Chinese Jews

Oscar Weil and Benjamin Oppenheimer are Jews, and were sitting in a Chinese restaurant in Shanghai.

"Oscar," asked Benjie, "Are there any Jews in China?"
"I don't know," Oscar replied.
"Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Benjie asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews here in Shanghai?"
"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.

He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."
"Are you sure?" Benjie asked.
"I will check again, sir" the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Oscar said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China, our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Benjie asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I asked everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange Jews, apple Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese Jews! If you want, we have Chinese Tea.
Tags: Chinese Jews, Chinese Tea, Jews In China, Funny, Humour

Conmen Striked Again

The following dialogue was re-constructed by the old folks' son. His old folks were conned and this blogpost is to serve as a lesson and information for all Malaysians.
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PA & MA GOT CONNED BY CONFIDENCE TRICKSTERS

Yesterday at around 11.30am, Ma received a phone call. There was a male voice crying at the other end of the line, saying “he is in pain, got beaten up by people and asking Ma to help him”. When Ma asked who he is, another male Chinese voice said:

Cbinese Male (CM): He is your son, We got him with us.

Ma: What happened? Why is my son with you? What have you done to him?

CM: He owed us (Ah Long) a lot of money.

Ma: How come my son got owed you money. He never borrow from Ah Long.

CM: He got football debts.

Ma: My son don’t gamble, how come got owe you debts.

CM: He stood as guarantor for a friend’s loan. Now that friend runs away, so we got your son to settle the loan. We have been watching your son for 2 weeks.

Ma: How much is the loan?

CM: RM40,000. You bring money to get your son back or we will kill him. Chop him up into many pieces.

Ma: How is my son now? (She already assumed the crying voice is my voice, and she is panicky, fearing for my safety.)

CM: He felled down and knock his head. Got some bleeding on the head. We will take him to the clinic afterwards. You quickly bring the money to bail your son or he will die.

Ma panic and screamed for Pa.

Pa then talked to the CM on the phone. CM warned Pa & Ma not to make police report, or talk to anyone or inform the neighbours or call other people. Demanded Ma to stay near the phone.

CM then instruct Pa to withdraw money RM12,000 from bank to bail his “son”. CM asked Pa where he stays and where is his bank he will take money from. (Amount was later reduced to RM10,000)

Pa told him they stay where they stay and his bank is Hong Leong Bank.

CM then instructed Pa to go to Hong Leong Bank to withdraw RM10,000 and to go to the bus stop in front of the fast food restaurant at the main road and wait for further instructions.

CM warns Ma not to go out of the house. She also cannot put down the phone or cut off the line. She is to hold the phone and keep listening to CM’s instruction.

PA then rode his motorcycle to HLB and withdraw RM10K from his FD. HLB Officer was courious as to why Pa wants to withdraw so much cash. Kept asking him what he wants so much cash for and is there anything wrong? She noticed Pa looked worried and nervous. The Officer noticed that the FD was joint-name with me and she called me from her office (that time was around 1.00pm) to ask if I am aware why my Dad needs to withdraw so much cash. I told her I am not aware of any reasons, and if he needs money, then let him take it.

After a while, I felt it a bit strange that Pa wants to take so much money, so I called home to check. But the house phone was engaged. I tried a few times and then I just forgot about the matter.

(Little did I know that Bank Officer was an angel send by God to try and intercept and stop Dad from giving the money to those confidence tricksters. But I was not sensitive enough to realize that God was doing something to save us from being cheated.)

Pa then took the money all RM10K inside an envelope and walked towards the bus stop. There were some people waiting for bus. Pa sat on the bench and another CM was sitting at the other end of the bench talking on his hp. CM2 then walked towards Pa and said “got call for you”.

Pa took the hp and CM1 asked if Pa has withdrawn the money. Pa said “yes” and CM1 told Pa to pass the money to CM2. CM1 told Pa on the phone, that after they counted the money and found correct, they will release his son in about 20 mins time. Then they will come and talked about “how to settle the balance amount”.

Pa gave the envelope to CM2 and he walked away, climbed up the overhead bridge and cross over to the other side of the road.

Pa went home and waited. After waiting for about 30 mins, and I still didn’t appear, Ma got worried and called my hp, and asked where I was and did I go anywhere in the morning. I told her I was in the office the whole day and got no time to go out.

There are a few things we can learn from this episode.

