This is a malay language comprehension homework passed up to the class teacher. The humourous side is best read in its original written language.
Translated version:
My Family
Everyone in this world has a family. The word Keluarga is family in white skinned people's language. Family has father, mother, elder brother, elder sister, younger siblings, grandma, grandad, uncle, auntie and etc etc.
For the first time I would like to tell everyone in this world that having a peaceful family and doesn't go to war but there are also some that has no peace because having war.
I would like to tell a story about my family. I have a mother and a father but my mother had said she has slept with 3 other men in hotel hence it's confirmed that I was born out of wedlock as my blood group is different from my father who is in this house. My dad doesn't care when my mother went out with another guy.
Elder sister and brother do not go to school anymore because they have stopped. My elder sister is beautiful with a similar face of Marilyn Monroe who is dead. She died because knocked into grandad's car which has an engine capacity of 500cc. (teacher put a remark that this para was out of topic)
My elder brother is handsome or smart like Amitabh Bachan or Sunjay Dutt, sometimes his face changed to Aacapan when he woke up from his sleep. When he finished bathing, his face would be himself. That's my elder brother's advantageous.
Further to this, I would like to talk about my younger siblings. Even though I do not have younger siblings but I bluffed you saying that I have younger siblings.
That's all for now about my family a happy one even though not. Regards.
Yours sincerely:-
Bob
Tags: Education, Malay Language, Comprehension, Karangan, Funny, Humour, My Family
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Women's Decisions
男人最怕的三个答案 (Three answers most scared by men)
(1)随 便 (Whatever)
男:今天 晚上咱们吃什么? Man: What to have for dinner?
女:随便。 Woman: Whatever..
男:吃火锅吧。Man: Why not we have steamboat?
女:不行,吃火锅脸上要长痘痘。Woman: Don't want la, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
男:要不咱们吃川菜。Man: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
女:昨天刚吃的川菜,今天又吃....... Woman: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
男:那咱们吃海鲜去? Man: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
女:海鲜不好,吃了拉肚子。Woman: Seafood no good la, later I got diarrhoea
男:那你说吃什么? Man: Then what you suggest?
女:随便。Woman: Whatever..
(2)都行 (Anything)
男:那咱们现在到底做什么? Man: So what should we do now?
女:都行。Woman: Anything
男:看电影怎么样?很久没看电影了。Man: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie
女:电影有啥好看的,耽误时间。Woman: Watching movie no good la, waste time only
男:那打保龄球,运动运动? Man: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
女:大热天的运什么动啊,不嫌累啊? Woman: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tired meh?男:那找个咖啡店坐坐,喝点水。Man: Then find a café and have drink
女:喝咖啡影响睡眠。Woman: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
男:那你说干什么? Man: Then what you suggest?
女:都行! Woman: Anything
(3)看你 (You decide)
男:那咱们干脆回家好了。 Man: Then we just go home lo
女:看你。Woman: You decide
男:坐公车吧,我送你。 Man: Let take bus, I will accompany you
女:公车又脏又挤,算了吧。Woman: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want la
男:那就打车走。Man: Ok we will take taxi
女:这么近的路不划算。 Woman: Not worth it la... for such a short distance
男:那走路好了,散散步? Man: Alright, then we walk lo. Take a slow walk
女:空着肚子散哪门子步啊? Woman: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
男:那你想怎么着啊? Man: Then what you suggest?
女:看你。Woman: You decide
男:那就先吃饭? Man: Let's have dinner first
女:随便。Woman: Whatever...
男:吃什么? Man: Eat what?
女:都行 Woman: Anything
(看看四下无人,杀了她......) (Look around... no one here, gonna kill her....)
I seem to be getting lots of jokes on women........
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Man, Woman, Broken English
(1)随 便 (Whatever)
男:今天 晚上咱们吃什么? Man: What to have for dinner?
女:随便。 Woman: Whatever..
男:吃火锅吧。Man: Why not we have steamboat?
女:不行,吃火锅脸上要长痘痘。Woman: Don't want la, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
男:要不咱们吃川菜。Man: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
女:昨天刚吃的川菜,今天又吃....... Woman: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
男:那咱们吃海鲜去? Man: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
女:海鲜不好,吃了拉肚子。Woman: Seafood no good la, later I got diarrhoea
男:那你说吃什么? Man: Then what you suggest?
女:随便。Woman: Whatever..
(2)都行 (Anything)
男:那咱们现在到底做什么? Man: So what should we do now?
女:都行。Woman: Anything
男:看电影怎么样?很久没看电影了。Man: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie
女:电影有啥好看的,耽误时间。Woman: Watching movie no good la, waste time only
男:那打保龄球,运动运动? Man: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
女:大热天的运什么动啊,不嫌累啊? Woman: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tired meh?男:那找个咖啡店坐坐,喝点水。Man: Then find a café and have drink
女:喝咖啡影响睡眠。Woman: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
男:那你说干什么? Man: Then what you suggest?
