Hell & Heaven Involved in Politics

While walking down the street one day a Malaysian Boleh Minister is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I have made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Yang Berhormat

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules," says St. Peter.

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and dressed in the finest batik there is. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then indulge themselves on lobsters, caviar and the most expensive food there is.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it' s time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the Yang Berhormat joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Yang Berhormat reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I am better off in hell."

So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the Yang Berhormat. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning just like you during an election...... Today you voted."

VOTE WISELY IN THE COMING ELECTION!

Tags: Election, Hell, Heaven, Jokes, Funny, Humour, St. Peter, Yang Berhormat

Historical Malacca Trip

Over the last weekend, I made trip down to the historical city of Malacca for my niece's wedding. Along the PLUS Highway heading south, I noticed a lorry with its laden goods (I think it was long pieces of woods) has dropped almost the whole batch on the highway on the oppposite lane.

Phew! Good thing not on my side of the traffic.

This resulted in a terrible traffic standstill. I reckoned it was more than 3km long as the highway operator was cleaning the goods on the highway.

Stayed at a seaside bungalow owned by a foreign bank. Somehow kept forgetting to take the frontage photo of the bungalow. It has 8 rooms, 2 living halls, a children's pool and a slightly bigger pool for adults or older kids.

I didn't swim as one plunge or one kick in the pool would end up at the other end.
Since the family members are excited about the trip with lots of energy left after the road journey, we made our way to Jonker Street, the place where you could traditional stuff, local food delicacies and olden days buildings.

The place has been decorated with red lanterns in view of the forthcoming Chinese New Year which will fall on 7 Feb 2008.









Found this shop selling clogs that has various sizes.
Besides the well-known Hollandish clogs, this businessowner made his clogs extraordinaire.

This is the Durian Cendol - a must try dessert when you are in Malacca.
This was one of my food, the Roti John sandwich with Otak fried with eggs. Slurp!

Continued our walk and bought some traditional local delicacies for munching back home.
Seen this before but can't remember its name.

In the evening, we were early at the restaurant and the ladies got the reception area ready.

Malacca people do come early for the wedding dinner. Just look at the bright daylight outside the restaurant. By 7.30pm, all the tables were filled.

Not like Kuala Lumpur ("KL") where people generally have no manners or time concious during wedding dinner . Supposedly to start at 7.30pm but KL folks would still be making their way into the restaurant at 8.30pm. Would say that these kind of people have no ethics in life.

Happy for this young couple. Either they walked too fast or the person manning the lighting was sleeping.

Wondering where he was aiming the light at.
Tags: Wedding Dinner, Malacca, Clogs, Durian Cendol, Roti John, PLUS Highway, Chinese New Year, Jonker Street

A.A.A.D.D. Strain Symptom

For those of you that don't get this, you will, your day is coming.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:-

* I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
* As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the table that I collected from the letter box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
* I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish binunder the table, and notice that it is full.
* So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.
* But then I think, since I'm going to be near the post-box when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
* I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only 1 cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.
* I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold.
* As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye - they need water.
* I put the Coke on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
* I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote control, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the front room where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
* So, I set the remote control back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
* Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
* At the end of the day:-
- the car isn't washed
- the bills aren't paid
- there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the worktop
- the flowers don't have enough water
- there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book
- I can't find the remote control
- I can't find my glasses
- and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it,but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
Tags: Funny, Humour, Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder, Forgetfulness

How an American Recession Might Hit Asia?

Investors in Asian stockmarkets were until recently big fans of the "decoupling" theory: the notion that Asian economies can shrug off an American recession. This week's plunge in shares, taking the MSCI Emerging Asia Index down by 25% at one point from its October high, suggests they have changed their minds. But the fact that Asian markets have not decoupled does not necessarily mean that their economies will follow America's over a cliff.

Decoupling was always a misnomer, seeming to imply that an American recession would have no impact on Asia. In fact exports and hence profits would certainly be reduced. The pertinent argument is that they would be hurt by much less than in previous American downturns. As well as hitting exports, America's troubles could affect Asia through various financial channels. Asia's exposure to the subprime mess is thought to be much smaller than that of American or European banks. Even so, Chinese bank shares tumbled this week on rumours that they would have to make much bigger write-downs on their holdings of American subprime securities. And if stockmarkets slide further as global investors flee from risky assets, this could dampen business and consumer confidence in the region.

Some Asian economies are more vulnerable than others: Singapore, Hong Kong and Malaysia have exports to America equivalent to 20% or more of their GDPs, compared with only 8% in China and 2% in India. There are already some ominous signs. Singapore's exports to America are down by 11% over the past year, while Malaysia's fell by 16%. Exports to other emerging economies and to the European Union surged, so total exports still grew by 6% in both economies. But that was much slower than at the start of the year, and the worry now is that demand from Europe has started to flag. The growth in China's exports to America slowed to only 1% (in yuan terms) in the year to December from over 20% in late 2006. So far the impact on GDP growth has been modest. Figures on China's fourth-quarter GDP were published on Thursday January 24th and showed growth above 11%.

