy.

You used to be able to buy two gumdrops for a penny but now the price has gone up. They are a penny each. You want a gumdrop, but you don't have a penny. But I will loan you one because I know you want the gumdrop. I am not asking you if you have a way to pay off the gumdrop because I think you will pay it off, or I did before your dad got into trouble. I don't need to. But let's figure out if I can get some collateral. Collateral is a big word for something I can grab if you can't pay. That would be the gumdrop.

But collateral doesn't really matter. I know you signed a paper with your little six-year old hand that you would pay back the penny. Your father is rich, or was until the current unpleasantness, and I think you're good for it anyhow. So just like your father at the hedge fund, I have an IOU that represents the gumdrop. We can call it a mortgage.

But surprise. As soon as you gave me your little signature, I sold the paper to an 8th grader.

The kid who bought it from me has a great idea. He takes the gumdrop mortgage, and collects lots of them. Then he puts them into a fund that everybody can buy. A smart investment banker figured out in the 1980s that you could take lots of little IOUs, called mortgages, and bundle them together into bonds. These are called derivatives because they are financial instruments derived from the original mortgage. Then whoever buys them slices and dices them into different components.

The kid who bought your gumdrop IOU from me is like that. So what kind of derivatives can we derive from your gumdrop? Well, the kid who bought the gumdrop IOU split it into a whole bunch of new financial instruments. They are called collateralized debt obligations. He sells securities on the gelatine in the gumdrop for 1 cent. He sells securities in the dye in the gumdrop for 1 cent. He sells securities in the sugar for 1 cent. He sells securities in the aroma for 1 cent. He sells securities in the appearance of the gumdrop for 1 cent. He sells securities in the squeezability of the gumdrop for 1 cent. Your gumdrop, which you bought for one cent (although it's really only worth half a cent because of speculation and inflation) is now worth 6 cents.

But that's just the start. Each of the buyers of the gumdrop securities breaks them into component parts and sells them on to other kids. The kid who buys the gelatine security breaks it down into its separate chemical components and sells each of the chemical component securities for one cent each. That creates five new securities each worth a cent. The kid who buys the dye security takes a prism of the color and breaks it down into each of its component colors. The possibilities are nearly endless. Colors can be separated split into endless variations using color separators. Magenta and cyan are components of red. Yellow and cyan can produce green. Each one can represent a new security.

The kid who buys the sugar security got a great deal. Sugar is a disaccharide that breaks down into glucose and fructose. It breaks down after that into something called C12H22011, with the systemic name of D-fructofuranosyl or D-glucopyranoside. Each one of those is broken down again. Over and over. It's fun! Each of the people who breaks these down into individual securities says the security is backed by your one-cent gumdrop mortgage - the collateralized debt obligation.

In your dad's world, this is called "creating new financial instruments." By now, the total market value of the securities built on the value of your one-cent gumdrop is somewhere around 50 times that. But in a bull market, when everybody gets concerned that their snouts aren't deep enough into the money trough, they start to panic and buy more, forcing the price up even higher. So your half-cent gumdrop now represents maybe US$1.

Way down at the bottom is you. The whole thing is built on your gumdrop, but I remember that you haven't paid me the penny you owe me, maybe because you're scared to ask dad, who is very grouchy these days. So I'd like the gumdrop back. Unfortunately, you ate it.

There was another man who was a lot like that investment banker who figured out how to securitize mortgages. His name was Carlo Ponzi. But that's another story.

Related reading: Shrewd lenders spark US mortgage chaos
Tags: Sub Prime, Financial Crisis, Mortgage, , US Mortgage, Investment Banker, Financial Instruments, Bonds, Derivatives, Collaterised Debt, Securities, Carlo Ponzi

What Not to Say in a Plane?

After a month-long holiday in the US , my wife and I finally boarded the plane in San Francisco last Sunday heading home.

As the plane reached cruising speed with the seat belt sign switched off, a 6 ft 3" black man with the build of Mike Tyson in the front row got up from his seat, turned to face the back, raised his arm and yelled, "HIJACK!"

Everyone was frozen to the seat, expecting the worst to happen. And two stewards were about to jump onto this guy to overpower him when another voice answered from the back of the plane: "HI JOHN!"

The moral of the story is: If you have a friend named Jack, for heaven's sake don't ever call him in the plane. Otherwise you may land yourself in deep shit.
Tags: San Francisco, Mike Tyson, Plane, Travel

What is Marriage All About?

He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting>for?"

She answered .......................... (scroll down)

"THE TEETH"

Tags: Good Marriage, Teeth, Jokes, Funny, Humour

MV Agusta's Getting Better After Proton Era

Proton Holdings, a Malaysian company that has interest in the national car project - Proton, has disposed of its 57.57% interest in MV Agusta, a renowned motorcycle company to an unknown Italian company called Gevi Spa for a mere 1 Euro (incl. debts and working capital requirements totalling 139.44 million euros) way back during end 2005. I could have bought that company at a much higher price.