女:都行! Woman: Anything
(3)看你 (You decide)
男:那咱们干脆回家好了。 Man: Then we just go home lo
女:看你。Woman: You decide
男:坐公车吧,我送你。 Man: Let take bus, I will accompany you
女:公车又脏又挤,算了吧。Woman: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want la
男:那就打车走。Man: Ok we will take taxi
女:这么近的路不划算。 Woman: Not worth it la... for such a short distance
男:那走路好了,散散步? Man: Alright, then we walk lo. Take a slow walk
女:空着肚子散哪门子步啊? Woman: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
男:那你想怎么着啊? Man: Then what you suggest?
女:看你。Woman: You decide
男:那就先吃饭? Man: Let's have dinner first
女:随便。Woman: Whatever...
男:吃什么? Man: Eat what?
女:都行 Woman: Anything
(看看四下无人,杀了她......) (Look around... no one here, gonna kill her....)
I seem to be getting lots of jokes on women........
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Man, Woman, Broken English
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Late Christmas Celebration
Normally some events were postponed due to unforeseen circumstances but to go against the world's calender to celebrate a worldwide event was too much.
In Democratic Republic of Congo, a particular sect celebrates Christmas Day itself on 25 May, yeah just 5 days back only. Weird????? Why is that so?
Main Reason: Members of the Kimbanguist Church believe Jesus Christ was born on 25 May and not 25 December. I'm not confused by them but I'm confused by the World Council of Churches ("WCC")
Kimbanguist Church is a member of WCC and I wasn't able to verify their membership status as todate as WCC has questioned Kimbanguist Church's teachings (under Membership paragraph in the linked website) in one of their Executive Committee meeting held in Aug 2004.
The church has around 3 million believers, mainly concentrated in central Africa. It was founded in 1921 by Simon Kimbangu, a self-styled healer and prophet, who was educated by Baptist church missionaries in the west of what was then the Congo Free State. In 1999 the leaders of the Kimbanguist church decided that after several prophetic "revelations", Christmas should be celebrated on 25 May instead of in December. (source: BBC News/Africa)
Tags: Democratic Republic of Congo, Congo, Sect, Christmas Day, Kimbanguist Church, World Council of Churches, Simon Kimbangu, Christianity
In Democratic Republic of Congo, a particular sect celebrates Christmas Day itself on 25 May, yeah just 5 days back only. Weird????? Why is that so?
Main Reason: Members of the Kimbanguist Church believe Jesus Christ was born on 25 May and not 25 December. I'm not confused by them but I'm confused by the World Council of Churches ("WCC")
Kimbanguist Church is a member of WCC and I wasn't able to verify their membership status as todate as WCC has questioned Kimbanguist Church's teachings (under Membership paragraph in the linked website) in one of their Executive Committee meeting held in Aug 2004.
The church has around 3 million believers, mainly concentrated in central Africa. It was founded in 1921 by Simon Kimbangu, a self-styled healer and prophet, who was educated by Baptist church missionaries in the west of what was then the Congo Free State. In 1999 the leaders of the Kimbanguist church decided that after several prophetic "revelations", Christmas should be celebrated on 25 May instead of in December. (source: BBC News/Africa)
Tags: Democratic Republic of Congo, Congo, Sect, Christmas Day, Kimbanguist Church, World Council of Churches, Simon Kimbangu, Christianity
Female Hormones in Beer
Last month, the scientists from the National University of Lesotho released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is
that beer contains female hormones (contain oestrogens) and that
by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men
drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed
that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.
Tags: Female, Hormones, Beer, Funny, Humour, Joke
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is
that beer contains female hormones (contain oestrogens) and that
by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men
drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed
that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.
Tags: Female, Hormones, Beer, Funny, Humour, Joke
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Advertlets
A new blog advertiser has entered the blogosphere to grab its own slice of the cake. Who's that?Advertlets has made the advertising interesting where the host blogger can comment on those featured ad/polls. For blog readers, they could participate in polls. Please do participate. My Advertlets is located on the left column of my blog, just below my profile.
Those who wish to participate, please e-mail: info@advertlets.com with the subject “Advertlets Review!” Advertlets is giving RM50 each away to 300 Malaysian Advertlets Bloggers, just for you to review our service on your blog!
Tags: Blog, Blogosphere, Advertiser, Advertisement, Blogger, Blog Readers, Money, Advertlets
As for bloggers, we would be able to generate some returns too. Besides that, bloggers could also be paid to review products and services from advertisers. At the same time, Advertlets would make the advertisements relevant to our blog readers. This would be a good way for bloggers to link with Advertlets where we could earn additional income while blogging away daily.
With this link to Advertlets, I hope that it could generate more traffic to my blog and allow blog readers to have some interactive time while reading my blog.
Those who wish to participate, please e-mail: info@advertlets.com with the subject “Advertlets Review!” Advertlets is giving RM50 each away to 300 Malaysian Advertlets Bloggers, just for you to review our service on your blog!
Tags: Blog, Blogosphere, Advertiser, Advertisement, Blogger, Blog Readers, Money, Advertlets
Malaysian Youth Music Fest
Looking for 20 volunteers to help out at an event:-
Event: Malaysian Youth Music Fest
Date: 1st Sept 2007
Time: 9am - 6pm
Venue: Palace of the Golden Horses
Transport allowance: RM30 including tea breaks & buffet lunch
Contact person: emily@myof.org.my
Tags: Malaysian Youth Music Fest, Palace of the Golden Horses, Youth, Music
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