Malaysian Style

A simple guide to Malaysian Style for foreigners in Malaysia in which Malaysians could vouch for it:-

Lesson 1
You have just landed in Kuala Lumpur International Airport and the first thing you want to do is to call your Malaysian friend. If you're calling him at home or at the office, the first thing to say on the phone is "Eh, what you doing?". If you're calling him on the handphone (cellular phone) the standard greeting is "Eh, where are you?"

Lesson 2
Your Malaysian friend has graciously offered to pick you up from the airport. He said "Give me half an hour...", be prepared to wait at least one and a half hours. This is probably your first encounter with Malaysian Timing. There's no need to adjust your watch. Whatever time a Malaysian tells you, just add another hour, and you won't go wrong.

Lesson 3
You have no friends in Malaysia (yet) and you decide to take a cab from the airport. You'll soon realize that the one-way taxi fare is more expensive than a night's stay at most decent hotels.
(this is still prevalent even though the government has said it again and again that illegal cabs wouldn't surface again)

Lesson 4
If your friendly limo or taxi driver, says "Sir, you want to try some Thai chicken?", he's definitely not suggesting a good place for Thai food. If you encounter the word "chicken" in a taxi, hotel lobby or street corner, it usually means a lady who charges you a fee in exchange for pleasure.

Lesson 5
If you're a newbie expat, your colleagues will definitely introduce you to the mini Beverly Hills of Kuala Lumpur, Bangsar. Believe me, there are other more interesting places to shop, eat and drink. And by the way, get the pronunciation right! It's "Bar-ngsar" not "Bang-sar" as in "Bangkok".

Lesson 6
Why do Malaysians call all Caucasians "Mat Sallehs"? About a hundred years ago, drunkard sailors from the West were a common sight in the Port Klang area. The locals used to call them "Mad Sailors". Somehow, it got corrupted into the Malay name "Mat Salleh". The Chinese will still call you "Gwai-Loh" or "Devil". To the more polite Hokkiens you're a "Ang Moh" or "Red Hair".

Lesson 7
If your Chinese friends invite you to join them for a Chinese meal like "Hokkien Mee" or "Bak Kut Teh", eat as much as you can. You're never gonna get it anywhere else. Not even in China, Taiwan or HongKong. There's another Malaysian invention, the "Yee Sang" or raw fish salad (served during the Chinese New Year). Before I forget,if you're the queasy type, avoid ordering "spare-parts" when you're having "Bak Kut Teh", unless you fancy all the internal parts of a pig.

Lesson 8
When you're in a restaurant, always "pop" the disposable tissue packet as loud as you can. Don't worry, nobody will get annoyed. Usually, at the end of a ten course dinner, there'll be one "Big Bang" as everybody "pop" theirs. In order to express your appreciation to your generous host, remember to throw in a loud belch as well. Although it may be normal in your own country, don't ask the waiter for a separate bill (check). Either you pay for everything or just keep your mouth (and wallet) shut. If you feel bad about it, offer to pay the next time. Anyway, don't worry too much about it as most locals know that most Mat Sallehs are "stingy buggers".

Lesson 9
Don't like to be a stingy Mat? Take your friends to a Mamak "fish-head curry" restaurant. Order the prawns and the crabs as well. Be totally reckless, don't ask about the prices and don't check your bill as well. I guarantee you'll find a big hole. The one in your pocket, not the ones you're always chasing in Bangsar. Whether you're in a five-star hotel or at a roadside stall, always ask for the "bill". Nobody will understand when you say "check" or "tab". Need a paper napkin or serviette? Just say "tissue".

Lesson 10
Every Wednesday or Thursday night is Ladies' Night at the "fun pubs" and discos. That's the night when most club operators get rid of all their stale and unwanted alcohol. They mix it into some strange cocktails and give it away free to the ladies. Ladies' Night is actually Men's Night! That's the time when all the predatory "buayas" (crocodiles) go out in full force. Stick to normal nights, you'll find less competition. If you're a lady, stay away from the "buayas" and the free drinks (unless it's pouring brands).

Lesson 11
Stop hassling the street vendor who sold you a 3 VCD set of "The Titanic" that didn't exactly meet the ISO 9000 specifications. C'mon, what can you buy for US $3 back home? Besides, you should listen to your own government and not buy pirated stuff. But from what I see at Imbi Plaza, pewter and batik are no longer the favorite souvenirs. By the way, when you're at Imbi Plaza, don't forget to check out another distinguished landmark of Malaysia; the world's first and only permanently static escalator.