China's economy would probably still expand by around 8-9% even if export growth dried up. During the 2001 American recession China's GDP barely slowed. In contrast, Hong Kong, Singapore, Taiwan and Malaysia suffered full-blown recessions. America's recession this time is likely to be deeper than in 2001 and Asia is now more integrated into the global economy. Doomsters conclude, therefore, that these economies could be hit harder this time. The main reason to be more optimistic is that domestic demand (consumer spending and investment) is likely to remain strong and governments have more flexibility. Last year, despite a slowdown in America's imports, most Asian economies grew faster as domestic demand speeded up. Robert Prior-Wandesforde, an economist at HSBC, says that those who argue that Asian economies cannot decouple from America are ignoring the fact that they already have. Take Malaysia: exports to America plunged, yet its GDP growth quickened from 5.7% at the end of 2006 to 6.7% in the third quarter of last year.

Contrary to the popular view that Asia's meltdown in 2001 was entirely due to a slump in exports, Peter Redward, at Barclays Capital, argues that a fall in investment played a bigger role. Firms had too much debt and excess capacity, particularly in the electronics sector, which was at the heart of the American recession. Today firms are in much better shape. Capacity utilisation is high across the region; outside China investment as a share of GDP is low by historical standards; corporate balance-sheets are stronger and real interest-rates are low. Firms are therefore much less likely to slash investment than in 2001. Macroeconomic fundamentals are also much healthier in East Asia. Large foreign-exchange reserves make countries less vulnerable to foreign shocks. Budgets are in surplus or close to balance, giving policymakers more room for a fiscal stimulus to support growth.

Thus even if Asia's exports clearly have not decoupled from America, its economies will be hurt less than in the past. Standard Chartered forecasts that emerging Asia will grow by an average of 6.4% in 2008, down from 7.8% in 2007. In 2001 growth dropped by three percentage points to 4.2%. Financial markets were slow to realise that Asian growth and hence the profits of some companies would be dented by an American downturn. But now they risk exaggerating the damage. Economic decoupling is not a myth.
Tags: Economics, American Recession, Asian Stockmarkets, Subprime Securities, Economic Decoupling

Looking for Landed Property

Anyone knows of anyone who wanted to sell their house? Am looking for one at the moment and hopefully it meets the following criteria:-

Land size: 22 x 80 to 22 x 100
Built up area: 2500 square feet onwards
Renovations: Kitchen and upper floor's rooms are fully extended. Best if front portion has been extended too
Location: Sri Petaling and Happy Garden area (not used to other areas lah)
Condition: Hopefully could move in with minimum renovations and the house has not been built for umpteenth years

Have to resort to this search as the last few houses that I have viewed were not up to what I wanted. Following issues that were not favourable:-
* If the built up area was there, the price was way too exhorbitant.
* The house looks good but toilets were too small.
* Price was quiet alright but the location was not suitable.
* House was alright but in order to take that house, extensive renovation has to be done.
* Price alright, house looks just nice, renovations were up to mark but the empty land in front of the house was a surau (muslim prayer hall) reserved land. Not that I'm racist but you wouldn't want that sort of traffic right in front of your house, day in day out.
* House at suitable location with low price but would require extensive renovations from bottom

Thought it was easy to buy a landed property. Some real estate agents are helping me out.
Tags: Landed Property, Real Estate, Sri Petaling, Happy Garden

Hunting Around Mid Valley

Was at Mid Valley the other day, hunting for some stuff for niece's wedding. When it comes to food, it must be sufficient. Now let's see, which one has not been frequented for long long time. American Chili's it is.

Ordered the sizzling chicken fajita that came with three pieces of tortilla. It was good and took the bottomless Milo drink. Got a cup that was filled with ice and there you are - Iced Milo (two cups of it).
As for dessert, oh wow, the Chocolate Molten cake. A warm chocolate cake with chocolate fudge and an vanilla flavoured ice-cream to top it off.
Now this is the finished work of the air-conditioned bridge connecting the Mid Valley and Gardens. Back in September 2007, this place was totally different.
After getting what I wanted, went straight home and took a peep at my letterbox. Not surprised to see that our letterboxes being spammed.
Tags: The Gardens, Mid Valley, American Chili's, Spam, Chicken Fajita, Chocolate Molten Cake

Who Should Do What First?

You really have to read this report:-

Thieves leave area with no electricity
WE refer to the article under the heading 'Dream homes turn into nightmare' which appeared in StarMetro on Dec 27, 2007.

Tenaga Nasional Berhad (TNB) would like to inform homeowners that the electricity supply to the housing area could not be supplied because TNB gadgets and cables in the area were stolen.
These items were stolen because there was no security at the area.

To prevent the theft from happening again, TNB, after holding discussions with the local council and residents committee, agreed that electricity supply would be connected only when residents move into their homes.

Based on the information provided by a representative of the residents committee last month, the owners have yet to move into their homes.

We urge TNB customers to call or SMS their complaints to 15454 should they encounter any problems with our service.

HUSSIN OTHMAN
General Manager
TNB Selangor (Distribution Division)

Found the above statement by TNB Selangor appalling. How are the residents going to move in when electricity is not connected? But on the other hand, if TNB was to re-connect the housing area and residents delayed their moves, the thieves would ransack the whole area again.

This is really another chicken and egg situation. In this case, who should do what first? Pity the homeowners in the first place as some could be financially strapped due to payment for two houses at the same time (be it housing loans or rentals).
Tags: Chicken and Egg, Tenaga Nasional Berhad, TNB, Electricity Supply