I was walking through the supermarket to pick up a few things when I noticed an old lady following me around. Thinking nothing of it, I ignored her and continued on. Finally I went to the checkout line, but she got in front of me.
"Pardon me," she said "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently." "I'm very sorry" I said to her. "Is there anything I can do for you?" "Yes," she said. "As I'm leaving, can you say Good Bye Mom?". It would make me feel so much better." "Sure" I said. An odd request, but no harm would come of it. As the old woman was leaving, I called out, "Good Bye, Mom!"
As I stepped up to the checkout counter, I saw that my total was $1027.50. "How can that be?" I asked, "I only purchased a few things!". "Your mother said that you would pay for her" said the clerk.
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Supermarket
Saturday, October 07, 2006
5 Surgeons
5 surgeons are discussing whose patients make the best surgical candidates.
The 1st surgeon says "I like to see accountants on my operating table. When you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The 2nd surgeon responds "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."
The 3rd surgeon says "No, I really think librarians are the best everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The 4th surgeon chimes in "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end & if the job takes longer than you said it would, no big deal."
But the 5th surgeon topped them all. "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, & no spine & on top of that, the head & the arse are interchangeable."
Tags: Surgeon, Patient, Accountant, Electrician, Librarian, Construction, Politician, Jokes, Funny, Humour
The 1st surgeon says "I like to see accountants on my operating table. When you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The 2nd surgeon responds "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."
The 3rd surgeon says "No, I really think librarians are the best everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The 4th surgeon chimes in "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end & if the job takes longer than you said it would, no big deal."
But the 5th surgeon topped them all. "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, & no spine & on top of that, the head & the arse are interchangeable."
Tags: Surgeon, Patient, Accountant, Electrician, Librarian, Construction, Politician, Jokes, Funny, Humour
Love Airways - Singapore
It's not a new airline. But will be the first adult edutainment magazine in the strict land of Singapore to hit the newstand on 22 Oct 2006.Love Airways has just received clearance from the Singapore government to which will fully wrapped-up in plastic cover & retailed a price of S$4.50 (US$2.87). Some of the topics in the magazine are as follows:-
1. sex-related material by contributors ranging from a cosmetic surgeon, a nutritionist and even a university student;
2. topics like sexuality on cyberspace;
3. sexual habits of other animal species;
4. reviews of love hotels; and
5. a series of nude photographs - done in a tasteful manner of course.
(source: Sun Malaysia, MediaCorp & Independent Online)
Tags: Love Airways, Singapore, Magazine, Adult Magazine, Edutainment, Sex, Sexuality, Sexual Habits, Nude PhotographsClown Academy in Johore
Soon to be set-up in Danga Bay, the planned integrated resort in the southern state of Johore, Malaysia, is the Circus Academy. Royal London Circus, a Malaysian-owned circus troupe by the Lee family will be conducting classes for trapeze artistes, animal trainers, clowns, acrobats and dancers. Also there is avenue for those who want to learn how to choreograph shows and design costumes which are all related to the circus. (source: Bernama)Tags: Danga Bay, Johore, Circus Academy, Circus, Royal London Circus, Entertainment
Friday, October 06, 2006
UKM ahead of UM
If you fret over not getting into Universiti Malaya (UM) but was offered a course in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM), don't worry as UKM is ranked higher than UM now in the a Times Higher Education Supplement.
In World University Rankings 2006 published by the Times Higher Education Supplement and conducted by QS Quacquarelli Symonds, UKM rose by 105 places to break into the top 200-ranked universities for the first time, climbing from 289 last year to 185.
UM, however, continued its downward spiral, by dropping a further 23 places to 192. Its ranking fell from 89 in 2004 to 169 last year, causing a national debate on the status of the premier university and the validity of the criteria used for the rankings.
Education Ministry heads are only interested in politics/racial remarks/race discrimination and not the well being or improvements of varsity students. If this goes on, sad to say, whatever is being produced by Malaysian universities will also reflect Malaysia's future in time to come.
Tags: Education, Universiti Malaya, UM, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia, UKM, World University Rankings 2006, Times Higher Education Supplement, QS Quacquarelli Symonds, Education Ministry, University, Malaysia
In World University Rankings 2006 published by the Times Higher Education Supplement and conducted by QS Quacquarelli Symonds, UKM rose by 105 places to break into the top 200-ranked universities for the first time, climbing from 289 last year to 185.UM, however, continued its downward spiral, by dropping a further 23 places to 192. Its ranking fell from 89 in 2004 to 169 last year, causing a national debate on the status of the premier university and the validity of the criteria used for the rankings.
Education Ministry heads are only interested in politics/racial remarks/race discrimination and not the well being or improvements of varsity students. If this goes on, sad to say, whatever is being produced by Malaysian universities will also reflect Malaysia's future in time to come.
Tags: Education, Universiti Malaya, UM, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia, UKM, World University Rankings 2006, Times Higher Education Supplement, QS Quacquarelli Symonds, Education Ministry, University, Malaysia
Dead Duck!
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's' chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have only been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00."
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Veterinary Surgeon, Dead, Duck, Labrador Retriever, Cat
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have only been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00."
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Veterinary Surgeon, Dead, Duck, Labrador Retriever, Cat
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Pattaya International Fireworks Festival
Pattaya is definitely firing up its presence internationally. Covid19 has hit many nations really hard and Pattaya wasn't exempted from ...
-
In 2004, Donald J. Trump bought former health care executive Abe Gosman's palace, Maison de L'Amitie , at bankruptcy auction for $4...
-
You can order your own coffin before you rest in peace for good. If you think your time is about to run out, click Wal-Mart.com quickly to ...