Lesson 12
Malaysian drivers tend to slow down when they come across any road accidents. They are not being cautious nor are they intending to give assistance. They must catch a glimpse of that ever important "Nombor". Even if the number (license) plate is broken into a million pieces,* *the passersby will patiently re-assemble it just to obtain that "lucky" number. Then, it's off to the 4D betting shops. If the numbers don't come this way, they do some quick interpretation of their dreams through the handy Chinese Dream Book. It looks like a Clip Art Visual Catalog.
Nightmares are included as well.
Tags: Malaysian Lifestyle, Malaysian Style, Funny, Humour, Kuala Lumpur International Airport, KLIA, Malaysian Timing, Bangsar, Caucasians, Mat Sallehs, Hokkien Mee, Bak Kut Teh, Yee Sang, Disposable Tissue Packet, Mamak, Fish Head Curry, Ladies' Night, Buayas, Imbi Plaza, 4D

Partying at Nuffnang's Birthday Bash

The Nuffnang Pajama Party finally came (held last Saturday night). Party revellers came to register around 6pm to 7pm.

About 200 Malaysian bloggers and 100 Singaporean bloggers attended this event.

Thanks to Nuffnang, our blog advertising company, who organised this event in conjunction with their 1st anniversary / birthday.

The event was held at Borneo Baruk Club located at Jalan Kia Peng.

The party dress code was - come dressed in what you wear to sleep. It was a big problem for me and many others as well.

I went along with Dominic and we got to know Amy and Akira (one party reveller thought he was a japanese) just before the start of the party.

Amy bought the night dress just for the party itself. Akira was in a common long sleeve/pants pajamas style.

As for me and Dominic? Simple shorts with our t-shirts as that were our usual sleeping outfit. Actually was worried while driving to the event as it was raining then. How cold would the air-cond be? I ensured that the place we were sitting was far from those strong blowing air-conds.

On hotter nights, may go without the t-shirt but this was not an option for the party night as it would cause me to be too busy handling new found fans.

Dominic participated in the mimic the Malaysian Dreamgirl contestant's modelling pose. If you were good enough, you would win a prize. But it seems all who went up won a prize. All of them were that good?

The co-founders of Nuffnang, Timothy Tiah and Ming were presented with a gift each and were required to open and use the gift immediately.

How nice of the Nuffnang staff ........ and they get to 'humiliate' their bosses to become Superman for the night in front of 300 bloggers who would blog about this (cameras were clicking away to the maximum at this point of time) and 300 multiply with all those blog readers ............ my my.

I would have gotten sack by my boss just by the sight of the underwear.

Got to know KYspeaks who usually blogs about his food adventures wherever he travels to. And when he speaks, everyone listens?

Excellent write-ups on many food outlets in Kuala Lumpur. So, food afficinados.....go check it out.

David Lian won a Nintendo Wii game console by virtue of him having the quirkiest blog on the I Sleep Better with Chipster contest.

The party was co-sponsored by Chipster and this David Lian went to the extent of 'sewing' a set of wearable shirt and shorts. Such efforts must surely be rewarded.



Now, whom did I get to know / meet personally?
Curryegg - found out she's staying near my condo

Skyler - I thought it was her so I tried my luck and asked "Do you know who is Skyler?" ........ haha! Have to be thick face at times

Liyin - there was a game that pits you with a lady. I was Tarzan and need to find my Jane, she was one of the 2 Janes I found, where were the rest of the Tarzans and Janes?

In this game, there were other pairs, for e.g. Beauty and the Beast, Hans Solo and Princess Leia, Mickey and Minnie and you would have to grab your other half to go up stage to grab a price. Second part of the game was to gather as many of your pairs as possible and the top team won cinema tickets

First part - can't find any Jane, maybe she hid from me when she noticed me shouting for JANE!
Second part - only 2 pairs of Tarzans and Janes (I was 1 of the guys) ................ sigh!

Yvonne Lee - won lots of nuffnang monies from her in the traditional scissors-paper-stone game

Ione - won lots of nuffnang monies from her too .... hehe but it was nice of her donating all her nuffnang monies hoping that I could bid for some prizes but ended up donating it to KYspeaks as the amount that I have was totally insufficient to bid for anything

Yipguseng - heard that he was not feeling well that night but still made it for the party - bravo!

Did I miss anyone out?
More party pictures in Nuffnang's website.

Reading: Bloggers jam in pyjamas at first year party - Star
Reading: Bloggers turned sexy creatures at party - New Straits Times

Tags: Nuffnang, Nuffnang 1st Birthday Bash, Borneo Baruk Club, Birthday Party, Party, Pyjamas, Pajamas, Pajama Party, Malaysian Dreamgirl, Chipster, Wii

Escapa Air Force Test

This will drive you nuts!!

The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.

