Brigthening Up Your Day

Anniversaries

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for twenty years?" "I remember that, too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have been out of jail today and a free man!"

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The Dying Preacher

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.

The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and the attorney were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?" The old preacher struggled under the effort, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too."
Tags: Jokes, Funny, Humour, Anniversary, Preacher, IRS, Attorney