Friday, April 25, 2008

Being A Chinese

There are at least 29 ways to know if you're Chinese. You will laugh at yourself when you read all of them.

1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and re-use the wrapping (and especially those ribbons)
2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out
3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times
4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You hate to waste food:-
(a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them (your mom will give you a lecture about starving kids in Africa)
(b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing
6. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers and jam jars
7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel
8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of hot water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant
9 . You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker
10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it
11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill
12. You have a teacup with a cover on it
13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive Walkman; if you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera
14. You're a wok user
15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm
16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached - it means they're fresh
17. You never call your parents just to say, ' Hi '
18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay indoors when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked foods because such food is ' heaty'
20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart
21. You always cook too much
22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table
23. You starve yourself before going to an ' All You Can Eat ' buffet
24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry, electronics or computers
25 . You own your own meat cleaver and sharpens it
26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin
27. You call a sausage a hotdog
28. You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons and forks of the airline that you fly on and put in your travel-bag as souvenirs
29. You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial tissues when you check out from the hotel because you believe that you have paid for it all
Tags: Chinese, Funny, Humour

Labels:

9 Comments:

Blogger Blowfly said...

im proud to say, i have the "officially cina" chop on my forehead

26 April, 2008 01:03  
Blogger BeverLy's Secret said...

hahaha!! Super hilarious..
I strike 80% of all the statements...

hahaha...I just don't like buffet, tupperware and wok...


P/s: thx for visiting my secret garden! Stay in touch.. Your blog rocks..

26 April, 2008 02:56  
Blogger Johnny Ong said...

somehow i can relate to most of it also la ..... how come so real

28 April, 2008 00:22  
Blogger Kritz said...

actually, i read one is
'your parents always tell you not too eat fried food when you're sick because it's YEET HAY'

then after a few
'you know what is YEET HAY'

i'm not that chinese but my parents do almost all of them LOL

28 April, 2008 17:56  
Blogger QuaChee said...

hey this is quite true lol :) but im sure there are kiam siap ang mohs around too haha.

oh one more, and we eat food - as a whole - when its served eg the fish with head, the piglet including its head & tail... and even the duck sometimes! :)

28 April, 2008 17:58  
Anonymous Beatrice said...

Hey, no fair! I am not even remotely Chinese, have no Chinese relatives, or am even remotely Asian at all (I come from Northern Europe and all my relatives too), and your list appeals to me more than 90%?

Where's the joke here and what is so "Chinese" about being frugal and health conscious?? :-)

03 May, 2008 01:44  
Blogger Johnny Ong said...

kritz - well krizt, most people will tend to follow their tastebud rather than the food is nutritious or not

quachee - what else does a chinese doesn't eat?

beatrice - we can start compiling / writing one "Being A Northern European"

03 May, 2008 03:16  
Blogger C.l.i.c.H.e G.a.L said...

haha... its so hilarious.. and yet true... I guess I am really a CINA...haha

03 May, 2008 07:53  
Blogger Johnny Ong said...

clichegal - happy to see u finding more truth abt yrself

28 May, 2008 18:52  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

>