If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal. It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for their fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes. So, if you do pass the 2 minutes barrier, click here to join the US Air Force.

Give it a try but be careful...it is addictive!! Tags: Escapa, US Air Force, Air Force Test, Game

Abu Dhabi Through My Lens IV

On the night before I departed from Abu Dhabi, went over to the nearest McDonalds from my hotel for dinner. Rather had a take away and their take away packaging was superb.

I ordered a Big Mac (McValue meal - large) and it cost me 21 Dirham, roughly RM18. Life in Abu Dhabi is definitely not cheap.









This was Abu Dhabi's airport right at the centre of the departure lounge.

A friend asked "Why only one photo lah?"

The moment after I took this shot, I saw a signboard which has a camera picture with a slash over it, meaning no photograph shooting inside this area.

Was I lucky that the nearest airport security personnel was quite far away. Walked away from this spot so that those people (other than security personnel) who saw me wouldn't be able to pinpoint me..............phew!

Related posts:-
* Abu Dhabi Through My Lens I
* Abu Dhabi Through My Lens II
* Abu Dhabi Through My Lens III
Tags: McDonalds, Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates, Abu Dhabi Airport, Travel

Golfer's Ball Used as Murder Weapon

A pro golfer by the name of John Henry Isenhour III could be charged for killing a hawk with a golf ball. Not that he was holding on to the golf ball and hit the hawk with the golf ball. He actually hit the golf ball with his golf club and it struck the hawk bulls-eye.

John was upset with the hawk for making noise during one of his golf instruction video shoot and when it landed 300 yards away on the golf course, he aimed a few shots at it. The hawk flew away but landed on the golf course again, 75 yards away this time. John took aim at this hawk with few more shots.

One in a million as quoted when his golf ball hit the hawk and it got murdered right on the spot.

That action caught the attention of the Humane Society of the United States that submitted a complain to the PGA Tour commissioner and he lost his practice privileges at Grand Cypress Golf Resort, the place he murdered the hawk. He had apologised since then. What a day!

Reading: Golfer apologizes for shot that killed protected hawk - Golf.com
Tags: John Henry Isenhour III, Golf, Hawk, Humane Society, PGA Tour

My Experience Being a Polling & Counting Agent II

Continuing from where I left off on the blog entry posted on 11 March 2008. Time didn't permit me to post this topic earlier as I left the country the day after election for Abu Dhabi and came back on Thursday afternoon. Managed to log on to the internet on Thursday evening and by the time I finished my dinner, I was totally knocked out at 8.30pm due to jet lag.

Was on leave on Friday as needed to attend to personal stuff and went to see my new house which was still under construction, I went to the showroom instead to note down details on where I could improve/renovate. Need to plan from now onwards even though I might get the keys next March 2009.

Back to my main topic, to finish off my experience in being a polling agent.

............ Was it raining? Nope, almost but the sky cleared up again with the hot sun ray shining down on earth, maybe my area lah. As the classroom had only 3 ceiling fans, we could feel the blistering heat and was sweating too. I wonder how I survived such classroom atmosphere last time and moreover, kids nowadays have more comfort at all compared to me. And they didn't complain about such heat in the afternoon. Phew!

More shameful events (shameful to those who didn't register or registered but didn't vote):-
a) My mom walked more than 1km to vote
As I need to leave house so early to report for duty as a polling agent, I can't fetch her for election for the first time. We vote at the same polling station. As my mom needs to go off for work in the morning, she went ahead to walk to the polling station at a nearby school. Estimated 1km from my house. She was born in the year 1943.

b) A man with a walking stick
At my polling centre where I was on duty, a man between the age of 59 to 65 (can't recall the age but he voted in my classroom which was this age range) walked into the classroom with a walking stick.

He needed to pause while walking as I presumed, either his leg was painful or he was tired walking all the way into the school. Nevertheless, he made it. He crossed his ballot paper and tried walking to the ballot box. He walked slowly with the pain or tiredness. Could see his face changed the moment he cast that ballot. A duty done as a Malaysian citizen and walked out of the school compound slowly without help.

Just found out that a blogger friend has registered herself as a voter just this week itself and she would be eligible for the next election. Well done Huei! Proud of you.

Other weird happenings in my classroom:-
i) this voter (a chinese guy) came in and the Election Commission officer read out his reference number. He asked the officer to wait for a while, took the officer's pen and wrote something down on a white piece of paper. That officer looked him, looked at us 2 polling agents and suddenly the voter said "nak ambil nombor bagi 4 ekor" [taking down the number to buy 4 ekor - a kind of gambling similar to lottery where you predict the 4 numbers (1 to 10 in any arrangement) that would be the winning number].