And lately, news came out that one of MV Agusta's motorcycle brand has been stripped of from its stable and sold of to BMW Motorrad International at an undisclosed price. The said brand being disposed of is Husqvarna Motorcycles, which is considered a renowned brand by BMW Motorrad and American Motorcyclist Association. I'm very about as BMW wouldn't have invested in a non-profitable business/brand.

It has been rumoured that MV Agusta managed to disposed the Husqvarna Motorcycles brand at a price of 93 million Euro. That was just for 1 brand.

The question goes back to Proton Holdings Berhad's management. Why did they dispose of MV Agusta for a paltry 1 Euro???? If people just brush it off by saying it's a management failure then I would say it's a total cover-up again or something fishy has happened. Who would in their right frame of mind dispose it at 1 Euro????

And then MV Agusta's new management managed to sell off a "renowned brand" for 93 million Euro. That sale would have met majority of the 139 million Euro required to cover debts/ working capital.

Not only that, after MV Agusta had freed itself from Proton, it managed to develop the following two events which I would say a brand building effort:-

* the joint-production of MV Agusta watches together with the renowned watchmaker, Jean Richard







* the development of the world's most exclusive and fastest production motorcycle on the planet, the MV Agusta F4CC at a price of 100,000 Euro, limited to 100 units only.

Me: Proton, what's your say in this?
Proton: We don't know.
Me: Ok, I had expected that answer as what else do you know.
Tags: MV Agusta, Proton Holdings Berhad, Proton, BMW, BMW Motorrad International, Husqvarna Motorcycles, MV Agusta Watches, Jean Richard, MV Agusta F4CC, F4CC, Motorcycles, American Motorcyclist Association

Respective Blood Group's Food

You mean you didn't know that if you belong to the 'A' blood group, there would be certain kind of food that would be suitable for your blood group/type.

There is such a place in Skudai of Johor where you can savour the right kind of organic grown food for your blood group. In the menu, each dish has the following alphabets (A, B, O, or AB) besides the name of that dish signifying which dish is suitable for you. Very interesting, right?

It's a family-owned restaurant and the husband would ask for your blood type. He may not serve you the kind food which is not according to your blood type even though you requested for it. Surprised? Now what if you lied on your blood group ....... hehe. Will the owners conduct a blood test on you?????

Healthy for your body system as little salt is used, olive oil used for cooking instead, special sauces made from organic ingredients and non-MSG.

If you are not sure, drop by at a restaurant called Eat Right Best Restaurant locaed at 101, Jln Sutera Tanjung 8/2, Tmn Sutera Utama, Skudai, Johor.

Tags: Blood Group, Blood Type, Eat Right Best, Food, Restaurant, Skudai, Johor, Healthy, Organic Food, Organic Grown

The Lobsterman

My group of friends' hunt for food brought us to The Lobsterman at SS2, Petaling Jaya.

We ordered the 2 sets of the Lobster Family Set Menu (price according to size; ours was RM233 per set) and get to pick 2 unlucky lobsters of the day.








We did try the Fresh Lobster with Fresh Fruit & Creamy Yogurt (RM28).

The baked Escargots and Mussels were part of the set menu. Good feeling once it enters your mouth.
Tarragon Butter Baked (French cooking style).

How big was the serving? There were 8 adults and it didn't really fill my stomach. Any more additional orders will cost more and I mean really more......hehe

Lobster Termidor (Italian cooking style) with white wine and baked with cheese.

Was it considered fine dining with a bill of RM700++? Not really as the restaurant's ambience/setting was not high class enough....hehe

Will we go again? Don't think so as we have lots of other places to go.
Tags: The Lobsterman, SS2, Petaling Jaya, Food, Restaurant, Lobster, Mussel, Escargot

Is Your Honey the Star of the Day?

If your honey is the star of the day, you could treat your honey to a good meal at Honey Star. But the restaurant has changed its name to Star Village Restaurant recently. It's located at Overseas Union Garden (OUG), KL.

Nothing related to the Honeystar cereal meal (but I found that this Honeystar could be quite tasty if it was part of a cookie).

Ostrich Steak which I ordered for myself. Not bad, at least it's something different from the usual western food.

The Salmon Fish Steak. Fresh fish.

Unique drink - Sun Tea. Often drank this when I was in Sudan, called Karkadeh (Roselle in english). It's actually hibiscus leaves which is widely cheaply available in Sudan but over here in Malaysia, it's considered a higher class drink.

Too bulky for me to bring back those dried tea leaves .... the immigration may suspect otherwise .... drugs???

The interior decor is quite unique.


A pool table is available for customers before, during & after their meals.

The atmosphere is quite nice and cooling. This restaurant started from Taman Desa, where I stay and then they moved to OUG later on. We often go over as the food is quite good and price is reasonable.

My hunt for food never ends till some of my friends said that I "live to eat" (of course some of the comrades were guilty of that as well).


Another blogger, Swing, was there recently and had some other photos to your liking.
Tags: Honey Star, Star Village, Overseas Union Garden, OUG, Food, Restaurant, Ostrich Steak, Salmon Fish Steak