You Could Lose Your Penis in Congo

This is really a frightening statement as I do frequent the African continent for project works. Democratic Republic of Congo is a nation located at central western part of Africa.

How did the penis disappear? It seems that sorcerers could actually do that, either they make it disappear or shrink it by using witchcraft or black magic. How did the sorcerors do it? It was claimed that a mere brush of touch by them on you would be sufficient.

A jargon description has been created for situation - penis snatching. This situation is mainly happening in Kinshasa, the capital city where it has 8 million people. Out of the 8 million, so far 14 has claimed that they were victims of it.

The rumours have it that sorcerors did it to extort money from victims in exchange for cure. This is really bad. Then foreign expats would surely be targetted as they would be loaded especially when posted overseas to work (sweats).

Reading: Penis theft panic hits city.. - Reuters
Tags: Africa, Congo, Penis, Penis Snatching, Congo, Democractic Republic of Congo, Kinshasa, Witchcraft, Black Magic, Sorceror

Time’s Up For Asian English

I picked up a jar of turtle fungus paste at a medicine shop on the way home last night. The label said: "It will lower the evil fire."

It probably intended to say something dull about reducing one’s fever, but I preferred the wording as it stood. We all have evil fires which occasionally need lowering.

But labels like that are disappearing. Tragically, English in Asia is being standardised and brought in line with Western English.

The growth of outplacement services is causing this to happen all over Asia, and the Olympics are amplifying the effect in China.

This is dumb. Asian phrasing and terminology are much more powerful than English equivalents. I’ll prove it to you.

In the West, signs in parks say: "Don’t drop litter."

In China, and I am not making this up, the same signs sometimes say: "If you pay loving care to public health, you will live to be 100 years old. If you throw garbage everywhere, your children will die."

That’s a brilliant sign, don’t you think? Be honest. Which of the two slogans more powerfully gets your attention?

Homeowners in the West put pictures of a dog in front of their homes to deter thieves. In India, I saw a sign on a gate saying: "Beware ferocious dogs and ghosts." Junk mail deliverers made a wide berth.

Instead of "Keep Off" signs stuck into lawns, some Beijing parks have signs which say: "Show mercy to the slender grass."

Instead of "No Hawkers", the Chinese equivalent is impressively direct: "Peddlers are prohibited from entering. Violators will be beaten viciously with violent blows."

I once saw a "No Entry" sign in Indonesia which consisted simply of a black-on-white image of one man shooting another. Message received. I chose not to enter.

Then there was the sign in Malaysia which said: "Please do not spit too loud." This is smart: the sound of spitting is as revolting as the sight of it.

Asian signs often intriguingly reveal the mindset of the people writing them.

At the zoo in Nanjing, keepers put up a sign which says: "Please don’t hurt the animals while teasing them."

Chinese officials may think animals are there to be tormented, but big buildings are to be respected, as shown by this sign in front of one: "Classic and tranquil and enjoyable and big hall."

In India, I saw a sign in front of a tourist hotel which said: "Broken English Spoken Perfectly."

Thailand is another place with memorably honest signs. You’ll find one outside a bar in Phuket which says: "Over 150 Pretty Ladies and Two Ugly Ones." Straight out of the horse’s mouth!

And still on the theme of truthfulness, there used to be one in the "Ethnic Minorities" theme park in Beijing which described it to visitors as "Racist Park". Sadly it has disappeared in the pre-Olympics clean-up.

Signs in Asia can often conjure up existentialist puzzles.

At the building where I do most of my work in Kowloon, there are signs bolted onto the tables. The majority of the space is taken up by the words: "Do Not Remove This Sign."

So let’s fight to keep Asian English the way it is. We like it that way.
Tags: Asia, English In Asia, Western English, Asian English, Asian Phrasing, Asian Terminology

ATM Users Be Cautious

Got this piece of news via the email and wondering who else were victims of such ATMs or was it just a piece of rumour or someone wanted to cause some problems at their former workplace.
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I would like to share a real life story with all my friends and especially all my colleagues and all May****bank account holders.

This incident happened on today evening (1 April 2008). I went to the PJ State (also known as PJ New Town) May**** to withdraw RM500. Unfortunately for me, only 9 RM50 notes came out instead of 10.

What happened was, one of the RM50 notes was folded exactly in half and placed at a corner of the stack (please refer to the attached pictures showing how two RM50 notes can be counted as three).

I was so upset because I have no proof that the ATM did not give me the correct amount. After much hesitation, I finally decided to call May**** to complain about the incident knowing that I may not get back my money. But at least I can caution them of such incident. When I told of my situation to the May**** Customer Service Representative, to my surprise, I was informed that I'm not the first victim. It seems that similar cases have occurred before.

The lady explained that it is the malfunction of the ATM and the money may accidentally get folded in half. However when questioned, she was unable to explain to me why the money can be folded exactly in half and placed nicely in the corner of the stack.

I believe this is the new technique of cheating money, done by the people who are responsible of placing the money into the ATMs. In the stack of money which is to be placed into the ATM, one RM50 note is folded nicely in half, for every one note taken out of the stack of money. The folded RM50 notes are then placed at the edge of the stack and positioned in the ATM where the money would be counted. With that done, every one folded note would be counted by the machine as two notes.