I nearly died sitting down there hearing that statement. All of us in the classroom smiled (trying very hard not to laugh) but we laughed after he left the classroom.

ii) this voter (another chinese guy) walked in and showed the Election Commission officer his driving licence. Of course and naturally, the officer asked for his identity card. This fella, if law permits I would have whacked the daylight out of him, said the following sentence "Why driving licence cannot ah? It's allowed what! International passport also can".

The Returning Officer nodded his head and the Election Commission officer read out his particular. He thought his 1 vote was so valuable that he could be throw his knowledge on what could or could not be accepted in identifying a voter.

iii) a voter (I think an eurasian this time) strolled in during late afternoon and stood there quoting us his reference number. The officer asked for his identity card and this man said "I have already shown my identity card just now to those people out there".

You see, some people tried to show how smart they were but didn't know that it was their stupidity that they were carrying at that point of time. If this fella was voting for the first time, I would excuse him for it.

iv) Carol Chew, the other election candidate that was challenging the incumbent at Seputeh, walked into my school compound in the late afternoon. Suddenly, the school was abuzz with many people. As there were lesser voters in the afternoon, we could relax a bit and see the commotion outside our classroom which was facing the main school gate.

Reporters came along too plus some of Carol Chew's supporters at both of her sides. She chit chat with those Election Commission officers seated at the canteen area who checks voters details. Out of the canteen and nearer to the school block where the voting classrooms were situated. An Election Commission worker was pushing in a wheelchair bound voter towards the walkway where Carol Chew was standing. I saw one of her aides signalled to Carol Chew to help out.

She quickly walked over and actually put her 2 hands on the armrest/handle and actually stood there for a while for the reporters to take pictures of her doing that "good deed". I called my leader and told him of the situation and was told to report to the Head of Election Commission ("EC") team in my school.

I told him that I wanted to protest on an event and he actually followed me as I explained to him of the situation. I said to him quite loud just outside the classrooms and told him that it was unfair of Carol Chew doing such a thing in front of so many voters who were still walking in to vote. I said that such act could just turn a voter's decision into her advantage. I also said that if she wanted to do it, couldn't she do it outside the school compound.

The Head of EC agreed but said that he was not informed of her coming in with so many outsiders. I replied even louder this time "You mean the police didn't know about this rule even though all of them were standing around the school compound area?".

Hehehehehehehehe............ the reason I said that loudly while pointing at the Head of police contingent (a Sergeant rank) was because he was already standing besides the Head of EC at that point of time. That policeman was stunned actually. He looked at me and I stared at him with a disappointed face shaking my head (left right left right). I also noticed a reporter taking my picture ........... without asking my permission?????

Not letting go of the opportunity to talk, I continued with "the reason I chose to be a polling agent was to see fairness in the election and this is what I'm seeing with my own eyes". The Head of EC apologised to me straightaway and both of them proceeded to Carol Chew's group and talked to them where they moved out slowly.

My leader came back in a short while and called me out of my classroom and enquired what happened......... hehehehe. He went out fetching another guy to another school for duty replacement purpose.

My Barisan Nasional ("BN") polling agent counterpart has a substitution. Another guy came in to replace the lady who started in the morning. He was from Kajang. From our conversation during free time, he did say that it was wasting time to watch over the polls in Seputeh area knowingly DAP would win for sure. I asked why did he come then and he said it was his friend (the leader) who requested for his help.

As time passes by, the group of us in classroom 3 kept reminding each other "45 minutes to go", then "30 minutes to go". One of them joked "nobody will come at this hour". To our surprise 2 more came in within the last 30 minutes and we smiled at each other. At 4.58pm, one voter walked into the classroom but her reference number doesn't appear in our listing. We told her to run to the next classroom. When we looked at the main gate, there were people running to whatever classrooms they were supposed to vote. Typical Malaysians?

Ok ........ 5pm, everyone in the classroom agreed to close the classroom doors. Each classroom has an assigned policeman and he stood guard in our classroom too.

more tension later on ....................... to be continued ..................

Related posts:-
* My Experience Being a Polling & Counting Agent I
* I am a Polling and Counting Agent in GE12
Tags: Polling Agent, Counting Agent, Malaysia, 12th General Election, Barisan Nasional, BN, Democratic Action Party, DAP, Election Commission, Returning Officer

Most Horrendous Accident in UAE

Reported in today's Khaleej Times that was delivered to my hotel room in the morning. I did hear about it from colleagues yesterday afternoon. So happened a colleague went past that same highway yesterday and he was caught in a massive traffic jam for hours. He has only seen this kind of accidents in a movie but not real life.

Tags: Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates, Car Accident