1. Don’t panic when we received such phone calls. Try to stay calm and rational. Ma wanted to call my wife to find out where I was actually, but the CM warned Ma not to go out of the house. CM got Ma to hold onto the handset all the while when Pa went to the Bank to withdraw money. CM kept talking to Ma to prevent her from going out to make phone calls or seek for help.

2. If we are confident of our children’s activities outside of the house, then we can confidently ignore the caller and can even challenge him to show proof.

3. Make an effort to contact another family member to verify the facts.

4. Demand to speak to the “victim” to verify their claims. Try to stall for time and seek help from police, neighbours, family members.

5. Don’t hand over cash without seeing the “victim” first.

6. There has been many similar cases circulating in the internet. Do take note and warn our children.

7. If there is someone claiming to be from the mobile operator company asking you to shut down your hp for 3-4 hours for “up-grading/maintenance of network / system”; please ignore them. Once your hp is switched off, no one can contact you. That’s when they will move in and try to con your family members to pay money to bail/rescue you. Since your hp is unreachable, family members may be misled into believing that you are being caught by them and the threat is real. You will then succumb to their tricks/demands.
Tags: Conman, Trickster, Fraudster, Con

Finished Product of My ID

Shifted into my new house (still new to me) back in Dec 2009. Although we moved in in Dec 2009, we still went back to the previous home (a condo) a number of times to move many many more stuff to this new house.

How did we stuff so many things into a condo? I really wonder. Anyhow, my Interior Designer did a good job and a professional photographer from a local ID magazine came to take a few shots to be published in the magazine.

If you require any ID consultation, please do contact Ms. Ng Phuay Ching of Be In Design Solutions Sdn Bhd @ 012-3341678.

At first I was quite hesistant to contact an ID with the myth of "expensive". You can actually do your renovation with an ID according to your budget. It all depends on the type of quality and materials that you would use.

I even got my ID to custom make the living hall's sofa (which was made according to my size) and the dining hall's dining table.

My ID helped us with the placing of the respective lightings with all things done on drawings (designer format of course) first before we embark on the hacking.

I have my own faint idea of how my house should look like and with the ID's design concept, the following pictures defined it all:-

Tags: House Renovation, ID, Interior Designer, Be In Design Solutions Sdn Bhd

Alaskan Mountain Venture

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a 'Vote for Obama' hat and a 'Save the Trees' t-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers with 'Go Sarah' t-Shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the ble eding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. 'I give you my blessing for your brave actions!' he told them. 'I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true.'

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies 'Who was that guy?'

'It was the Pope,' another replied.. 'He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to knowledge and wisdom.'

'Well,' the logger said, 'he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?'
Tags: Pope, Pope Mobile, Funny, Humour, Democrat, Republican, Grizzly, Loggers, Environmental Activists, Massachusetts

Koreans Invaded Kuala Lumpur

Forgotten about these photos all this while. Was busy during the World Cup period with office works and the need to follow up with the daily matches.

During the World Cup, I had five South Korean friends in town and knowing that they are fanatic about their national football team, the thought of bringing them to watch a World Cup match that involves their national team came up.

Need to find a place with a giant screen and with lots of football kakis around. That will make the atmosphere superb. After googling around, I confirmed the place.

Off we went to Little Korea. What Little Korea? You didn't know? It exist right in KL.

Drove them from Corus Hotel to Ampang Avenue area, where Hotel De Palma and Ampang Point are on your left and this place is on your left.

First time coming to this part of KL and was pleasantly surprised to see soooooo many Korean restaurants and mini markets catering to the likes of the South Koreans' taste. Apparently, the condos in this area are filled with lots and lots of South Koreans.

We were slightly few minutes late for the South Korea vs. Uruguay match and a giant screen was set up at the car park area.

You don't need to go to South Korea to drool over their beautiful ladies and macho guys, they are all right here in KL. But my eyes were glued to the big screen .... ahem. We stood for the first half of the match and it was quite humid on that night.







You could find a person shouting into a microphone singing those South Korean songs that you would have heard them singing when South Korea hosted the 2002 World Cup. The cheers were loud and the South Koreans actually cheered and shouted the name of the particular player when that player lost the ball or concentration. It was so emotional.


It's like a stadium atmosphere with the people singing the South Korean songs.

There's the lady moving around with a drum trying her very best to drum up the support for their national football team who was thousand of kilometres away.

They will never jeer their players but cheered so loudly for them at all times whether they were attacking, defending or playing badly for a moment.





The crowd got up to their feet to cheer when a South Korean player almost scored.

