Malaysian Mathematician

I find it most alarming that Malaysian schools teach our children the wrong things. I mean, can the children really apply what they are taught in school later in life?

For example, can you imagine a mathematics question in a recent examination as follows?

"If an egg costs fifty sen, and if you buy one-eighth of the egg, how much would you have to pay?" Who in heaven's name will want to buy one-eighth of an egg? The shopkeeper will probably think you are crazy and he will be equally stupid to break the egg and measure one-eighth for you. Yet, this is how they structure the questions in Malaysian schools.

Why not pose questions that would be more useful later in life when you go out into the world to earn your living? To help Malaysia 's Ministry of Education bet to face the realities of life, we are suggesting some questions they could use in our classrooms:-

QUESTION 1 If you drive from Kuala Lumpur to Penang along the PLUS Highway and there are four speed traps along the way, and if each speed trap would cost you RM300.00 in fines, how much in fines would you accumulate by the time you reach Penang ?

ANSWER (Choose one)

1. I would not suffer any fines as the on coming cars would flash their headlights and I would slow down before coming to the speed trap.

2. I would only need to pay a total of RM80.00 as I would pay a RM20.00 bribe at each speed trap.

3. I would not be stopped as I am an UMNO Wakil Rakyat so I am exempted from speed traps.

QUESTION 2 If your Bumiputera company is awarded a RM150 million government contract, and you make a 20% profit, how much profit would be at the end of the contract period?

ANSWER (Choose one)

1. I will not be making a 20% profit as I would have to pay the Minister 10% and UMNO 5%.

2. I would make 30% profit, which is the progress payment I receive, after which I will abandon the project and let the government call for re-tender.

3. My company will not make any profit at all as I will siphon out all the profits and show a loss to avoid paying corporate tax.

QUESTION 3 If the ruling party obtained 54% of the popular votes the last election and won 151 or 80% of the seats, and if it saw an increase of 10% in votes this election, how many more seats would it gain?

ANSWER (Choose one)

1. The ruling party will not show a 10% increase in votes, as it will stuff the ballot box with another 20% to give it a 30% vote increase.

2. The ruling party will win a ich are the newly created seats in the delineation exercise recently done.

3. The ruling party has already decided it will win 90% of the seats and the votes have nothing to do with it.

QUESTION 4 If the national petroleum company, Petronas, pays a 5% royalty to Terengganu State and if the amount paid is RM800,000,000 per year, how much should Petronas have in the bank accumulated over the last 25years?

ANSWER (Choose one)

1. Nobody is supposed to know as Petronas need not show its accounts to anyone except the Prime Minister and this information comes under the Official Secrets Act.

2. Petronas earns only 50% of its petroleum revenue from Terengganu so Petronas' total income accumulated in the banks over 25 years should be RM800 billion.

3. Petronas has nothing accumulated in the bank as all the money has spent bailing out companies and finance mega projects.

Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humor, Politics, Malaysia, Mathematics, PLUS Highway, UMNO Wakil Rakyat, Petronas, Terengganu, Ministry of Education