I may be wrong about how and why it happened, but I would like to warn everyone about this incident. Please be careful when withdrawing money from the ATM (it may happen to other banks as well) and do count your money to be sure. If such an incident really happened to you (*touch wood*), please do call up the bank to complain about this. If everyone keeps quiet about this, the bank may be unaware of such incidents and the people responsible may just continue doing what they do without getting caught! Even if it is actually because of the ATM malfunctioning, the bank should know about this and there is also a chance of you getting your money back.
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Personally, I do count the number of notes that I have withdrawn but will it do any good once the money has came out of the ATM. What recourse do I have? Show my money to the security camera stationed near the ATM as a proof?

Please note that this blog posting was not aimed to badmouth any particular bank but main reason was to highlight the issue behind such cash withdrawals that could happen at any ATMs.
Tags: ATM, Bank, PJ State, PJ New Town

French Has The Secret For Prolongation

Keen to live beyond 100 years old? If you do, the French people have the secret for such life prolongation thing.

So, I was wrong to mention that Malaysia has the most oldest people in one nation. Looks like France has as many as 20,115 people that are above 100 years old. My my ...... and in Britain itself, there are about 11,000 of them. What's their secret? Not that I'm aiming to have that age. But I do wonder how would I look like (not as handsome like now definitely) and what would be the condition of my bones / muscles by then?

I knew that personal lifestyle do make a difference. Personally, keeping my body fit is my main goal. My motivation was seeing a 80 year old man finishing the New York marathon within the 6 hours qualifying time for a certificate. That kept me on.

Many people that I came into contact with do tell me that they wanted to do this or that but would be exhausted by the time they reach home from work. They would just rather laze around the house or be a couch potato especially the weekends.

For me, it would be meeting friends, going to the gym, running around doing my chores, blogging till late night and able to watch middle of the night live football matches. That's life! My secret - just need to do simple exercise throughout the week.

But for the French, they did the following to 'preserve' their precious life:-
* diet rich in olive oil
* ability to "keep smiling"
* play boules
* and cycle
* serious lunch hour – a proper, sit-down, three- or four-course meal from an early age
* red wine
* poultry
* fish
* haricots of the typical French south-western diet
* sign of contentment
* eat better quality and more variety of food
* exercise

France has predicted a great great granny-boom.

Reading: Want to see your 100th birthday? Be like the French and drink red wine - The Independent
Tags: Old Age, Life Prolongation, Oldest People, Health, Centenarian, Red Wine, France, French, Britain

Circle of Life

Life is actually going round one big circle. But in between all those success, what did you contribute?Tags: Circle of Life, Success

Olympic Torch Relay in Malaysia

With all the havoc being created during those Olympic torch relays held at Paris, London, San Francisco and India, the Malaysian government has to prepare themselves for any unwanted situation on 21 Apr 2008, Monday afternoon.

Last Friday, a group of Falun Gong followers did a protest just right outside of the China Embassy in Kuala Lumpur.

In view of this, the Royal Malaysian Police has set up a special police action squad to prevent the Anti-China, Falun Gong and Tibetan sympathisers or anyone for that matter from interferring in the Olympic torch relay.

Well, certain / surrounding roads would be close to motor vehicles to accommodate the torch relay from 2.15pm to 6.15pm and if you are having any appointments at this few areas, do re-adjust your timing:-
* Dataran Merdeka (starting point)
* Wisma OCM
* City Hall
* Parliament House
* National Museum
* National Mosque
* Old Railway Station
* Kuala Lumpur and Selangor Chinese Assembly Hall
* Merdeka Stadium
* KL Tower
* KLCC (finale)

When the road is closed to motor vehicles, it's much more easier to target you (if you are one of those intending to disrupt the Olympic torch relay).

The police has warned that stern action would be taken against any disruption and any vehicles parked along the scheduled roads would be towed away for security reasons. What security reasons you may ask - Car Bombs la!

Reading: Olympic flame arrives in Malaysia capital Kuala Lumpur
Reading: Olympic torch relay sabotage in Paris - ESWN
Tags: China, Beijing Olympic, Olympic Torch Relay, Kuala Lumpur, Special Police Action Squad, Royal Malaysian Police, Falun Gong

Don't Approach Your MPs Said Government

The Malaysian government has advised the Kuala Lumpur folks not to approach their respective MPs. The Deputy Minister of the Ministry of Federal Territories, Datuk M. Saravanan, said that the need for the MPs was not required as his Ministry was in good rapport with the community, residents’ associations and NGOs.

He said "all matters brought up would be discussed by a committee chaired by him and forwarded to Zulhasnan (the Minister)."

This fella never learn from the political tsunami.

Hello sir, out of 11 parliamentary seats in the capital city of Kuala Lumpur, 10 seats were won by opposition parties. Please wake up to this fact! How could you say that we don't need our MPs. Actually we don't need you right from 8 March 2008 (general election day) onwards. You were appointed into this Ministry by the government. The MPs were elected by the Malaysian citizens.

And you dare to say that your Ministry would discuss all issues??????? The area and condo that I'm staying in have problems where the government couldn't care less. Writing to and meeting with different but specific government authorities didn't even receive any positive response, what more to your Ministry that would have to handle anything under the sky, just like the City Hall Council.

Datuk Saravanan, you have mentioned that residents’ associations and NGOs were having close relationship with your Ministry, please name them so that we, the lousy ones, may learn from those residents’ associations and NGOs. Don't just simply mention the words "residents’ associations and NGOs".
Tags: Malaysian Politics, Residents’ Associations, NGO, Ministry of Federal Territories, Datuk M. Saravanan