As the heat was quite unbearable, my South Korean friends suggested to go into one of those nearby restaurants for a meal and watch the second half there.

Can't remember the name of this shop but ensured that I have a good view of the TV first. Yeah, the ceiling has those funny looking exhaust pipings hanging down to cater for those Korean steamboat meals.

The owner, who is a South Korean, came over to our table to serve us and asked for orders. He spoke to me with enthusiasm (in Korean language of course). I looked at him blur blur.

Then my South Korean guest spoke to him (I could guess what was being communicated and laughed about).

The restaurant owner then spoke to me in English. He said this "I thought you were a Korean and your five friends were local Chinese". My South Korean friends laughed and I told them "You see, I told you so. It's even happening in KL".

Wait till I post my photos of my trip to Seoul recently and will tell you those funny travel stories.

Yummy, Korean food. I eat whatever is placed right in front of me (edible stuff lah). This stuff was only for two fellas. Well, forty minutes to finish it off.

My friends didn't have a happy ending as South Korea lost the match to Uruguay eventually.

As we were leaving, I saw a friend trying to pay for the meals. I grabbed her credit card and gave mine instead.

What a commotion at the cashier. Two Korean guys grabbed my hands and shoulders and pulled me out, one lady took back my credit card and the other lady paid for it. Then the lady friend (who paid for it) said this "You are our guest!".

Me? A guest to the South Koreans in a Korean restaurant in the land of Malaysia? Where did it go wrong?
Tags: South Korea, South Korea Football Team, Little Korea, Ampang Avenue, Korean Restaurant, Korean Food

Golfer's Paradise

While walking down the street one day a Malaysian politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and he is met by an angel at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says the angel. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I have made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Yang Berhormat

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules," says the angel.

And with that, the angel escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and dressed in the finest batik there is. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then indulge themselves on lobsters, caviar and the most expensive food there is. Present together is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where the angel is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the Yang Berhormat joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and the angel returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Yang Berhormat reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I am better off in hell."

So the angel escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the Yang Berhormat. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning, just like you did during an election...... Today you voted."

Vote wisely because our vote will establish our government.

People should not be fearful of the government, government should be fearful of its people.

The government represents its people, if the government is corrupted so are its people.
Tags: Malaysian Politician, Yang Berhormat, Angel, Heaven, Hell, Government, Green Golf Course

Tycoons Serving As 'Air Stewardess'

At the rate of what's going on in Formula 1, I don't think we'll be able to see either Datuk Tony Fernandes or Sir Richard Branson serving as a "stewardess" in an airplane.

At the start of the Formula 1, two tycoons each being the owner of a low cost carrier and also a Formula 1 team respectively, had a friendly bet that whichever racing team is placed below another, the losing team's chief shall serve as a "stewardess" in the winner's airplane.

Datuk Tony Fernandes is the CEO of AirAsia (having won the world's best low cost airline, one up on Richard Branson already) and the principal of the Lotus-Cosworth Formula 1 racing team.

Sir Richard Branson owns both the Virgin Atlantic Airways and the Virgin-Cosworth Formula 1 racing team.

Both of them has a blog on their own too written under the blog names of Tony Fernandes CEO Blog and Richard's Blog respectively.

This picture was extracted from Sun newspaper where it shows Richard Branson's face in a 'stewardess' body serving in an AirAsia's airplane.

Still searching for a picture showing Tony Fernandes in Virgin Atlantic Airways's costume hehe.

At this point of time, both Lotus-Cosworth and Virgin-Cosworth haven't obtained a single point in this year's Formula 1. Will both end up not securing a single point at the end of the season?

But I don't think the words "Coffee, Tea Or Me?" works for them .....


One thing that baffles me a lot is why Lotus-Cosworth racing team didn't obtain their engines from Lotus itself.

I understand about Virgin going for Cosworth's engines as they don't come from the motor industry. But Lotus????????? A car manufacturer that can't even supply its engines for a Formula 1 racing team that is racing under Lotus's name?????? That's really funny.

Being as rich as them, it's fun at times when they get to invest their hard earned monies in areas of their interests/hobbies.

Just like the rich and famous who are buying up the English Premier League teams in England. The Sheikh owner of Manchester City is just throwing his tons of monies into the game as if he was playing the Fantasy Football Manager game.
Tags: Tony Fernandes, Richard Branson, Formula 1, AirAsia, Virgin Atlantic Airways, Lotus-Cosworth, Virgin-Cosworth, Lotus, Cosworth, English Premier League, Fantasy Football Manager